SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Standingstill,

Before I got pregnant with my oldest DD and then again while pregnant I was fully tested for everything. I was good both times. (this was before stbxwh and I were together)

After stbx and I were together, when I was pregnant with second DD, I had the tests again (just routine) I had Chlamydia. I had been with only stbx for over 2 years, and he supposedly had been std free and only with me. hmmm.

If the above is correct, the below cannot be true:

Both times, 2 different male doctors told me I could have had it for years and it was just now showing up. Of course I chose to believe them. Now I wonder just how many times I was played for the fool in my marriage.

or am I confused? If you were Chlamydia free before being with WH, and then got it after being with him, then he HAD to be the one to give it to you? True?

For everyone's info:

CDC says about chlamydia:

CDC recommends yearly chlamydia testing of all sexually active women age 25 or younger, older women with risk factors for chlamydial infections (those who have a new sex partner or multiple sex partners), and all pregnant women. An appropriate sexual risk assessment by a health care provider should always be conducted and may indicate more frequent screening for some women.

Any genital symptoms such as an unusual sore, discharge with odor, burning during urination, or bleeding between menstrual cycles could mean an STD infection. If a woman has any of these symptoms, she should stop having sex and consult a health care provider immediately. Treating STDs early can prevent PID. Women who are told they have an STD and are treated for it should notify all of their recent sex partners (sex partners within the preceding 60 days) so they can see a health care provider and be evaluated for STDs. Sexual activity should not resume until all sex partners have been examined and, if necessary, treated.

Why is it SO HARD for me to make this stupid phone call, just to make the appointment?! Part of me really doesn't want to know...

I know I need to, but I shouldn't have to do this. I didn't cause this. I am frustrated, staring at the referral and can't dial the stupid number.

Part of the reason for being married is so that you don't have to deal with this crap...I don't want to call...

Overcoming2003,

Sending you good vibes. You'll feel so much better once you make the call, you'll be taking control, and that will empower you.

Peace.

Ppga

Thanks PPGA,

I am new to the area. Therefore I had to go through the process of finding someone before I could make the appointment. I finally called and I hate people at the front desk, they are so nosy!

On a separate note, during my quest to find a doctor, I did something that I have never had to do before...I REQUESTED A FEMALE

If you have already read my story, you will understand why...

Wow, overcoming, that is awful...that doctor should be reported...his behavior is WRONG!

PPGA, I was wrong too...

What is PISD?

Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

Group B strep. Not usually sexually transmitted, but it can be and my OB was confident it was in my case (9th pregnancy and suddenly I have it? one week after WH and "his boss" took the day off to "go fishing" together?)

Anyway, it gave me a serious bladder and uterine infection for 6 months of my pregnancy (pregnant on Dday) and my baby is disabled and appears to have CP -- one risk factor for that is having an infection while pregnant.

Ok. Don't feel sorry for me (I know you won't) point of sharing is this: public service announcement for anyone who might read this and think twice before putting a pregnant woman (and therefore an innocent child!) at risk.

#1 cause of mouth/throat cancer is HPV ... just saw this on the news ... it is like 64% of cancer cases of the mouth/throat region is caused by oral sex and contracting HPV this way ...

here is link ...

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20035363-10391704.html

(((hugs)))

FYI this is informational ... I have been tested and am ok so far ... I will continue being tested yearly since it can lay dormant for awhile ...

I also know my Xh's background in HS and that of the OW from her HS days ... (long story see profile) ... but they were less than flattering ...

[This message edited by booger bear at 11:51 AM, February 24th (Thursday)]

So. Just got done with the tests. Anxiety really built up waiting for the Dr. In all that, I forgot to ask how long to get the results.

WW didn't even remember I was getting it done today.

Needless to say she didn't even say she was sorry or ask if I was ok.

I think she believes that I really didn't need to have an STD test done. Because we all know how trustworthy she and OM are.

[This message edited by victory at 5:43 PM, February 24th (Thursday)]

I have high risk HPV. Over the past 5 years I've had multiple biopsies, colposcopies, LEEPS and finally a hysterectomy. I just had my first post-op pap and am anxiously awaiting a smiley face post card! Two clean paps 6 mos apart and I can go back to having them once a year instead of every 3 mos.

As far as I know, there is no test for HPV other than visual inspection for genital warts/and/or biopsy if warts are found to confirm the presence of HPV. So, if there are NO warts present, there will be nothing to test...as far as I know...someone hopefully will come along with more info on this.

HPV can be added to your pap test, best not to wait until you have symptoms before getting tested (I had no symptoms).

You know, this whole thread has me wondering if something was missed with me when I went to get tested.

After a few hysterical bonding moments shortly after D-Day, I went to the Dr to talk about getting tested. All she did was a regular pap/pelvic exam (not sure if a blood test would have caught anything other than HIV?). Unfortunately, I have an incurable STD but I had already contracted that from WH before the A started (long story).

Anyway, I would say within a 3-6 month period after D-Day, I kept getting what I thought were yeast infections, but when I went to the Dr, she said it didn't look like a typical yeast infection because it was just 'very red'. Any thoughts as to what it might have been then?

