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Std train...all aboard!

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 5:58 PM on Friday, February 25th, 2011

Thanks Lucien for the excellent clarification about HPV...

Staggered,

Thank you for this thread - it's given me a kick up the arse.

Haha! You are welcome!

Pearl,

So I wasn't *so* worried at the time of the Ddays. But now that I'm seeing someone, I needed to get it checked out.

yep, better safe than sorry!

Devastatedx5,

and a newly infected Genital Herpes patient due to FWH's ONS.

Supposedly my FWH's fuck up was an ONS...but, Im having a very difficult time believing that he could contract an STD in just ONE indiscretion. Are you having these same kinds of doubts?


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5099345
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Devestatedx5 ( member #16557) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, February 25th, 2011

Supposedly my FWH's fuck up was an ONS...but, I'm having a very difficult time believing that he could contract an STD in just ONE indiscretion. Are you having these same kinds of doubts?

Absolutely none - now. (But I had thousands of doubts shortly after Dday!)

His ONS was just that - ONE TIME in our marriage. And of that, I'm certain. But even ONE TIME, WITH CONDOMS (and yes, I believe they were used) resulted in HIM getting HSV-2, which eventually I got about 6 months later. It was a risk I was willing to take staying in our marriage and fighting for its survival.

Remember, folks, Herpes can be spread (and caught) even WITH proper condom usage - ANY area covered by shorts - front AND back - can harbor the virus; and last time I checked the "personal care" item at the grocery store, condoms still only cover a very small amount of turf.

FBS-me (49)
FWH(57) ONS 8.19.07
Dday: 9.19.07
Married +26 years
RE-MARRIED 4.28.11
----------
Proverbs 31:10-31
Sometimes people are SO open-minded that that their brains fall out.

posts: 2598   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2007
id 5099448
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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 4:00 PM on Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Remember, folks, Herpes can be spread (and caught) even WITH proper condom usage - ANY area covered by shorts - front AND back - can harbor the virus; and last time I checked the "personal care" item at the grocery store, condoms still only cover a very small amount of turf.

Thanks Devastated! And...same thing goes for HPV:Courtesy of New York Dept. Of Health....

Remember that use of condoms may prevent the virus from coming in contact with susceptible skin areas. However, since HPV can infect the scrotum and vulva, transmission can occur outside condom-covered areas


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5102626
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InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 5:00 PM on Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Guys can use condoms, start to put them on and then say wooops wrong way, turn the condom around after contact with penis juices and put on the other way. Therefore fresh fluids on outside of condom. Condoms reduce risk but this is one of the ways they are not foolproof.

My insurance doesn't cover lab testing. Testing is expensive. I've had a few tests done but not all. All negative. No symptoms. Knock on wood.

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 5102715
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Chunk ( member #8189) posted at 5:17 PM on Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Lucie, that only made me feel more frustrated...lol. So you can ask for the test but it may not be accurate b/c the virus can lay dormant and undetectable by a test...OMG!

It also depends on where you get your information because the sources all seem to have variations on what is the gold standard.

Okay, the reality is, we have a pap because the HPV virus causes cancer. We had paps before we realized that HPV was the cause of cervical cancer.

This is so unbelievably frustrating.

posts: 2772   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2005
id 5102740
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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 6:30 PM on Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Inner light,

Guys can use condoms, start to put them on and then say wooops wrong way, turn the condom around after contact with penis juices and put on the other way. Therefore fresh fluids on outside of condom. Condoms reduce risk but this is one of the ways they are not foolproof.

This is so so true, and something most people never think about. Thanks for the insight.


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5102850
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overcoming2003 ( member #30862) posted at 6:11 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

I DID IT!!! I went and got tested and specifically asked for an HIV test and Herpes test.

The doctor (FEMALE) said that because I have had normal exams in the past that I do not need to do anything about HPV. If the results come back as abnormal (pap smear) then they automatically test for HPV, but not necessary at this point.

I have to wait a week for the results though...

It was a good environment. They were supportive and not judgmental. They said that they have so many patients who won't get certain tests or come in because they are embarrassed.

The doctor's biggest concern is that people do what we all are doing here, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND GET TESTED. That's what is important.

Thanks for the support and thanks for the thread.

[This message edited by overcoming2003 at 12:11 PM, February 28th (Monday)]

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 5104437
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victory ( member #31088) posted at 6:29 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

I have to wait a week for the results though...

I had mine done last Thursday andw as wondering how long it would take to get the results back. I'm going to try to forget about it so I don't start getting anxious. I presume the tests will be negative, but who the hell knows.

Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

posts: 204   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011
id 5104463
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overcoming2003 ( member #30862) posted at 6:45 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

Victory,

I know exactly how you feel! My husband is very inconsistent with his behavior and I just found that he not only has a FB page (which I knew), but a twitter account and my space, which he chose not to share with me. On top of all of this I know that he is meeting friends here where we live (we just moved to the area). They are NOT men, they are women.

