SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

How are you STUCK????

You got to eat cake and when it was all said and done, you got CAUGHT. And now you’re STUCK??! Stuck where??? Why???

NO! You’re not STUCK! You don’t get to be STUCK! WE are stuck, with lying, cheating ass cake eaters who now feel stuck in their mentalities of cheating... WHAT did yo think was going to happen?? That you’d end up happily ever after with your soulmate schmoopies?? Really????

You’re 🗣 NOT STUCK! You just don’t want to fix what you broke, which is fine!! Just STOP DRAGGING YOUR POOR BSs along on your selfish, entitled, sinking ship!! DROWN OR SWIM ON YOUR OWN!!

Can’t make up your mind?? Pack your shit and get the 🗣 HELL ON!! Go be with your soulmates. God forbid we keep you from your happiness. 😒😒😒

Just a vent

I'm sorry (((SC16))).

((((SoulCrushed))))

(((soulcrush)))

BUT.... a huge thank you for such a great vent. I have read it aloud a few times now; with all the emotion that I feel it deserves. It is so cathartic!!

I feel the injustice, the rage, the indignity.... you are not alone.

Raising my glass to you!

I can still see the faces of my 2 husbands when they were "stuck" . Neither one of them wanted to "let me go"...but they didn't want to let the adultery co-conspirators go either . I made the decision easy for them . I knew something was "off" with both of them during their affairs...but like the cowards that cheaters are...neither one of them had the balls to let me know before they started sticking their dicks into the cumdumpsters.

I WISH I would have reacted to my 1st H the way I did to my 2nd H when I found out. MAN...my 2nd H was DEVASTATED when I told him the M was OVER right after he confessed to his A. I showed NO emotion whatsoever. I learned a lesson from my 1st M and I REFUSED to be in an M with a cheater again!!! I heard that affair bubble POP so loud!!! My H was UNstuck so fast...and scrambling to get me back anyway he could!!!

Unfortunately I didn't know about the chemical rush and all that crap when this was happening with my 1st H. I just KNEW my LOVE would win him back . However...the silver lining to that was that when I came out of the Betrayed fog...I was DONE...there was NO coming back. My XWH...TO THIS DAY...regrets his actions that led to losing me.

When I see some of the STUPIDITY of the Waywards...I think about a story I read in an OW Support Forum. The OW in this story started out saying that she had unselfishly been being such a big HELP to her poor MM . He told her how he was stuck in a loveless M with a frigid wife . He wanted so BADLY to be with his OW...but you know...he couldn't leave his children . So the OW helped him out...and outed their A to the frigid BITCH of a wife . As it turned out...the wife was ECSTATIC...because she was having an A too !!! So...according to the wife...they could have an open M...everyone WINS . Except...that now that the WH found out his wife was spreading her legs for someone else...he suddenly wanted her all to himself . He DUMPED the poor wittle OW...and was trying desperately to win his wife back . The OW was CRUSHED!!! She couldn't believe...after ALL the LURVE she gave her MM...and how AWFUL his wife was to him...that he actually WANTED to be with his wife!!! IDIOTS!!!

I see this stuff played out on the Wayward Forum here too. I smile when I see the Waywards that think they are all that...and can't decide between a faithful and loving spouse or a lying and cheating adultery co-conspirator...because I KNOW how it is going to end . These "torn cheaters" have NO IDEA that the BEST thing that ever happened to them...their faithful and loving spouse...is going to realize this one day...and these cheating idiots will LOSE everything. EVERYTHING.

But I KNOW that these faithful and loving Betrayed Spouses WILL come out of this HELL in the end...and without the albatross of a cheater around their neck...they will be so much BETTER . I'm one of them !!! It takes some of us a little longer to realize our WORTH...but when we do...there is NOTHING we can't accomplish . We then can see those pathetic souls who wallow in the shit of their own making...and we are so THANKFUL we aren't in it anymore .

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Preach!!!

