TOC, so how'd the talk with your boss go?
WRT you and an IC, your company probably has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). While they do differ, mine offers 6 free IC visits (from a list of ICs on the plan, big list) per different incident per year, with health insurance / copays, etc., kicking in after the 6 free visits are gone. It also offers free phone-based calls whenever you need, so you get a somewhat random IC who has access to the ongoing notes in your file. I called several times in the middle of the night, early days. My longest call was about 1.5 hours, my shortest about 30 minutes, just a check-in call really. I had them in my cell phone directory and would just call when it all got overwhelming. I think Skype was an option, too.
I thank you for the feedback you've given on our advice to you so far. It does help each of us to tune our advice just a bit when we see what is working for people in different situations.
Personally, I told everyone that would listen. I was completely crushed. I just blurted it all out, at work, at the corner convenience store, to cabbies, basically if anybody asked, "How are you today?" they got a 5 minute short version of my fiancee leaving me for swingers. An interesting trade, they got a story to tell and I got compassion. I do not regret any of those trades.
At work there are always those that will take anything that you say and speculate. My personal philosophy is to counter that with making myself boring by sharing. No, those people aren't my friends, but if they know that I come home, scrape up something to eat or go grab something, then sit and read well, that doesn't make for a lot of mystery in intrigue for their speculations.
Plus, I'm not going to change one whit to avoid that "gossip". So what? If they haven't anything better to do than speculate about _me_, well, they've got a pretty sad, empty life themselves, eh? Spread that philosophy around a little, indirectly, and pretty soon you're not that fun to speculate about. Or, call their bullshit with bigger, clearly fantastic, bullshit.
"What do you think about Bob? Do you think that he has a secret?"
"Sure he does, each night when he goes home he gets a scrambled phone call from the CIA on a special phone in the heel of his shoe, just like in Get Smart. Then he gathers evidence against local drug dealers, trying to trace connections back to Colombia. After he does his part the CIA calls in the Enforcers! I wish that _I_ could be more like Bob, don't you? Gosh, whatta guy."
-or-
"Yeah, no. Bob's got no secrets. He's just a guy trying to live life, just like you and I. He does do some pretty fun stuff, though, to have a full life. He volunteers, he's in a small band, and he skydives. Much better than just sitting around, sad at home, eh? Hey, what do you think about those around the office that talk about others? I know _you_ don't, but that's really pretty sad and pathetic, isn't it? Those folks really need something to do. Sad, really..."
EDITED to add
Hey, today is the 2nd antiversary of her walkout. Yay, me! My blood pressure is down 20-30 points systolic and diastolic, my bank account is up, and I don't go around as much feeling like a loser. At least I'm sleeping through the night again, mostly. 
[This message edited by devotedman at 6:23 AM, October 13th, 2016 (Thursday)]
