SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Wishing you peace and clarity in this emotional storm, and good health for your son and your dad.

I use spokeo in my business to track down people. It allows cross searching multiple ways. I do believe if you pay for a certain level of subscription in has a way to cross check emails with subscriber accounts for most of the shady sites. I just use it for address and phone info, so don't know much detail

HellFire,

I know you don’t know me, but I want to caution you with that website for finding usernames. After my DDAY 2, I went and did all of the checks on my WS. With that website, I can promise you this, anything you type in the search field will say there is a user account for only fans and badoo dating sight. Sometimes there are few other sites, but always those two pop up no matter what you type. Any name. Try yours, try mine, try random letters. Same result.

The burner phone is something else, but that site does not give you accurate information about user accounts, anything you type will pop up an only fans and a badoo.

anything you type in the search field will say there is a user account for only fans and badoo dating sight

I will admit to being skeptical about this especially since it’s this poster’s very first post, but I checked a few email addresses (including my own) and sure enough…. My sincere apologies HellIsNotHalfFull for doubting you.

anything you type in the search field will say there is a user account for only fans and badoo dating sight

Wow thanks for sharing. Hellfire is going to investigate this forward and backwards. I hope this is a misunderstanding or misinformation, but all of us are better prepared if next time ever happens. I hope you are doing ok Hellfire.

anything you type in the search field will say there is a user account for only fans and badoo dating sight

Damn! I used my usernames too to verify the accuracy of that site and yup,

HellIsNotHalfFull claim is very accurate. It should I had logged in to OF and badoo dating site which I have never done.

I am extremely sorry I recommended that scam site to you and caused unnecessary pain to you. I am really sorry that I didn't verify its authenticity before recommending it you. Your husband is probably innocent.

I am ashamed. Thank you, HellIsNotHalfFull for timely response. That was great help.

[This message edited by Lurkingsoul12 at 3:49 AM, Thursday, July 6th]

Emergent

I am new as far as accounts go but I’ve been on this forum for almost 2 years. I don’t post much for my own personal reasons, but this situation hit home, as I too have blown up on my WS with information that was completely wrong. It wasn’t fair to her, and it caused a lot of damage that we are still repairing.

I do appreciate you taking the time and at least giving me the benefit of the doubt instead of ignoring me.

I had to say something

I had to say something

I’m genuinely glad you did. I’m sure you saved more than a few BSs( and WSs) that gut punch, stomach drop feeling we all know so well. Trust is hard enough to rebuild without things like this sowing seeds of doubt.

Anyhow, welcome to SI. I hope you’ll continue to share if you feel inclined to do so. I mostly lurked for a while too.

Best wishes to you Hellfire. Anything you need.

Some folks don't check thoroughly?

woodsracer ( new member #83407) posted at 5:34 PM on Wednesday, July 5th, 2023

I use spokeo in my business to track down people. It allows cross searching multiple ways. I do believe if you pay for a certain level of subscription in has a way to cross check emails with subscriber accounts for most of the shady sites. I just use it for address and phone info, so don't know much detail[/quote

The Internet has turned into another wasteland of dis-info.

Regarding "pay-per-view" website/services like Spokeo - the one I used to check on someone was very legit. I knew enough about their history to judge whether or not the $$ I paid was legit. For example, work history and places lived and relatives.
Even had her speeding tickets.

About the only "privacy" now on the WWW is the end-to-end encrypted messages and those are under fire now.

Once you put something in your browser and hit enter or send - you have lost control over who will be able to see it.

Note the recent Twitter clamp on volume "data scraping" - there are businesses that exist to gather as much info from any available web server accessible via Internet. Where do they forward or what do they do with all the info?

HellIsNotHalfFull - her revelation here is a sort of warning or a 'heads-up' on be careful what you post anywhere.

Searched Spokeo on 'sisoon', and it has me on 5 social networks. I can guarantee that I use 'sisoon' only on SI.

Very quick update..

First, thank you for all of the support,prayers,and well wishes for my son and father.

Son is fine. It's a miracle.

Dad made it through the surgery. He's very weak.

I have not confronted. I'm watching. Gathering. Processing. Deciding what I want after dday.

I have to confront..but I don't have to reconcile. I know what it entails...and I might just say fuck ALLLL of that! I did it once. I don't think I want to do it again. I'm more angry than hurt. That's good. I think a switch has just flipped,and I'm done. No matter what his response is.