[This message edited by ams02 at 7:39 PM, February 24th (Thursday)]

A pap smear IS a screening for HPV which can cause cervical cancer.

It's only recently that there has been educational market that has explained to women that HPV is a cause for cervical cancer. I believe that is due to the drug companies coming up with vaccines for some of the cancer causing strains of HPV.

I don't know about other women but growing up it was just something women needed to do. The reason/ cause for it was never explained.

A pap smear IS a screening for HPV which can cause cervical cancer.

It's only recently that there has been educational market that has explained to women that HPV is a cause for cervical cancer. I believe that is due to the drug companies coming up with vaccines for some of the cancer causing strains of HPV.

I don't know about other women but growing up it was just something women needed to do. The reason/ cause for it was never explained.

A pap smear does not tell you whether or not you have HPV. A pap smear screens for dysplastic cells (these can be caused by HPV).

It was not known what caused cervical cancer, there was only screening for it. Now they can test women for HPV (there is no test for men) but sometimes you need to specifically ask for the test, not all doctors are doing routine HPV testing.

Ah, I didn't even know they could finally check for the HPV virus which is fantastic but why isn't that information more widely known - seems pretty important to me.

Which begs the question: why don't they immediately screen for HPV if the test is available and accurate? If the Pap screens for potential cancer wouldn't it be more preventative to screen for the HPV virus rather than just the cancer?

Why can't they just automatically screen for HPV when doing a pap? Why should a woman have to ask to have it done? If she screens negative then she could get a vaccine and have protection.

Why the heck didn't my doctors (I've had 3 ob/gyns in the last 5 years) ever say it was even available? Now that really bothers me.

Sorry, a bit of a tangent there.

[This message edited by Chunk at 3:04 AM, February 25th (Friday)]

I just had a check up yesterday. Blood tests and what not.

I've only had one partner for the past 17 years.

Thankfully we used condoms as well not to mention because I am very fertile. Like, First egg and first sperm fertile each time.

So I wasn't *so* worried at the time of the Ddays. But now that I'm seeing someone, I needed to get it checked out.

I've been swithering or months about going to get myself tested. XWH got tested three days after D-day - at my insistence - and everything was negative but he doesn't actually know what he was tested for

He insists that condoms were used every time - except when he received oral sex. My research tells me that the risk of transmission of anything from female to male is low - but all the same, I'll be happier to have that clinically confirmed.

And I won't be going to the grotty GUM clinic he attended. Lots of these clinics in the UK are very good - but he had to step over drug addicts on the way into the one he attended. I don't care to be seen going into such a place so will have to go somewhere else.

It didn't occur to him that because of his behaviour, in effect, he's had sex with each and every person that each of those four chinese bar whores ever had sex with - and then he came home and had unprotected sex with me

At least the fifth one, who was an outcall massage worker, had the sense to put a condom on him before she went near him.

I'm now feeling really stupid that I haven't been for those tests sooner.

Thank you for this thread - it's given me a kick up the arse.

Which begs the question: why don't they immediately screen for HPV if the test is available and accurate? If the Pap screens for potential cancer wouldn't it be more preventative to screen for the HPV virus rather than just the cancer?

It is entirely possible to be exposed to several strains during the course of your life, so it is likewise possible to test positive to more than one type of HPV. Obviously, the earlier a woman begins having sex and the greater number of male sexual partners she has in her lifetime, the greater the risk of contracting various strains of the HPV virus. The challenge with testing, and with developing a course for treatment, is that high–risk strains need to be dealt with differently from low–risk strains. So let’s talk about prevention.

I found out I had it after the first pap after finding out about his affair. My pap showed mild dysplasia consistent with HPV cell changes. Further testing showed I had high risk strain of HPV. Pap 3 mos. later showed moderate dysplasia. Each time I'd have a procedure the doctor would say "this should cause your body to kick the virus", it never happened....abnormal cells had taken over by the next pap. After 5 years of hacking away at my cervix, it was recommended I have a hysterectomy because I now had severe dysplasia.

Minimize stress.

Stress can wreak havoc on your immune system — so mastering coping strategies to deal with life’s challenges is a must for everyone living a busy, demanding life. Anecdotally, some physicians note more abnormal Paps toward the end of the year, perhaps due to holiday stress. Addressing emotional issues is likewise important. The female reproductive tract is strongly linked to second-chakra issues that begin in childhood and build throughout adulthood. Here again we simply cannot separate our biography from our biology. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and the Quadrinity Process are two excellent resources we recommend to our patients for emotional work. For many women, even visualizing and nurturing the thought of a healthy pink and normal cervix is a very positive and relaxing meditative process to promote healing

I tried this approach, but worrying about pap while dealing with the fall out of A, a daughter who is falling apart and hashing out details in a divorce was anything but stress-free! I cannot think of a more stressful time in my life. I wonder if my stress level impacted the ability of my immune system to fight the virus.

[This message edited by lucie at 6:03 AM, February 25th (Friday)]

At the time, I had just turned 44 years old, mother of 5, grandmother of one, and a newly infected Genital Herpes patient due to FWH's ONS. Condoms protect against little, if anything. Certainly NOT Herpes in any way, shape or form.