Stuck. What a crock of bullshit. The only thing that was stuck was a WH's dick in some skank. Please! I become incensed when I read the Waywards crying. Oh boo fucking hoo. THEY created this shitshow. THEY lack integrity. THEY broke their vows and destroyed their marriages. All for selfish, teenage bullshit. For an orgasm. For an escape from adulting because it's just too much!

I'm so sick of the excuses. The terminology. The psychological reasoning. Watching BS after BS twist themselves up trying to comprehend behavior that is incomprehensible.

Each and every WS made a choice. A conscious CHOICE to betray their spouse. They knew damn well what they were doing, the many risks involved and just didn't care. Then we are left to pick up the pieces as they furiously try to rug sweep with their suddenly spotty memories. Oh gee hon, I just can't remember the first time I fucked _____. Or where. Or why. Or how.

Sorry for running away with my own vent SC but you hit the nail on the head!

When I see some of the STUPIDITY of the Waywards...I think about a story I read in an OW Support Forum. The OW in this story started out saying that she had unselfishly been being such a big HELP to her poor MM . He told her how he was stuck in a loveless M with a frigid wife . He wanted so BADLY to be with his OW...but you know...he couldn't leave his children . So the OW helped him out...and outed their A to the frigid BITCH of a wife . As it turned out...the wife was ECSTATIC...because she was having an A too !!! So...according to the wife...they could have an open M...everyone WINS . Except...that now that the WH found out his wife was spreading her legs for someone else...he suddenly wanted her all to himself . He DUMPED the poor wittle OW...and was trying desperately to win his wife back . The OW was CRUSHED!!! She couldn't believe...after ALL the LURVE she gave her MM...and how AWFUL his wife was to him...that he actually WANTED to be with his wife!!! IDIOTS!

Want2,

I laughed ALL the way to the bank and back home! !! The emojis got me!

I really can’t say I feel badly for the OW in that sitch... I’m not sure how she thought it would all play out... or the husband for that matter. It’s ok to cheat but God forbid you get cheated on BACK!... the whole lot of them... IDIOTS!!

This kind of reminds me of a story I read on ChumpLady:

Dear Chump Lady,

I am probably the biggest chump of all, but here goes… I was married for 21 years and had an affair (the only one) with a married man I work with, who had been married for 17 years.

He said I’m number 8 for him. He told me about all of them — even about sleeping with his wife’s best friend (who also happens to be his best friend’s wife and neighbor). My naiveté made me believe that it was a one time thing. He told me it went on for 15 years! I can’t even begin to wrap my head around that, but I am still with him.

He also told me he went to a strip club when he was away for work for a month and picked up a stripper — also that she stayed with him the entire time he was there. We both divorced our spouses and are living together, but as you can probably guess it’s not good. I obviously don’t trust him and a lot of times can’t stop thinking about his past. It makes me want to vomit. I am terrified he will cheat on me — he said he won’t of course. AM I THE BIGGEST CHUMP OF ALL?

DB

Dear DB,

No. You’re not a chump at all. You’re the victor in the fuckwit Thunderdome. You’ve beat out the competition and won the sparkly turd, DB. No tag backs. He’s all yours.

If Chump Nation wonders why I run these OW letters (which invariably devolve into troll fests) consider them a public service announcement — this is what winning the Pick Me Dance looks like.

The obvious but nauseating realization that you’re not special? Check.

Twitchy, mind-bending hypervigilance? Check.

Living together (presumably between strippers), clinging to the facade of your shitty relationship, to prove that annihilating two families was worth it? Check.

DB, I’m sorry. You competed for this Dreamboat with the full knowledge of who he is. Regretting your decision doesn’t make you a chump.

Perhaps you think being a chump means making stupid relationship decisions. Or having the kind of piss poor self-esteem that allows a person to tolerate fuckwits. Let’s be clear on the concept. Chumps are UNKNOWING. They are duped, lied to, humiliated, used, conspired against, conned. You are none of those things. You knew exactly what you were getting — a cheater. You’re a cheater. He’s a cheater. You aren’t us. Chumps are acted UPON, they are not the actors. Chumps do not consent to be chumps. You, on the other hand, signed up for this shit.

