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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 11:06 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
There is no sense to be made.
You're right
A quick question
As an- f-ing social worker do this to your family? you see broken kids all the time. And THIS is what you do to your family?
Do you know why she chose this field of work? It seems(anecdotally) a high percentage of people in this profession have something in their past they are trying to *fix*.
Again, I'm sorry brother
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
fight2bfree ( member #50727) posted at 11:10 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
I'm very sorry to hear this Minnesota.
This sucks big time. (And much other stronger language I won't post)
I really really really wish you as much peace as you can get at a time like this. I'm very very sorry. I've been following your posts (and mostly lurking) and find you quite relatable.
If I could give you the strength I have left I would many times over.
"Prisoner on the loose, description: A spitting image of me, except for the heart shaped hole where the hope runs out..." - Queens Of The Stoneage
Walloped ( member #48852) posted at 11:16 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
but how do you make sense of this? You don't. There is no sense to be made.
Yes! Yes! And Yes! There absolutely isn't. And that's what makes it such a mindfuck. And I am so sorry you have to go through this - that she is putting you through this.
But as you now know, there is no sense to it at all. Took me a long time to figure that out. I kept trying to wrap my head around it and couldn't. Still haven't. Don't think I ever will.
It is senseless. And hurtful. And unfair. And had absolutely nothing to do with you.
You will be okay, MN. It may not seem like it now, but you will be.
Please take care of yourself and your 3 year old.
Please.
Strength.
-W
Me: BH 47
Her: WW 46
DDay 8/3/15
"Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.” - The Doctor
whodidimarry ( member #47546) posted at 11:22 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:30 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
My heart is breaking for you 
...I'm so sorry this is happening to you (((HUGS))).
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:31 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
Oh I get the profession not matching the actions. My H had his A with a Divorce Attorney if a mutual friend. He was unhappy and was considering a D. He had questions. She fucked with his head and then him. Oh have I mentioned he was number 3. Yah the 3 A she had. God only knows how many more she had.
People get screwed up. It's the ones that realize it and change things that become people of honor. Not those who continue to do the same thing over and over.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
SilverEagle ( member #47380) posted at 11:32 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
Minnesota-
Sincerely here:
No advice.
No 2x4's.
God, this really, really sucks.
Sending you support.
Sending you a BroHug. <<Minnesota>>
And sending you Strength. And Peace. In this most difficult of times for you. I can only imagine.
We ALL have your back here. Just look at the phenomenal number of fellow BS's have replied to you. We may not have experienced your unique style of betrayal... but we get it. We really, really do.
-SilverEagle
Me:58 fBH
fWW:56
Married 24 years,LTA EA/PA
DDay:3/11/15
In R... but...
"Amidst the chaos and pains of Life, amazing joys can emerge that jolt us from the myopia of our struggles." Husburned
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:56 PM on Thursday, January 28th, 2016
Just don't know what to say, Minnesota. Don't have words that can provide enough comfort and support. I just feel for you. I wish I had some magic I could use but I don't. Strength. So awful.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
beautifulM33 ( member #51261) posted at 12:09 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
Strength and hugs. So sorry Minnesota. My heart just aches for you.
(((((Minnesota)))))
Crushed7 ( member #41129) posted at 12:40 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
How about changing your situation and username? "Hawaii" might be good.
Hopefully that evokes a small smile. Sending strength.
Me-BH
Her-WW
Last DDay-2012 (several month EA/PA)
Married 30+ years
tooclose ( member #44327) posted at 12:51 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
I have no words to even express how I felt when reading your story, I can't even imagine how you must feel. Sending you strength today <3
[This message edited by tooclose at 6:52 PM, January 28th (Thursday)]
fWF (him): 28
BF (Me): 26
Unmarried, together 8 yrs.
True DDay: Sept 2015
Started R: Nov 2015
In a gentle way, you can shake the world
Crushed15Feb13 ( member #38846) posted at 1:51 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
Oh man, Minnesota.
I'm so sorry. Strength to you.
Me: BH, 56
Her: WW, 56 5+ yr LTA
Married 34 yrs, 2 DS
DDay #1: 15Feb13 - OBS phone call
DDay #2: 27Jan14 - TT, length of affair 1.5 yrs longer than admitted.
Trying to understand
excruciatinghurt ( new member #51400) posted at 1:52 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
I just wanted to tell you I'm so terribly heartbroken for you, it absolutely sucks...if you read my first post from last week you will see I went through the same thing last month. I have no advice to give you even if you had asked for it. There's no way to describe the pain of thinking it's over and trying to heal just to have the next one thrown in your face instead. my heart is broken for you as well and I'm so sorry I send you faith and strength and hugs and prayers and I hope you heal soon and get the answers you need. Please take care of yourself and your son and know you are not alone.
Western ( member #46653) posted at 2:15 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
this isn't advice and it's not a 2x4. I will respect your wishes there. I have 2 simple questions.
What are your objectives regarding R and what is your line in the sand ?
Ginny ( member #43196) posted at 2:55 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R
SadInIllinois ( member #49107) posted at 3:01 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
My heart breaks for you. Nothing more can be said because it won't take the hurt away. I am so very, very sorry.
Questioningall ( member #43959) posted at 3:15 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
How horrid! It hurts beyond belief. I'm so sorry you're going through it.
Me-BS 57
Him-WS 57 Sorrowfulmate
Married 30 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
Bonsai ( member #51178) posted at 4:08 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
Im so sorry Minnesota. Speachless. Massive hugs bro.
WS:48, WW:47
Married 19..Together 29
DD:6.25.2015
Walloped ( member #48852) posted at 5:10 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
MN,
Thinking of you.
You've just taken a sucker punch to the solar plexus. It knocked you down. So, take some time. Then collect yourself.
When you're ready, get back up, dust yourself off, and please start a new thread so we can help you develop an action plan to deal with your wife. To help you move forward.
You know what you're dealing with now.
We're here for you.
Me: BH 47
Her: WW 46
DDay 8/3/15
"Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.” - The Doctor
NiceGuySF ( member #50244) posted at 7:17 AM on Friday, January 29th, 2016
I'm been reading your posts as well, Minnesota. It sucks and you've been heard and have our support.
There's no reason or logic to be found in trying to understand why she's doing what she's doing. You can't wrap your head around it or get it out of her...
Me%3A%20BH%20(mid%20forties)%2C%20single%20dad%20of%20an%20awesome%20son%20(8)%0ADDay%3A%20October%202015%0ADivorced%20from%20xWW%0A%0A
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