I also know myself well enough to know I have to have a 100% smoking gun..the burner phone is my goal. I need to find it. Everything else he will lie about. And I need something to throw at him when he tells me he's done nothing wrong. Just kidding. No..really.

I've ordered a few vars. We don't share an Amazon account, and he is used to packages arriving,so he won't question it.

Also..I know I've said OW stalks me here..so you probably are wondering if she will tell WH. Funny thing..she's in jail. It appears to be DV related. That's not so funny.

So. That's where I am. I'm ok. Thank you.

Oh! @Lurking..don't you dare feel ashamed. You didn't know. I did find exactly what HNHF mentioned. I believed the original search, so my next step in my investigation was to join those sites..and a few others..and couldn't find the username anywhere. So I I asked a friend to look herself up on that site,and apparently she's also a member of badoo, meetme, onlyfans,etc.

Anyway..you offered your time,and help, and I appreciate that!

@HellsNotHalfFull..welcome! Thank you so much for posting! Your help is very much appreciated!

[This message edited by HellFire at 10:50 PM, Thursday, July 6th]

Sending you good phone-finding juju, and more good juju for your dad's healing.

Hellfire, your posts here at SI are always clear and strong; I am confident that you will use that strength during this new set of trials.

May God grant healing and recovery for you and your entire family.

Sending good wishes to you and your family HF, and a reminder to you to prioritise your own self care in amidst caring for everyone else and with a heightened and vigilant nervous system. I guess there was some unconscious trigger that sent you on the investigative route…good to know your gut is working away on your behalf but really sorry there may be some substance to its suspicions….I hope not though.

Thank you,again. This place is invaluable. It's a blessing to come here, and know you have been HEARD.

UPDATE:

VARS are in place. So far,there's nothing odd.

I've seen an attorney. I know my rights,and I know I will be ok,if I choose divorce.

I'm not very good at pretending everything is ok,but he's chalked up my distance to my son's accident, and dad's health. Which,is playing a huge part.

Slowly things are returning to normal. Son is fine. That's the most important. Insurance will fix the vehicle. Dad is hanging in there. So I'm trying to move forward. It will help when I no longer have to look outside, and see the mangled truck(it's going in the shop this week).

I've given myself 30 days to find what I'm looking for. If I find nothing, I will still confront. And,most likely, I will confront with divorce papers.

I love my husband. But I will never put myself through the R process again. It's been several years of crazy stalking me,and my family. If he didn't learn a lesson through all of that,then he will never get it,and I'm too over the bullshit to try again. He knew I would never offer the gift of R again. If he is cheating again, he did it knowing he was choosing divorce. He also did it knowing my instincts are spot on, and he would be caught eventually. If he thinks he is smarter than me, he's about to find out the only fool here is himself.

I will update further, when I have something solid.

I assume that probably a few technically savvy people have already helped you, so I won't stick my neck out, but username consistency is not enough. Even if the username is quite unique, dictionary attacks on services are so common that even the wildest names are often taken. I'm more concerned about the burner phone, but it's hard to say more without knowing the context. Personally, I have several work numbers and several personal ones, so a lot depends on the context.

I keep my fingers crossed and hope that everything will turn out well. I hope that your father's surgery goes smoothly. Sending strength.

It seems like it’s worth asking: if the one suggested search option was a dud, does anyone have a better option?

I'm more concerned about the burner phone, but it's hard to say more without knowing the context.

He's a truck driver. There is no company issued phone, or tablet. He has zero reason to have another phone. And,if he did,we have a strict transparency policy since dday. I get full access. If he needed another phone,for any legit reason, he would tell me,and I would have the password.

Thanks, IH. At this point, I've given up on finding where that username has been used. I'm hoping to find the burner phone.

I love my husband. But I will never put myself through the R process again. It's been several years of crazy stalking me,and my family. If he didn't learn a lesson through all of that,then he will never get it,and I'm too over the bullshit to try again.

Another Dday, is something I’m not expecting, but absolutely prepared for. I have played the scenario over and over in my head until I feel the response would be second nature, calm and cool. Like the pilot that prepares for emergencies.

I hope he’s not up to anything, I hope there is a logical explanation, but if not he has completely misjudged who he thinks he’s fooling. Strength to you Hellfire.