Ergo — you are not the victim here. You’re Number 8. One idiot in a long line of idiots.

So now you’re terrified that he’ll do to you what you were complicit in doing to another? And you want MY sympathy? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Look, I’m an actual chump, so part of me feels bad ripping you to shreds for reaching out to me. You has a sadz and maybe I can help. But then I bitchslap myself, because post-infidelity Tracy has zero tolerance for your kind of malignant entitlement.

Entitlement? Yeah, the kind of chutzpah that writes “I had an affair (the only one)…” You want a bitch cookie? Tell it to the guy who lost 21 years of his life to a cheater (YOU). You’re scared shitless that Mr. Wonderful MIGHT do to you what you actually DID to your ex-husband. Meditate on that.

Or how about the entitlement that led you to fuck a married co-worker? Did you consider his chump wife? Let me guess — she didn’t Sufficiently Appreciate Him. Compelled him to fuck those strippers and her best friend, huh? She must’ve deserved it. Unlike YOU there Sparkletwat. Best of luck with all your super specialness. Hope it serves as a magic barrier against STDs.

DB, it takes some gobsmacking gall to come on a support site for chumps when you’re the OW. I’m sorry that merely thinking of being betrayed makes you “want to vomit.” (Actually betraying chumps, however, must be just tickety boo.) How hard it is to be you.

I’d hate for your visit to Chump Nation to be for naught, as you wanted advice and all, so here’s some:

Regular pap smears.

Good luck.

I do think this applies to the “I’m stuck” crowd! Go be with your soulmates!!

**Mods I’m not sure if it’s ok for me to share that, if not my apologies and please delete

Each and every WS made a choice. A conscious CHOICE to betray their spouse. They knew damn well what they were doing, the many risks involved and just didn't care. Then we are left to pick up the pieces as they furiously try to rug sweep with their suddenly spotty memories. Oh gee hon, I just can't remember the first time I fucked _____. Or where. Or why. Or how.

MBB,

Of course 10000% right!! But let’s not forget they were “manipulated” and “were in pain”... they “needed someone” “anyone” who would fill the empty “void”... ... I abhor those empty AF excuses! They knew EXACTLY what they were doing... they were scoping out the game just as the would be AP was... they don’t/didn’t care... some get it... others never will, there’s always that “BUT”.... it’s sickening

My WS is stuck too... in his own misery

That was a good vent! Right on SoulCrushed16 👏

SoulCrushed16...I never saw that writeup you posted...thanks for sharing it! WOW...just WOW . What in the HELL goes through a cheater’s mind????

I married two fairly intelligent men...I PROMISE!!! Yet I can’t fathom the idiocy they showed when they were STUCK . Then again...looking back...it is hard for me to understand how I could think the “pick me dance” was the right way to go to get my 1st M back on track. It was a hard lesson learned... but I REFUSE to go that route ever again!!!

I used to take delight in seeing my XWH’s anguish over what he lost. He deserved it after all. Now I just feel “meh”. I am thankful that I got OUT of infidelity... and I pray that all BS’s can do the same .

What a great read to go with my morning coffee!

I'm not sure which post had me laughing and cheering the hardest.

But...the prize goes to Chump Lady with "regular pap smears"

Oh gosh... I just looked up “chump lady”...that post was from yesterday !!!

I love her SO MUCH, lol.

I couldn’t agree more.

Bravo! The "stuck" mentality of waywards has always annoyed me.

((SoulCrushed16))

Sending you hugs and prayers...…….. We ALL can relate to this....

My H was so sure he wanted the OW. I said “she’s all yours”. I’m not standing g in your way.

Funny how suddenly he changed his mind very soon thereafter.

I love this thread! It’s so on point! I’ll never understand why wayward’s would rather sneak, lie, and drag their BS through their pathetic shit show lives. Why not be single and play all of the games you want? I’ll answer that myself...because they need a replacement for their mommy at home to hold down the responsibilities so they can be stupid, entitled kids!