SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I still cannot wrap my mind around how someone that supposidly wanted to spend the rest of their lives with you would turn so evil.

Do I speak to my daughter on the way home about mom wanting me to move out, picking her up from dance now. Guessing she will lose dance next year also.

She's eleven. No.

Reassure her that you love her, that you will always love her, and you will always be there for her. Ask her if she has anything she would like to talk to you about. If she does, remember to not say anything against her mom. Answer her in an age appropriate manner.

Thanks

I know your mind is racing but try to calm down.

Your WW has put you on notice, but hasn't presented you with divorce papers/filing. She's yanking your chain, making you freak out, and possibly trying to get you to lose your shit so that THEN she can have you removed from the home. Sounds like you are playing right into her hands. Do not talk to her until you've retained a lawyer.

I thought your DD was sick. Why is she at dance? Dance classes are nice but they are a want, not a need. Don't start lamenting on what the future holds wrt that. Stay focused.

And did I read it correctly that your DS is still breastfeeding (and she's not lactating) at the age of 6?

Yes, been trying to stop it for a long time. Was always told its fine. Dont get between her and her son as she put it.

I see. Well, just remember they're your kids too and you do have a say.

I hope you're doing ok.

Dude, your posts are all about confusion and woe is me.

You are one to two steps behind her all the way and all you are doing is making excuses. First, she can't force you out unless she comes up with false DV charges.

Secondly, you lost an opportunity today to meet with attorneys. How did she know you were going there ? Did you tell her this ?

Look, all of your communication with her should be about the kids and nothing else.

Next time, just drop your kid off at school and see the attorney because your kids are about to grow up either without a Dad or a Dad who is not their dad or with a Dad in the poorhouse.

However, you need to be one step ahead, not one step behind.

Meet with the God Damn attorney this week, file for divorce next week, carry a VAR on you at all times and stop waffling because your life is on the line.

Look, I will keep drinking my mimosas on the weekend regardless of what happens to you. If you don't stand up for yourself, how can I ????

You need to be on your 'A' game starting now.

You are a few weeks out. Step to the plate already

[This message edited by Western at 8:08 PM, March 14th (Monday)]

Op,

Listen you have ignored and put off everything you have been told to do in this forum and thread.

If by tomorrow you don't see the most bull dog agressive lawyer to emergency file, you are going to be so screwed you do not even know it.

I shit you not, right now you are in a car heading towards a brick wall at 100 mph, you are sitting in the passenger seat wondering how you got there, how about you take control of the driver seat???? Yeah?

Listen, listen good, if your WW leaves the kids with you, take them with you to the attorney's office. Yeah I said it, she is very smart and is about five steps ahead of you.

Right now inaction is your worst enemy.

Please listen to the advice you have been getting . You have been set up from the get go. Time to fight back.

Hey, nohope. What's the plan for today? It should certainly include a lawyer. Please be honest and lay out the whole picture for him/her. And that would include the breastfeeding your 6 year old. While yall agreed to that before, I'd be concerned that she'd use that as a reason why DS can't spend that much time/overnights with you. Somewhere in all of this, can you take them to their pediatrician without her knowing? What about YOU initiating counseling for them?

Trying to set it ip for tomorrow.

Should i be getting them a councler now, or later?

I would research counselors today. Call their pediatrician for a referral if you have to. Get them booked asap.

Concurrently, get a lawyer asap and let them know what you have proactively been doing in the best interest of the kids. Sadly, it seems like you're going to need to PROVE you're a good father who makes his kids' welfare a priority, while trying to stay ahead of your WW.

I'm sorry but you don't have the luxury of 6-12 months before making a decision. Your WW is making the decisions for you ALL, leaving you to play catch up.

6 yrs old? Breastfeeding? WW not lactating? (How did I miss that?)

That's whack. You're going to war. I hope that little detail finds its way to the eventual judge. Child abuse?

Agree, CanoeVA. That's exactly why I suggested getting the kids to a counselor. Everyone has their reasons and I can respect that but 6 years seems to be bit long for breastfeeding non-lactating. I breastfed all 4 of mine until they started cutting teeth. Then I pumped and supplemented until 1 year whereby they were fully weaned and had been started on table food.

He's potty trained, has a full set of teeth, eats solid food, goes to school, and comes home to latch onto the breast? No, sir. I think this is more for WW than DS.

Your plan for today is to meet with a lawyer and file ASAP, you have no choice.

Call the pediatrician and find out about counseling.

6 yrs old? Breastfeeding? WW not lactating? (How did I miss that?)

That's whack. You're going to war. I hope that little detail finds its way to the eventual judge.

Isn't 6 years old kindergarten or 1st grade? That in a way speaks volumes about your wife and this is going to get nasty, you must have a lawyer.

nohope -

I hope you are doing well today.

Just wanted to echo the choruses imploring you to take some action. You are reeling from the shock of the change in your wife. As others have said, she is no longer the woman you thought you knew. It's a mind fuck to be sure. So compartmentalize.

Put aside your thoughts and emotion. The "How can she do this to me?" kind of thinking. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, you absolutely MUST protect yourself and your kids. That's right, your kids. Because she's not stable and she will get full custody if she has her way.

So action for you. Do. Do. Do.

Call an attorney asap. Carry a VAR (you should have been doing this already). Do not engage with your wife at all. Do not leave the house.

There will be cops at your door because your wife will claim that you threatened her and she is fearful for her life. That's why the VAR is important. As is retaining an attorney.

The advantage you have is that she's already told you she's going to do all this. So no surprises from her. You know what's about to happen and every moment you delay is another nail in your coffin. Don't let that happen!

Now get to it.

Very pragmatic and compassionate posts by Craig and Walloped.

^^^^^

I agree and hope he listens.

The kids are too you to have any opinion. That is just your WW using them against you.

Typical response should be " I'm sorry you feel that way".

M=Now document everything she says. Put a VAR in your pocket to protect yourself.

And a "real" man protects his kids and his interests as best he can when a wayward spouse is out of control.

Now go see that lawyer for a consultation.

Not the one your wife went to.....

HM

GET A LAWYER

DO NOT LEAVE THAT FUCKING HOUSE

VAR AT ALL TIMES

GET A LAWYER

DO NOT LEAVE THAT FUCKING HOUSE

VAR AT ALL TIMES

GET A LAWYER

DO NOT LEAVE THAT FUCKING HOUSE

VAR AT ALL TIMES

GET A LAWYER

DO NOT LEAVE THAT FUCKING HOUSE

VAR AT ALL TIMES