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I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

The part that I don’t get is why she is angry all of a sudden? She should be happy that I’m out of her presence. Not smothering her. She should be happy right? I should be mad and angry that she refuses to leave the house and I have to look at her face. But right now I have no anger. I’m happy about that. My path send clear now.

The part that I don’t get is why she is angry all of a sudden? She should be happy that I’m out of her presence. Not smothering her. She should be happy right? I should be mad and angry that she refuses to leave the house and I have to look at her face. But right now I have no anger. I’m happy about that. My path send clear now.

The part that I don’t get is why she is angry all of a sudden? She should be happy that I’m out of her presence. Not smothering her. She should be happy right? I should be mad and angry that she refuses to leave the house and I have to look at her face. But right now I have no anger. I’m happy about that. My path send clear now.

When you stop feeding a cake eater they don’t like it. She thought she had the best of both worlds now you’ve taken that away.

In her mind you are lucky to have her.

It’s impossible to rationalize the irrational.

Stay NC it’s your only good path out of this.

Duplicate

[This message edited by Marz at 3:49 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]

Rynoz I’ve read through and I’m so sorry you’re here dealing with this.

Firstly cake eating affairs like this are all about all the ego kibbles that the cheater can get. She had an overload. Loads from her AP and a whole heap from you as you did the ‘pick me’ dance (we’ve ALL been there, we all know that the initial shock leads to this tango). You’ve now withdrawn them, her supply has halved and she doesn’t like it. Keep up the 180 and show her you’ll not be part of her ridiculous plan moving forward. There is no room for a boyfriend in this marriage.

As for finding out about the AP, social media may help, they often have them on Facebook/Instagram whatever, phone records may give you more info, is it a work colleague? Company staff pages on the internet. I’m not particularly au fait with technology but other will be along talking about VARS and apps you can put on her mobile etc. The fact that she’s keeping this guy such a secret indicates to me he is in a committed relationship. Fact is she’s prepared to be his bit on the side, and to string you along, thats broken right there.

The only problem with the AP as far as finding info on social media is he has no presence at all on social media. That makes things s little tougher.

The part that I don’t get is why she is angry all of a sudden?

Did you think why she decided to tell you? She may have been trying to get POS committed to her for some time and decided he is not going to do it. So she told you and in her foggy mind she still want to have some fun while telling you she is committed to the marriage(may be she also think she is the price). May be you have been the yes spouse in your marriage and she thought she can get you agreed to any conditions she lays down.

It works for few weeks because you acted the way she want you to act. Now you have changed and ready even to end the marriage if she continue to behave like this and she cannot accept that.

If she become mellow in face of your new attitude you can tactfully trick her to give information on POS if you say such infor is necessary to R. If she is really keen on R she should give such information without much hesitation

[This message edited by goalong at 7:16 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]

Rynoz, you’re a champ, man. You are seeing through her bullshit like a veteran. Review what you posted tonight. Remember us posting that she will have a tonal shift of her own, very soon? It’s just starting. Note how different she is acting now that the balance of power has shifted even a little bit. She went from “ aww, let’s be reasonable about me fucking another guy” to “how dare you investigate a threat to this marriage” at the drop of a dime.

Great work asserting yourself with the 180. WS types find it unsettling because it provides them with almost no triggers to continue the emotional abuse with. Keep up the great work.

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions

Not everyone can afford a PI. Most people can afford things like GPS trackers, VARs, phone crackers and even simple reverse lookup services on the web.

What kind of information are you looking for? If you have his name, that opens up a lot of options.

Why does the cheater get angry?

One of the reasons they become angry is because they are no longer in control of the situation. Think about it, for however long the affair has been going on, they have had the best of both worlds in their mind. They believe that they have gotten away with having an affair while still having their marriage Or relationship intact. They have not had any impact to their day-to-day routine which they rely upon to have the affair continue to work in their favor.

Another reason they become angry it because you are trying to get answers to questions they don’t want to answer. Rather than admitting their guilt or shame, they choose to deflect by becoming angry at the accuser.

The third reason for their anger is there afraid they are now going to be left out in the cold with no spouse or affair partner. They may have to actually fend for themselves! Financially they may be looking at a hit and their ability to spend freely however they wish.

If the marriage or the relationship has had an imbalance in power over the years, the cheater may become angry because they fear they are losing their power in the relationship. Basically, it’s a control thing.

King of nothing, I was told not confirmed that his woman lives in a separate place from him. I don’t have her name. I got his info online.

The1stwife. I agree with all of your points. She did not feel in control and felt uncomfortable I believe. At this point she can’t calculate exactly what I’m going to do or even how much info I have on the AP. I think 1 and 3 are on point heavy on 3.

[This message edited by rynoz at 10:31 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]

Rynoz,

First, congratulations for your quick exit from fear and paralysis and denial. That aspect is going to make your journey out of this shitstorm much less painful in the long run.

If she works in a law firm, its obvious she probably knows her rights. And as others have said, your actions have made it pretty clear that she is not going to have a boyfriend and a husband at all no less a year.

She is not in control any more and that was not the plan. And my guess is she has read something somewhere about polyamory as this shit is all over everything women read these days. Its the new enlightened pathway to happiness and they discover they can cake eat.

Unfortunately you threw a monkey wrench in the plan. You were supposed to do anything she wanted to keep her.

And the fact that she is pissed off that you didn't roll over and actually found some information also encroaches on her entitlement.

Her wanting to still go to dinner like nothing has happened makes her non R material in my opinion.

You know what you have to do. Stay the course.

I would love to inform her for any reason. I am hitting a stumbling block trying to find her info. I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars to a pi to figure that out. Also didn’t make sense if I’m showing up in his neighborhood looking around. Any suggestions!

I've found all the information of all kinds of "associates" of people through beenverifieddotcom.

You can get a 5-day trial membership for a couple of bucks.

If you can get her name or any other information these search engines do a decent job for free

fastpeoplesearchdotcom

Not everyone can afford a PI. Most people can afford things like GPS trackers, VARs, phone crackers and even simple reverse lookup services on the web.

What kind of information are you looking for? If you have his name, that opens up a lot of options.

truepeoplesearchdotcom