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How long did WS know AP?

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layla1234 posted 10/11/2019 06:06 AM

Before an affair started? Did your WS have an instant attraction? Most stories I see have that instant attraction where the affair began shortly after.

My WS knew AP for 7 years. She was single when they met but married now. He says he never had feelings for her until 2017 (coincidentally shortly after she got married).

[This message edited by layla1234 at 6:11 AM, October 11th (Friday)]

steadychevy posted 10/11/2019 06:17 AM

At least a couple of years. My WW supervised him. She says she hardly knew what he looked like, though. Then she got an inkling he liked her and BAM. She went after him hard.

annb posted 10/11/2019 06:19 AM

My WH worked for the same company as AP. They worked on opposite coasts.

WH taught some corporate classes, and OW was enrolled in one, a five week course over several months. That's where WH met OW.

After the classes were completed, OW would contact WH for ANY excuse about what she learned, how to apply it to her job, blah, blah, blah. The emails went from business-like to how was your day and then the EA started.

There wasn't any instant attraction. It was the validation and ego kibbles WH got over the company email system.

It was about three years between the classes and their tryst at his hotel.

Marie2792 posted 10/11/2019 06:25 AM

2 days...he saw her in a gas station and pulled into a pump so he could talk to her. They had sex on day 3.

[This message edited by Marie2792 at 6:27 AM, October 11th (Friday)]

cocoplus5nuts posted 10/11/2019 06:25 AM

Not more than 10 months. It wasn't an instant attraction, either. It took weeks to months of grooming on her part.

Brennan87 posted 10/11/2019 06:43 AM

Even though AP lives 300 feet away, was never in our purview for 12 years more than a "how are you", "good Morning" situation. We didn't run in the same circles, just pleasantries in passing. Until the fateful day his child was playing with ours and he reached out to my wife via FB and the rest is a sad, horrific history....

JSS1227 posted 10/11/2019 07:07 AM

it started immediately when they met. All it took was compliments from MOW during a group workout for him to decide to become a cheater. They started ďfriendlyĒ texting right away, that became flirting within days, the next week she gave him a BJ in the parking lot, and within days of that, they were having sex in MOW/OBSís bed

ThisIsSoLonely posted 10/11/2019 07:40 AM

Layla - sadly we could have the same WHs.

My WS knew AP for 7 years. She was single when they met but married now. He says he never had feelings for her until 2017 (coincidentally shortly after she got married).

Same. Seriously - same.

He and AP worked together - his AP's OBS also worked there (that is where he met her too). The OBS and AP got married after she had been working there and they had dated for several years. They were married in 2015, had a baby at the end of 2016 and 7 months after he was born, A started. WH says (and this I believe as I have read all the messages from that time) that he never even thought about her in "that way" ever, until she called him drunk one night and professed her attraction for him. Apparently that was all it took - then he was interested - and so it goes.

fournlau posted 10/11/2019 08:46 AM

2 weeks! He spent 6 days out of the week 200 miles away for work and met her playing Pokemon Go! If you can believe that. At first I assumed it took time for them to work up to it, but no, it pretty much happened fast, guess her pussy was magic for him to sacrifice almost 30 years of marriage, a life we built together, and 5 kids in less than 2 weeks!

likeapinball posted 10/11/2019 08:54 AM

Probably a couple of years, they worked together at the same company. I'm sure there was some inappropriate flirting going on. They didn't start getting physical until 11 months after we were married. Then carried on (and off) for 15 years. She had two husbands throughout that time!

MalibuBayBreeze posted 10/11/2019 09:02 AM

To this day I have no idea. I had never met this bitch or heard her name in all the years I'd known him. Yet she was friends on FB with a few people from his distant past.

She could be an old friend. An ex flame. Or just some skank who was a mutual friend of others he knew and sent that fateful friend request on FB.

It's all part of the mountain of crap I don't know and won't know because he refuses to tell me anything.

She's fucking lucky orange is not my color is all I can say.

gmc94 posted 10/11/2019 09:22 AM

Nearly 30 years when the EA went PA.
And I never even knew she existed.

Chaos posted 10/11/2019 09:38 AM

WH AP was the object of his unrequited love in their youth. Showed up on Facebook as "someone you may know". Yadda yadda yadda...

MailServer posted 10/11/2019 10:12 AM

WH and AP were in the same clique in high school. After that they never had to say anything to each other for over 30 years, except for a few words at some reunions. Facebook brought the clique together. Her husband died and she immediately went after WH. Her dead husband still warm in the grave.

TX1995 posted 10/11/2019 10:19 AM

Letís see...she started working with him in Spring 2015. Looking back at (her) suggestive emails and texts and getting WS to really examine their friendship, the EA started almost immediately, though he told himself it was ok because both were married. She started getting more physical (touching him, sitting on his lap at work social things) and personal (more frequent texts) with him Spring 2016. She kissed him and came to his room on a work trip in January 2017 and the sex was in late March. So basically he didnít know her long before the EA, and about 1.5 years before PA.

layla1234 posted 10/11/2019 11:06 AM


It does sound really similar. I'm driving myself crazy analyzing everything. Why didn't he go to the wedding? They were such good friends. He apparently told her not to invite him because he hates weddings. Her and her husband had no kids. He wanted kids and I guess she didn't. At the time, my husband wanted nothing to do with us so it made sense that they were drawn together. He never even talked about his kids to her.

DebraVation posted 10/11/2019 11:20 AM

Seven years I think. We all met on an antenatal course when we were expecting our eldest children, who were then born on the same day. It must have been the stretch marks and surgical stockings that did it for him.

Evertrying posted 10/11/2019 11:31 AM

He started working at the same company in early 2014. Met her a short time later. Worked on a project together in fall of 2015 - Just friends. By early spring 2016 "the feelings" started.

First kiss was sometime early summer 2016 and full on fuckfest started in August 2016.

Shit hit the fan September 1, 2017. Affair ended.

landclark posted 10/11/2019 11:34 AM

Technically he knew the first one for 32 or so years, but hadn't seen her in 28 years. Immediately after they reconnected on Facebook, he started an affair. Like the next day. One other was the same night he met her (waitress). The others he hadn't known long, and the initial jump to affair took a few months longer (but I would argue that he reached out to one with the INTENT to start an affair, and it just took longer for her to bite).

[This message edited by landclark at 11:34 AM, October 11th (Friday)]

numb2018 posted 10/11/2019 11:44 AM

About 5 years. Our girls played organized sports together and they lived in the same neighborhood. I believe things started happening when STBXH and MOW went to travel tournaments out of town with our girls.

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