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ladyvorkosigan (original poster member #8283) posted at 8:51 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
He's the last parent I had.
I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.
It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.
timeforchange ( member #27454) posted at 9:32 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I am so sorry to hear of your huge loss.
I don't know what advice to offer.....
Grief is a path and journey. A long hard one. You can only take it one step at a time.
Hugs to you tonight ..... 
Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
aesir ( member #17210) posted at 9:51 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I don't think there really is any advice possible, at least none that is helpful.
ETA: After some time to think on this, I still have no advice. I find that even 15 years later, the loss of my father is still painful, and I wouldn't change that. Every painful thought reminds me of what I was fortunate to have in the first place.
[This message edited by aesir at 7:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]
Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
Tearsoflove ( member #8271) posted at 10:41 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
So very sorry for your loss.
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 10:57 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I'm so sorry Lady V.
Even though I had my own family, and my sibs, when both Mom and Dad were gone, I felt so alone in the world.
Do you have siblings? Or are you an only child?
We are here for you.
((((Lady V))))
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 11:24 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Oh, I'm so so sorry! ((((HUGS))))
Do you have people who can come to you IRL and walk with you through this?
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 11:45 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I'm so sorry to hear that. I've lost both of my parents too, I have a brother and that helps. Do you have a sibling? This is a time when you can bond with them if you are not close. In my case that is what happened.
Lean on friends....esp. if you have friends who knew your Dad.
I understand that "lost" feeling. I believe he is watching over you...and he's with your mother now.
Time will make it easier. You will always miss him.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:57 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have no advice, just hugs (((((LadyV))))).
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
hurting2much ( member #25643) posted at 12:01 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
((((ladyV))). I am so sorry
cass ( member #24261) posted at 12:13 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Do you have other family members/close friends who can help you through this very difficult time?
(((ladyV)))
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 12:18 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
LadyV, I’m so sorry. My Dad died just before Christmas 2011 and my Mum died the day after her birthday on 22nd May this year, 9wks ago. My Godmother died 3wks ago and the funeral was Thursday just gone. It was the shock of my Mum dying.
I think one of the hardest things (apart from having to deal with all the personal effects) is not being able to just pick up the phone and give them a call. My Dad was full of sound, sage advice and my Mum able to give me help with why my jam won’t set.
I feel for you. It’s a very sad time. You don’t need advice, you need someone to give you lots of hugs and understanding. Wrap yourself in the love your Dad had for you and know the memories will always be there. Hugs.
Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boysHaving an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom
Too_Trusting ( member #99) posted at 12:27 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Oh ladyv,
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 1998, and my mother this year on Mother's Day. Losing your last parent is quite unsettling. It's like I don't know how to "be" without a parent.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Huge hugs. 
"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies
Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 12:33 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
(((((LadyV))))
I'm so sorry for your loss.
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 12:44 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
One step at a time. My Dad died 6 years ago and it still takes my breath away.
(((ladyvorkosigan)))
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
whyohwhyohwhy ( member #17890) posted at 1:10 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Life goes on.
Me:50 BS
Him: X, 54 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD17, DD11 divorced
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:13 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
(((((((Lady V)))))))
Sorry for your loss
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 1:36 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
Big hugs
(((LadyV)))
I have no advice. Just compassion.
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 1:39 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
ladyV...
I'm so sorry, I completely understand...I lost both my parents too..
I'm too young to go through the rest of my life not hearing their voices
I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.
It's especially hard when exciting things (good or bad) are happening in my life...I don't have either of them to pick up the phone and tell. So, I make sure to 'talk' to them on a daily basis. I keep their memories very much alive in my heart and mind. It also helps that MH loved my mother very much (my dad died in '82) so he has wonderful memories and stories of her as well. 
Again, I'm really sorry for your loss.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 2:05 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
I'm sorry for your loss LadyV
MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 2:05 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013
((( ladyv)))
I cannot offer advice as I've only lost one parent so don't know what it feels like to lose both.
All I can say (from personal grief when I lost my dad ) is to cry and don't bottle your emotions up and find someone with big shoulders who can just hug you and be a strong presence for you -both now and in the future.
I am so sorry that you have to grieve for someone once more.
(((Huge hugs)))
BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†
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