SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello everyone.

Iam just recently divorced and the year between DDay and D, I couldn't watch any movie or show with affairs in their plot.

But now I wanna see movies that have a more real not glamourized depiction of the implications of an affair or the struggle of a broken marriage. You now with consecuences.

Ill start with some examples

The first it came to my mind is an episode of Black Mirror, "The entire history of you". I think I prefer to watch the episode of the pig and the prime minister than this one.

For me it shows exactly how the technology can help to untangle the lies of an affair. And the consecuences are just real.

It's hard to watch but I think the writers nail it.

Last year I saw Marriage Story and wow the Adam Driver's and Scarlett Johansson's performances are incredible. Although in the story Adam Driver cheats on his wife, I was very identified o related to the poor man. The scene in the apartment happened to me recently when I was trying so hard to make understand my then wife that we can overcome our situation; it's not necessary to say that it didn't work. But it's beautiful and sad how the main characters care for each other but they fail to save the marriage... Been there, done that.

Which other movies or shows do you guys have in mind?

[This message edited by RichT at 10:47 AM, November 14th (Saturday)]

"Unfaithful" with Richard Gere and Diane Lane, it shows the OM cheating on the OMW and her getting crushed by it, the passionate sex of an affair, the careless sex, then Gere kills the guy.

He’s Just Not That Into You. Bradley Cooper cheats in his wife but she tries to reconcile. She’s trying real hard with the pick me dance.

She finally realizes it’s hopeless when she finds out he’s been smoking but had been denying it to his wife.

She packs up his clothes and leaves him a note with his cigarettes. It says “I want a Diviorce”.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 5:53 AM, November 14th (Saturday)]

The first it came to my mind is an episode of Black Mirror, "The entire history of you".

Omg yes, a BS had to have written that one. That is on point.

Edit: Just rewatched that. Shit, be prepared if you haven't seen it and check that out.

[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 11:01 PM, November 13th (Friday)]

Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford and Annette Bening. Both are having affairs, he runs to the store for smokes and gets shot. He ends up in a coma, and comes out with a different personslity. Completely changes the family dynamic.

Otherwise, I try to stay away from movies with infidelity as a dynamic.

[This message edited by leafields at 10:39 PM, November 23rd (Monday)]

There is a good British film, "Man Up," that does a good job of showing the pain a BS goes through.

It's a good movie in general, but it is also honest about what cheating does to a faithful spouse.

She’s the One with Edward Burns and Jennifer Aniston.

Jennifer Aniston (Rachael) is married and wealthy. Her H is having an affair with her BIL’s ex-fiancée (Cameron Diaz). Typical signs - no sex, he’s distant etc. she’s begging for the truth and thinks he might be gay. The CH says it’s a “down cycle “ and all marriages have them. The CH finally admits he’s having an affair with the manipulative stir the pot ex-fiancée.

The betrayed wife ends up leaving him. It’s hopeless. She realizes that. When the ex-fiancée OW dumps the CH he begs his STBXW for another chance. She declines and tells him “day late and a dollar short”.

Her struggle and pain to get to the truth is obvious.

The other woman,

Cameron Diaz, Lesley Mann, Kate Upton,

I wish I had got to make my EXH at least 1 smoothie 😂

Or even gone out for 1 last ‘date’ 😂

Omg I love this movie,

It’s windy, rainy & in lockdown so I may even find it now 🍿

Survus,

"Unfaithful" with Richard Gere and Diane Lane, it shows the OM cheating on the OMW and her getting crushed by it, the passionate sex of an affair, the careless sex, then Gere kills the guy.

Thank you for the spoiler 😂

The Emma Thompson/Alan Rickman storyline in "Love Actually." Be forewarned, parts of it (as well as other subplots) can be rather triggery. But I think Thompson is brilliant in depicting a woman who is holding together a family, with a mixture of pride and self-deprecation, and discovers that her husband is throwing it all away for a predatory tart at work. The scenes of her alone in her bedroom, trying to pull herself together for a family event; the confrontation, where she tries to convey the devastation he's inflicted; and the brief concluding scene of painful limbo are deeply authentic.

Those two actors were always flawless together. I loved them in "Sense and Sensibility," too.

