I think the holidays come too early anyway. Now it begins after Halloween.
I like to decorate with fall colors, flowers and foliage and that transitions to winter evergreens and white flowers, white lights in December for two weeks. I don't add any color or jolly elves, snowmen, all the rest including the music until the last two weeks. I wish it could be a two week party of lights, song, pretty things and a little shopping and going to some events. By the time the end of the year comes, it's been on tv and out in the world so long that it's become regular.
Trying to limit it helps it retain the fun for me.
If old traditions don't bring joy then turn to thoughts of appreciation and service.
Way back when, during the ice age, Europeans struggled for survival in small groups. Everybody was important then. You needed the contributions of every member of your group. All the skill, all the knowledge, all the strengths, all the hands to do things. And people gathered around the fire trying to survive and be thankful if they ate and hoping to see the next spring. That became a festival of lights and ritual meals handed down to us. We celebrate and exchange gifts because we appreciate each other and we are grateful to see another year. Now there are things through history that got added and layers and layers of traditions but at its core, the winter celebration is a thank you.
So if you can strip away all the added parts and sit quietly with a candle or a fire. If you can invite someone to share a meal. If you can give a small token of appreciation or call and express your thanks for help from that person during the year, there is no need to be pressured to do the rest. If you want to then fine, but don't feel bad.
The holiday is not to give bad feelings. It is for thankfulness. If you can share with those who have nothing, that's even better.
Take a break, just go enjoy nature and if you feel like baking your favorite treat and share with a friend then that's great. We don't need everything to be happy.....I think of little Tiny Tim who appreciated love and kindness. The holiday is in our hearts, not in the things. The things are fun but not essential.
When I was a kid, it was in the things. Now I see it differently. I go an listen to my friends choir group and I feel lifted up. We have a few cookies and punch and I try to imagine what it was like for kids back when. A sweet cookie was a great. Sugar was expensive. Spices were expensive. Gingerbread was luxury. We are surrounded by plenty.
We hardly know what scarcity is. Well, some people know and they need us to bring them some happiness. I always try and give to toy drives and to food drives. No kid should be hungry or forgotten. I believe no human should be hungry or forgotten. We have come too far to let that happen. Time to go back to the roots, to be thankful and to appreciate the contributions of others. No one succeeds alone. We all rely on someone's effort.
Please find some comfort in this whirlwind called the holiday season. Find some little thing you can call your own. Maybe a vase of greens and a bright how, maybe a few treats, maybe a simple song, maybe write a real letter by your own hand. Maybe be happy to be able to help someone in need.
I am sad too for what I lost and some things are different to me now. That's ok. Maybe sometime later Ill enjoy them again. If I don't want the old things I can share with those who can't afford a tree or lights or whatever it is. I know I can get more of that later.
Sadness is a companion who sings a song in my mind. A song of sadness to fill my day and night. And I have wondered too, if death wouldn't be kinder than a long persistent song of sadness that never ends. To hear a different song requires effort. We have to learn to sing a different song to ourselves, at least sometimes until it gets more frequent. Then one day that sad song is not there anymore.
Please find a gentle song to be happy for. You are here. Your kindness is here. You are loved. Your life is worth so much. You can do so much still with your mind and your will and your words and your two hands. You have all of your human ability to do good with. It's an amazing power. Don't let sadness take that from you.
Celebrate it at the turning of the year. Gratitude to be here another year and share the power of human love and kindness.