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Love, clarified

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sisoon posted 9/21/2020 10:12 AM

I was NOT going to sacrifice anything more!!
I think you're flat out wrong on that.

People in general sacrifice for each other again and again. I bet you sacrifice for your H again and again, and I hope he does for you, too.

Most sacrifices are small, but they add up.

Cleaning even a small part of one's home serves everyone in the home - it takes at least a little more energy than cleaning when only one person is in the home. Cooking for another person takes a little more energy than cooking for one ... allowing someone to choose a TV show that isn't one's first choice ... cooking a dish because someone else likes it ... choosing to wear clothes that your partner likes ...arranging your schedule to have more time together ...l etting your partner choose an entertainment ... when you choose, choosing the entertainment that you think your partner will like best ... even asking for what you want (because you risk having to accept a 'No' answer) ... all these are sacrifices if you expect nothing in return.

I think a person sacrifices every time they adjust their behavior in the light of what they think their partner would prefer. Sometimes, just considering one's partner before making a decision is sacrificial.

I'd go further, too: I believe an action can be sacrificial even when it what the doer wants. If you like doing a task and it benefits others, doing it is sacrificial if no return is expected, even though you enjoyed doing it.

These micro-transactions slip by almost without notice, but they are important. IMO, it's the innumerable little 'yeses' we get from and give to each other that allow us to accept a 'no' from time to time.

[This message edited by sisoon at 10:23 AM, September 21st (Monday)]

36yearsgone posted 9/21/2020 10:25 AM

With respect, there's a strong strand of Jewish-Christian-Muslim thought that is anti-sex. I suspect that the use of the 4 terms for 'love' is an attempt to get people to focus away from sex. It appears that most of the literature about these 4 types of love is from Christian sources.

I can't speak for all Christians or any other religion for that matter, but I can tell you as a pastor that the use of the 4 terms for 'love' has absolutely nothing to do with getting people's focus away from sex.

They are used as a juxtaposition against the word love in other languages. In English we casually those around the word love to such a degree that it loses meaning. We use the word love when we mean like, enjoy or even as sarcasm.

The Greek language is very specific almost granular. The English language, well, not so much.

That's because more pastors/rabbis need to spend more time teaching through Song of Solomon.

I think CaptainRogers may have meant his comment as tongue in cheek. But I agree with him. Sex is actually an important topic in Scripture and should be taught for the beautiful thing that it is and can be.

Want2BHappyAgain posted 9/22/2020 18:34 PM

I think you're flat out wrong on that.

I absolutely was . The weird thing was that my H kept saying that he saw no difference...but I felt it. I still did things like what you wrote about...but INSIDE...I didn't do it with a giving heart if that makes sense. But when I took that next step...and showed the agape type of love...that was when everything just fell into place!

36yearsgone...I have heard about some people...women in particular...who have been taught about sex being only for procreation. I have never been taught that. I was taught that sex between a married couple is a precious gift to be enjoyed by each other. My only "hangup" about sex was that I was NOT going to commit adultery...but everything else was alright. We went a little overboard on that...but we are thankfully back on a path that is open and pleasing to God .

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