Many on here know me…..I have avoided this site for a few months because we reconciled in Sept…I let him come home after convincing me he was doing all the work and if you remember the whole "Covid " excuse how Covid had crossed his brain barrier and caused a personality change. I bought it. He has a neurologist and this is confirmed but his story of a " summer of escorts " dday1 was not the whole truth. DDay 2 I found porn and escort sites after a business trip and threw him out . He insists it was porn only- using the escorts sites as porn. he went 90 meetings in 9- days He was a new man, a better man, we could see the changes but still I felt there was more and he continued to lie for 9 months…..I thought I was loosing my mind- I switched therapists, I went to emdr, I found a betrayal trauma coach, he went to his therapist ( lying the whole time of course) I’m in love with my husband of 26 yrs. We have 2 amazing and now devastated young adult children.
now DDay 3 I find out Feb 2025 wasn’t his sobriety day ( after begging him for the truth and consistent check-ins). I asked for a polygraph and he went dark. We have 25 hrs of conversations, good ones, about why poly would be beneficial. How I was ruminating and needed it ….I sent him a video that said a poly would show me empathy and compassion towards my healing……and then he sat down , looked me in the eyes and told me he had a stopper lap dance in 2005 while I was home with our 3/6 year olds ) , and starting in 2019 sex worker massages multiple times a year while on business trips and then 2023 escorts. In his mind " nothing happened between 2005 and 2019- my children’s childhood years when we lived abroad and I thought were so happy, but I don’t believe him, and he was for sure watching porn heavily .
How can I be so stupid? We are deeply in love for 26 yrs…..I beggged for the truth , I have lost my mind….AND he is sick. My kids are devastated. I’m horrible at filtering. I’m humiliated . I was a stay at home mom because we lived in countries where I couldn’t get a work permit…so I supported my executive husband . I have a legally binding postnup. We will be ok but it’s just the wreckage. I’ll take any advice I can get
