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The dark side

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 J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 4:59 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

So I've been watching star wars with my kids lately, catching them up for the new one coming out and my DS18 had a little conversation with me later about the dark side and his wayward Mother. He was comparing her affair to giving into the dark side. The force was to strong for her to fight because she is weak. I know she cheated because, well she wanted to. But it was a very interesting way of putting it coming from my son. Was "the force" just to strong. My ex is a very typical cheater. Obviously no one was forcing her to the dark side, she chose that route. Am I a Jedi Master for resisting the urge of the force during our M?! Just thought it was an interesting topic that my son brought up. I feel bad for him knowing that's how his thought process is now.

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landclark ( member #70659) posted at 5:32 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

As a Star Wars nerd, I think it’s awesome that he’s able to apply the storyline to real life. You’re right though, it’s a little sad. I think about my own son and hate the idea of him being faced with the reality of people’s dark sides. I can prepare him for real life, but it still sucks.

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through AugustOne child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5

First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.

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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:59 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

Interesting analogy. And pretty cool he's making it.

The Force is strong on both sides. The Dark Side is always alluring with it's false promises and fun and such.

Temptation is real.

Inner strength is a choice.

The side we nurture wins.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

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 J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 9:28 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

The side we nurture wins

Absolutely!!

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hansvoleman ( member #55284) posted at 10:00 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

The force was to strong for her to fight because she is weak.

And Darth Mater is born.

When you cheat the first person you betray is yourself.

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NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 10:24 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

Love this perspective being an avid Star Wars fan.

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rebplay ( member #59205) posted at 11:55 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2019

Star Wars lover here too and awesome analogy! Smart son you’ve got there. Hopefully knowing the truth will help our kids make better choices as adults. I HAVE to believe there’s gotta be something good to them knowing. May the force stay strong with you and your kids.

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Walloped ( member #48852) posted at 2:09 AM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

Excellent. And the analogy can apply to many of our situations.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Yep. There are a lot of lessons and parallels you can draw from Star Wars.

Me: BH 47
Her: WW 46
DDay 8/3/15
"Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.” - The Doctor

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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 2:15 AM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

She seeked out and chose the dark side.

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solo ( member #57709) posted at 12:32 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

Huge Star Wars fan as well. Great analogy. In Star Wars mythology, love can redeem those who have given in to the dark side. Hopefully that part can play out in real life as well.

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solo ( member #57709) posted at 12:32 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

Huge Star Wars fan as well. Great analogy. In Star Wars mythology, love can redeem those who have given in to the dark side. Hopefully that part can play out in real life as well.

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maise ( member #69516) posted at 1:15 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

My son said something similar to me once. He said if it had been me I wouldn’t have given in but that WS was just weak and gave in. Interesting they both sort of put it that way

BW (SSM) D-Day: 6/9/2018 Status: Divorced

"Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

— Rumi

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 J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 3:01 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

I HAVE to believe there’s gotta be something good to them knowing.

My son did tell me that thanks to his mom, he will have trust issues and now he knows what signs to look for as far as cheating. But he is looking at things/life differently now. He sees things for what they are, through the bullshit, not in a little bubble anymore. He has a huge heart and I know this shitstorm won't change that, but it will make him see and observe people differently.

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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 3:14 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Know what tho J707? Hopefully your son being able to see through the bullshit and see people for what they are and who they are will help him to forge more meaningful relationships and not deal with waste of time people. Sucks to have learned it at such a young age, but knowing what I know now, I sure wish I had!

The force is strong with this one!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

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 J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 4:48 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Sucks to have learned it at such a young age, but knowing what I know now, I sure wish I had!

Me too! I don't want to call it a blessing but it is. For my sons future relationships. My DD12, she's acting more mature than her mom, she's the one still processing everything (overactive brain) on a different level. Just focusing on school, reading (straight A's) and being a goofball with me. There can be many gains during all this. Direction and guidance is key!

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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 5:49 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Wise, he is.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

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