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When others know about your partner's affair but dont tell you ?

Iwonderwhyme posted 12/2/2019 13:34 PM

Has anyone ever been in this situation with FAMILY ?

I want to know how you reacted when you found out ?

How did they react when and IF you ever confronted them ?

WHY DID THEY KEEP SILENT ?

What's your relationship with them NOW ?

[This message edited by Iwonderwhyme at 3:04 PM, December 2nd (Monday)]

dblackstar2002 posted 12/2/2019 13:44 PM

my uncle knew about his brothers wife cheating on him, And so did his family. My uncles brother has not spoken to any of them in years! The last thing he said to them was, I depended on you to tell me the truth, No matter how painful it would be to me!!!!

Chaos posted 12/2/2019 13:46 PM

I will never forgive those who knew but didn't tell me.

Much like with any bad news - lives and dynamics are forever changed.

The wicked flee when the good do nothing.

Family is only but an added degree of difficulty. And an excuse when it comes to burying ones head in the sand.

Funny thing - if you don't do anything wrong you don't have to worry about everyone finding out and who will/won't "tell on you"

Letting evil prevail for the sake of "keeping the peace" is cowardly.

Keeping the "secret" protects no one and makes the twist of the knife even deeper. It is another person doing the betraying. It is wrong.

There are no winners when it comes to affairs.

Atg100 posted 12/2/2019 14:09 PM

Don’t confront them.
Drop them.

These people don’t have your best interest at heart.
Family or not.

betsy62 posted 12/2/2019 14:33 PM

The mother of my nieces(brother's first X wife), and I were pretty close, even after she and my brother split up.
My X and I spent time, and some holidays with her. She remarried. My X and her new H became good friends.
Turns out, he knew what my X was doing. When the X SIL knew that I knew, she stopped talking to me.
I have not heard a word from her since.
My X, however, is still friends with them. He still goes hunting with them, stays at their place, goes to holidays at their place.
I would have had a hard time being their friend after the whole thing. So, it probably would have ended up like this anyway...but,
it's pretty F'd up, when your own family sides with the X.
And, makes no effort to reach out to the BS, who is family and a friend.

The1stWife posted 12/2/2019 14:37 PM

I had a friend who married a serial cheater (her high school boyfriend). Everyone knew but her family and friends.

His co-workers knew
Their neighbors knew
His friends knew
His friends wives & girlfriends knew

She found out about his serial cheating and fiancée and his second OW and OC (other child) from the current 3rd OW.

She dropped the all. She lost her marriage, home, friends all in one second.

She remarried and went in to be very happy. But it took years to get past the lies and deceit.

maise posted 12/2/2019 14:39 PM

My situation was not with family but instead a large group of "friends" that all knew that WS was fucking a "friend" within the group for a long time. I confronted the person I was closest to, she said she didn't want to get involved...I told her that it was wrong and I would have told her immediately as a friend instead of letting it go on for so long behind her back. I cut them all off. I dont need people like that in my life.

Thanksgiving2016 posted 12/2/2019 15:21 PM

My WH entire family knew and so did OW family. Both families thought I would be dumped and the would all live happily ever after. They live across the country from WH and I. No contact for them just like the OW. They are dead as far as my WH and myself are concerned. Also OW is married and was during entire affair but OW is still openly friends with my WH family and apparently her BS doesn’t care

20yrsagoBS posted 12/2/2019 20:53 PM

AP#3 was a classmate of WH. They were assigned a group project, the group time was also their fuck time. The group knew, but didn’t want to get involved by telling me. AP#2, was another military member one of WH’s coworkers saw with WH on a work trip. WH’s coworker called me to report his seeing WH behaving “inappropriately” in the hotel swimming pool with AP#2.

Gottagetthrough posted 12/3/2019 06:10 AM

Wh bragged to his family when he had his first A. They knew what was going on and still had me come to their house for Christmas where Wh asked for a divorce.

I was 15 hours from my family, had a 6 month old and 4 year old, and they had known for about a month.

carriemcsky posted 12/3/2019 12:16 PM

When DDay hit, I called my sister immediately after I kicked WH out the door. At the time, she was in the car with her husband, his brother and his brother's wife. They were coming home from dinner. My BIL dropped off my sister at my house, then took his brother and wife home. He then came back to my house.

I had been sobbing to my sister (I had told her on the phone that I had found out WH was having an affair), and probably wasn't making a lot of sense. As soon as my BIL came in, he said, "Don't tell me her name. Let me tell you". And he did. He knew her name, he knew what she looked like, and he had suspicions. When I asked him why he didn't tell me, he looked at me very honestly and said, "I truly didn't think he would ever do that to you. So I told myself that WH and OW were just friends". (BIL works with WH and OW used to work there. She was let go about 3 months before DDay).

That's not even the least of it.

After I told my sister on the phone (while she was in the car with all of them), she told them what had happened. BIL's brother and wife were not the least bit surprised. Turns out, they had gone out to breakfast a few weeks before DDay, and saw WH and OW at the restaurant. They told my sister and BIL that it sure looked like WH was SCARED TO DEATH when he saw them walk in. Later, WH told me that as soon as they were being seated, he and OW took off out of there (they hadn't even ordered yet).

So I had to deal with FAMILY knowing, or at least having big-time suspicions, and keeping it from me.

I do not speak to BIL's brother and his wife anymore. After knowing these people for over 30 years.

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