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MYOC&ME-I'll also politely ask you not to join us here. There is way too much anger expressed about OWs on this thread. I'm not sure you could find any support from anyone here.

Why would you want to join us here? Especially on your first post!

I understand.

Scorpio, I am not married, my issue is that of an OC. I get that I am on the opposite side of the coin. I didnt desire to throw salt.

I am sorry for the situation that I find myself in as I am the situation you are in.

I am sure that I am noone's OW here and am far past my anger.

At some point you must start to understand the otherside of it. I'm interested in that so I will just lurk without response.

myoc, to save you more pain, go out to the main forum page and check your PMs.

"At some point you must start to understand the otherside of it. I'm interested in that so I will just lurk without response"

OW, the last place to get on a soapbox is here.

There is no reason to flame this person. You all requested she not post on this thread and she is respecting that.

DS

But how can you understand what we are going through unless you have acted as so many of our OW's are acting. With all the negativity here, why would you want to put yourself in the hot seat?

Again...she is respecting to NOT post on this thread, please don't ask her questions and then get upset because she's answered them.

DS

My WS has no contact with oc (8 mos.)or OW (age 27). I don't care about them. It wasn't mean't for the oc to be here. If so, then committing adultery is a godly thing to do. What was and is mean't that my husband honor and commit to his marriage like he promised he would. My husband married me 2x. First time in a court room, second time, 10 years later in church. I didn't force him to do it. I don't have to care about the OC. I got a child (age 12) of my own, who is growing into a young man that needs our attention. The OW got pregnant on purpose, she is studying to be a nurse. She knows how to not get pregnant. She chose, she made a decision to raise a child who will not have this father. I don't share my man, not with other woman and not with their children. I am holding my husband to his committment to honor is marriage. The OW thinks that she is equal to me and her oc is equal to my child.

[This message edited by icando at 12:06 AM, August 27th (Sunday)]

icando--good for you for doing what you have to through the legal system. H and I wanted to do the same thing, but court here would have frowned upon it, so our attny advised us not to. Instead we pushed for a negotiated settlement. If OW or we move, agreement works in our favor, as other places are less stringent.

Deeply Scared--thanks for handling the OW/OC poster. This is certainly not the place for her. IMO, her being here and the comment about us seeing her side of the things would have caused a very volatile situation. Appreciate your stepping in.

"IMO, her being here and the comment about us seeing her side of the things would have caused a very volatile situation"

Amen to that!

icando, to some of these OW's having an A to them is like being married. They get so caught up in it that the believe their relationship takes precedence over any legal and binding committment. As if their OC is more important than any other children they may have. But in the eyes of the law, they are only entitled to CS.

I think MYOC&ME's point was that she was going to lurk to learn how your side felt. I don't think she was implying you should understand hers. If you read her story, you'll see that the WH in the situation carried on with her for 5 yrs before she found out he was married. For all intents and purposes, and in the public eye, they (OW & MM) appeared to have a relationship - one that resulted in a child. The day she found out he was married, she left him.

When will BS's learn to place proper blame on the WS's as well as the OP? In this instance, this woman was as deceived as was the BS. Visit Wayward and read her story - you'll be surprised to find that it sounds a lot like most of yours.

Already read her story and profile.

Still not interested in hearing any more from her or any other OW. I have enough sh_t on my plate for now, thank you very much.

I have read her story there and posted. But her first post was here and there was no background information at all.

I can certainly understand the position that she was in. She was deceived for a long time like most BS' are.

Maybe it would have been best had she posted first to Wayward and let people get to know her story and then find her way over here.

Is it me, or does anyone else in here take exception to a BS being referred to as "stepmom" by OW?

"stepmother" defined in Webster's Dictionary states:

the wife of one's father by a subsequent *marriage*.

Since the "father" was already married at the time, and there was never any marriage between an OW and a WH isn't that a bit of a stretch linguistically?

Personally, I don't consider myself to be anyone's "stepmom", and take exception to being labeled as one (OW referred to me as the "evil stepmother" in one of her nasty emails).

I also don't consider my kids to have any half siblings either, with or without the DNA evidence.

(Wishful thinking on OW's part.)

And now, back to our regular programming.....

Funny, in our situation, the OW is absolutely freaked by the idea of me being a stepmom--that would mean that I would have some right to care for, hold, etc. HER baby and it upsets her to no end. Different perspective!!

I think in the circumstances I have, I will call myself stepmom--child is an infant, and if we are able to have contact (despite a crazy OW), it will be a convenient way for a kid to identify the relationship, be able to call me by name, etc. What other name for the relationship is there?

I think it depends on the age of the child and when the OC's existence is revealed and whether there is contact or not. With an older OC I just met, I also wouldn't like to be thought of as stepmom!

The half-sibling stuff isn't just linguistic though, but a reality.These situations are just so hurtful to everyone that thinking of some of these things are just too much.

Bad club to belong to.

We will have NC with OW and OC, unless she dies while the OC is a minor. My child knows and I told him that OC is Not a sister, half or whole to him. I also told him he doesn't have to acknowledge her and my son wants nothing to do with OW or OC. He has experienced the pain that she causes, when he answered the phone and OW was on the phone ranting at me. I also told him that everything that belongs to his father is his someday, and he is not to share it with OC. I don't want him sharing it with OC, because that would be sharing it with her mother. I will not have that!

[This message edited by icando at 12:42 PM, April 30th (Sunday)]

My H or me or my adult children have choose not too have anything too do with O/C who was born last xmas day,there may come a day when she wants child support we will have to wait and see,she is a women who has had 4 kids with different dads so she has done this before,i need too start our lives again apart from me this has killed my children.