"Big Little Lies" has an infidelity thread, between the Reese Witherspoon character (as a cheating wife) and her husband. The story line rings true in the parts that depict the A itself, and the circumstances leading to it, and the DDay, but then it tells the post-Dday part in highly compressed shorthand, with a denouement that feels contrived, just something to wrap up the thread without adding another episode or two.

Whenever I see movie and infidelity in the same sentence for some reason my mind turns towards A Painted Veil.

that scene in Love Actually is powerful and Joni Mitchell singing BOTH SIDES NOW in her aging deeper voice

Playing throughout the scene...

Yes those 2 are great to watch...

On dday I couldn't sleep (imagine that ) and turned on the TV The Story of Us came on ...

[This message edited by hopefull77 at 8:04 AM, November 14th (Saturday)]

I remember my DDay I leaved the house and went to a hotel, I turned on the TV The Simpsons were on... The episode was the one when Marge almost cheat on Homer with a guy she met in the bowling.... In the end Marge did the right thing. What's a coincidence isn't?

[This message edited by RichT at 8:30 PM, November 14th (Saturday)]

It’s pretty old, but “A Rage to Live” is a good example of a wife cheating on a husband that didn’t deserve it. In most movies, as in life, men cheat because they are dogs, and women cheat because they are misunderstood and in most cases their husbands deserve it. This isn’t that.

It’s on you tube

I've just saw A Rage Of Love. What a despicable woman. But one can clearly see she didn't did it to be mean, she just did it just because, for pure selfishness.

I get idenfified with the husband, Sydney. You got blinded by beauty, you provide everything you could, you think you are with someone with your same principles and boundaries, but no.

Great classic movie.

[This message edited by RichT at 1:31 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

One of my most memorable moments in the last 2 years was the first time I realized that watching a Hollywood-portrayal of infidelity no longer ate away at me. Now I am just watching a story.

With all of that said, as The1stWife said mentioned, 'She's Just Not That Into You' did a fair job of portraying how I believe many affairs operate (without the clarity at the end). Cooper refused to be honest and his true colors were always present albeit viewed through the rose-colored glasses of a spouse who, although is herself flawed, wants to heal the relationship. (run-on sentences are fun aren't they? ) It ends with the BS figuring out that she waste wasting her time.

Life isn't that simple though and is far more complicated.

[This message edited by NotMyFirstRodeo at 2:30 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

NotMyFirst

I think the interesting part of the movie is the realization that if he’s going to lie about smoking, he’s going to lie about everything else. Unfortunately you’re right because we don’t think like that in real life.

What I find interesting is the dynamic between the part of the movie where they start discussing having children while he’s contemplating starting an affair.

It just goes to show you that you never really know someone’s true intentions, given the fact that we just cannot be mind readers. I think the movie accurately portrays how affairs come to happen. He’s interested at first but then tells her he can’t meet with her because he’s married. But then his curiosity gets the better of him and he agrees to meet with her under the pretense of ““work“.

Interesting movie dynamic.

I agree. It also touches on what a WS may face in terms of them giving into their weaknesses. Every single one of us have weaknesses, yes. But this one displays a WS knowing and then making a choice to ignore it/give in.

Not to get too off topic but it's the same for me. I have a weakness for a woman who shows me affection purely because my W didn't for so very long. So when a random woman began to flirt with me or show me affection in any way, I avoided her because I knew this was a weakness I had or a "chink in my armor". I didn't rationalize that "well, if my W doesn't want to be kind to me I can't see why it's a problem if I embrace another woman doing so!" I saw it as a dangerous situation that merited extreme caution.

In the movie, Cooper's character embraces it. No doubt, he rationalized his flirting internally.

[This message edited by NotMyFirstRodeo at 3:01 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

Rich, I didn’t think she was despicable. What she did certainly was. Without giving too much of the movie away, her relationships as a teenager without much parental supervision set her up for seeking men out to validate her. She definitely was not marriage material, but she did show remorse and I think was horrified by her behavior towards her BS.

He was entirely correct in his actions at the end. I found the story pretty much on both sides to be tragic.

I liked the movie as I said before as unlike most movies as in real life, the betrayed male wasn’t demonized and painted in any way as deserving of her infidelity. It’s sad that cheating wives should be “understood” and the men shoulder way too much responsibility for their wives affairs