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Supporting your child financially

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HeartFullOfHoles posted 7/22/2020 10:10 AM

The same applies to women as well. My ex provides little to no financial support for our girls simply because as the custodial parent there is no mention of this requirement in the divorce decree.

She has effectively received half of everything I have or every will make, but when I was paying her child support whenever what I was paying was used up she thought I should pay half for everything else. So basically she thought I should pay for the first X of expenses and anything after that should be split. When it should have been each of us contribute X and if there is anything after that then we can talk about splitting. Hint, 2X would be more than enough for everything they could possibly need and most everything they may want.

She also thinks that 2/3 of all her housing related expenses should be attributed to the child support so what I was paying was in her mind used up very quickly and because of this almost everything is considered an extra expense that should be split. Of course I am also expected to have housing accommodations that allowed the girls to visit so have most of these same expenses no matter if the girls are here 0 or every day of the month. She never could understand that the child support was for the incremental expenses and the girls specific expenses. Now that I am paying them directly she charges them rent to continue to get her piece of the child support.

FYI I do think it is a good idea to make them pay their expenses (rent included) because that is part of learning how the real world works, but her providing little support and then asking them to pay her out of what I provide infuriates me!

She has also told them multiple times we can't do "Something" because your dad won't pay his half and continually plays the half truth that I do not pay her monthly spousal support. I chose to pay her out in cash instead of being stuck with a monthly obligation for life and the connection that would require.

homewrecked2011 posted 7/23/2020 08:31 AM

Xh would not pay for extracurriculars. I didnít tell my children,,and I found the money for them to do many things. -mainly marching band. It paid off bc they both got college scholarships to Div 1 schools, and were in these huge bands and have been to Bowl Games, etc. (They worked some, but I really wanted their focus to be on studying and band, as I knew the scholarships would benefit them in the long run.)

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:32 AM, July 23rd (Thursday)]

Cooley2here posted 8/19/2020 16:03 PM

I donít know if itís federal, or state by state, but where I live child support, once ordered by the court, has to be paid even if the child is 50. The money is for the child. Once the child reaches 18 has no bearing on the fact that the payment is still due. There is no statute of limitations on payment of child support. There are penalties. Pretty big ones.

barcher144 posted 8/19/2020 21:26 PM

You canít get into trouble with the courts for telling your kid dad isnít paying for college.

This is not true in my case. My parenting agreement explicitly states that one parent is not to discuss with the kids if the other parent is late on payments (or something like that).

This, of course, doesn't stop my STBXW from making up all sorts of lies and telling them to the kids.

Anyway, do your kids a favor and don't talk about the other parent in a bad light. It doesn't help you... and it hurts them. Let them discover the truth slowly, on their own terms. My kids are 8, 13, and 14 and they are already connecting the dots... the stuff that Mom says about Dad is completely inconsistent with what they see about Dad.

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