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Off Topic :
Making any sense of life..and death?

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 somanyyears (original poster member #26970) posted at 4:39 PM on Friday, June 19th, 2020

In our city news yesterday, a mother of 37 and her three young girls, 6 , 4 and 1 , were killed an an auto accident.

DRIVING a car or truck is VERY SERIOUS business.

For all those out there who STILL drink and drive, ...PLEASE STOP!!!

..or are on your phone... PLEASE STOP!!!

To all the family, friends, neighbours, co-workers of this family, I send our deepest condolences.

Our first grandchild, a boy, is about to be born into this world... NOW, as I type this... dil is in labour... 10 centimetres dilated..

I'm, afraid...very afraid, some asshole driver will take my family!!!

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6080   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 8552682
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LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, June 19th, 2020

You bought back memories of bringing my first born home from the hospital.

Before leaving the hospital, a senior mid wife and baby restraint expert, inspected our baby capsule and checked that it had been installed and secured correctly. We weren’t allowed to leave the hospital until the capsule passed inspection.

I had a real fear of being hit by a careless driver before even getting my baby safely home. I was scared on that drive home. 🙏🏼

September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

posts: 953   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020   ·   location: Australia
id 8552708
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:21 PM on Friday, June 19th, 2020

While drinking/driving is NEVER EVER in any circumstance acceptable. There is no freaking excuse with all the options available. Uber, Lyft. Many jurisdictions have the police provide free rides.

But...

Congrats somanyyears - I send you hugs, prayers and good vibes on the arrival of your precious grandbaby. I hope you are able to snuggle with him so very soon.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8552715
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:25 PM on Friday, June 19th, 2020

Congrats SMY - When you lay your eyes on that baby, i hope all those fears fall away and you able to be present in the moment and fall madly and wildly in love the only way a grandparent can.

It is supposed to be more amazing than even being a parent. We aren't quite ready for that in my family, but I hope it comes some day.

There was a similar accident here w/ 2 mom's and their daughters, passing through to a volleyball tournament. All killed by a Drunk Driver, my best friend from childhood also lost her dad to a drunk driver when we were 15. Life altering are the only words I have. Why these people are not convicted more seriously I do not know.

Congrats Papa.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8552717
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 11:32 PM on Friday, June 19th, 2020

Complete tragedy that mother and her children. Heard about it this morning. The 20 year old who hit them is in serious condition. He was driving after having his license revoked AND had put different plates on his vehicle. I hope they throw the book at him!

Oh how exciting that dil is in labour. This is a joyous time and I know that the dangers of stupid people are all around us but please just soak in that baby.

Congratulations!

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25896   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8552816
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 4:19 AM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

SMY I'm sorry you are fretting about this and completely understand. I dearly want grandbabies yet sometimes feel grateful I don't, our society has too many challenges and too much ugliness. Yet, a new baby is proof that the world is also a beautiful place.

Holding DD in the LIGHT and can't wait to hear the news!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8552880
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:23 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

Congrats SMY!

I hear ya.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8553016
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 7:32 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

FUCKING DRUNK DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!

If you want to drink and drive and kill yourself, go right ahead. But you don't have the right to be driving drunk on public roads where other people are driving and risking THEIR lives.

That driver deserves to have whatever the maximum penalty the law can apply.

And CONGRATS on being a grandpa!!! You know this thread is useless without pictures, right??

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8553019
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 9:37 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

Drunk driving - no words.

First grandchild - no words in a much different way. Congrats, SMY. I hope he's healthy - which is probably the case, given today's technology.

May you have many years together.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31119   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8553055
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 10:18 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

I get the worry...have 2 grandbabies pretty recently myself.

But, dude...get ready! Your life is fixin’ to change!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8553064
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 somanyyears (original poster member #26970) posted at 11:10 PM on Saturday, June 20th, 2020

..I think I've figured it out.

Somehow, and there is NO escaping it, every person will get a share of joy and a measure of sorrow. Even the little one year old, in her year of life, had a time to smile and laugh and time also for crying out.

Everyone needs to run and jump to see how far we can reach, and we all will fall at least once..in the trying. We'll maybe break an arm or a leg, and sometime, break a heart.

Life, I think, is SUPPOSED TO go from to , from to and then all the way to

Otherwise, you're missing out on all the 'feelings' we're capable of experiencing.

...and then there's DEATH... sometimes a other times we see it coming. An old pet or an old grandpa..?

Thank you ALL for the feelings you shared here with me, not just on this post, but for 10+ years of posts, jam-packed with compassion and advice...and congratulations.

My birthday is coming up July 1 by the way! (cheap plug for cake BR )

Our grandson was born at 4:30 pm Friday. I'll ask my son and dil for permission to post his pic.. or 24?

Stay COVID 19 free everyone. I'll be bach.

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6080   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 8553070
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 5:33 AM on Sunday, June 21st, 2020

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson, smy. I hope you get to cuddle him soon. Nothing like it!

Total contrast to the drunk driving part of the post. A family totally torn apart; destroyed. Drunk driving, distracted driving, and any other way drivers are irresponsible that cause injury or death are too common any more. In that way, it worries me that marijuana has been legalized in so many places and that it is used so casually with little thought to how it may affect one's judgement when getting behind the wheel. It doesn't concern me if anyone uses it as long as they do not endanger others.

I agree that a photo would be great, but you are right to ask for approval to share it.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8553123
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 12:38 PM on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2020

I worked at a hospital for many many years ...there were times when just going to the nursery and looking at the newborns would bring a sense of peace after a really hard day...

Congratulations on the new addition Grandpa!! Hope you can see him soon!

me-BS him-WS

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2885   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 8553638
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