I have seen the garbage that he looks at on the myspace page ( I accidentally found that). I need to get tested for my own reasons.

We obviously have no transparency in our relationship. That is scary.

Good luck to you. I will not think about this until I hear from the office either.

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 5104511
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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 6:51 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

Overcoming, victory,

Good for you two! I'm praying For good results for both of you.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 12:52 PM, February 28th (Monday)]


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5104524
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lucie ( member #6773) posted at 7:43 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

So you can ask for the test but it may not be accurate b/c the virus can lay dormant and undetectable by a test...OMG!

Chunk,

My gyn said the high risk strains tend to me more aggressive and that was the case with me & though, it is possible this virus was dormant in my body for years....is it probable? No. I had very limited sexual experience prior to my XH and that experience was with inexperienced guys. I had never had an abnormal pap in the 17+years I had been sexually active with my XH. He cheats with a skanky stripper and my next pap was abnormal. I don't know what the guidelines are now, but when I was first diagnosed they weren't recommending hpv screening in women under 28 (? can't remember the exact age, but somewhere in there) because such a high percentage have a strain of hpv, but will shed it quickly.

[This message edited by lucie at 1:43 PM, February 28th (Monday)]

Very happy, the rest doesn't matter anymore.

posts: 5778   ·   registered: Mar. 30th, 2005
id 5104654
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victory ( member #31088) posted at 9:19 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

Doc's office called. I'm clear of all except HSV1, which are cold sores I think. I think I probably knew about that already as I had cold sores before when I was a teenager.

Nice to get a call early and when I wasn't expecting it.

Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

posts: 204   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011
id 5104874
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overcoming2003 ( member #30862) posted at 9:56 PM on Monday, February 28th, 2011

Congrats, Victory!

Most people would test positive for cold sores, so this is good news!

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 5104957
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AnonMom ( member #21463) posted at 12:00 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I'm an unfortunate member of this group. Over two years after our separation I've recently been diagnosed with HPV and cervical cancer. I'm having a hysterectomy in 2 weeks and hoping that will be the end of this.

Me: 35
WH: 44
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/26/08
He shared HPV with me; had hysterectomy on 3/16/11 due to cervical cancer that spread to my uterus, but kept ovaries. Cancer was found on ovary in 8/11; had both ovaries and fallopian tubes remov

posts: 490   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2008
id 5105155
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overcoming2003 ( member #30862) posted at 2:53 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

(((AnonMom)))

I wish you well.

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 5105480
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Chunk ( member #8189) posted at 6:03 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

February 28, 2011 11:32:24 PM

Study: Half Of Men May Be Infected With HPV

By Julie Steenhuysen

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Half of men in the general population may be infected with human papillomavirus or HPV, the human wart virus that causes cervical and other cancers, strengthening the case for vaccinating boys against HPV, U.S. researchers said Monday.

U.S. vaccine advisers have been weighing whether boys and young men should be vaccinated against the human papillomavirus, as they already recommend for girls and young women, but some worry the vaccine is too costly to justify its use.

HPV infection is best known as the primary cause of cervical cancer, the second most common cancer in women worldwide. But various strains of HPV also cause anal, penile, head and neck cancers. Vaccinating men and boys would prevent some of these cancers.

Anna Giuliano of the H Lee Moffitt Cancer Center and Research Institute in Tampa, Florida, and colleagues studied infection rates among more than 1,100 men aged 18 to 70 in the United States, Brazil and Mexico to get a snapshot of the natural progression of HPV infection in men.

`We found that there is a high proportion of men who have genital HPV infections. At enrollment, it was 50 percent,' said Giuliano, whose study appears online in the journal Lancet.

The team also found that the rate at which men acquire new HPV infections is very similar to women.

And they found that about 6 percent of men per year will get a new HPV 16 infection, the strain that is known for causing cervical cancer in women and other cancers in men.

Vaccines made by Merck & Co and GlaxoSmithKline both offer protection against this strain of HPV.

``The biology seems to be very similar (to women),' Giuliano said in a telephone interview.

``What is different is men seem to have high prevalence of genital HPV infections throughout their lifespans.'

She said it appears that women are better able to clear an HPV infection, especially as they age, but men do not appear to have this same ability.

Vaccine experts said the study builds momentum for widespread HPV vaccination among boys.

Currently, U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends Gardasil vaccinations for girls and women between the ages of 11 and 26. Gardasil had sales of more than $1 billion last year.

And while doctors are free to use the vaccine in boys and men ages 9 through 26, U.S. health officials so far have declined to recommend routine vaccination for males.

``This study highlights the high incidence of HPV infection in men, which emphasizes their role in transmission of HPV to women,' Dr. Anne Szarewski of the Wolfson Institute of Preventive Medicine in London said in a statement.

``It must surely strengthen the argument for vaccination of men, both for their own protection, and that of their partners.'

In December, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Merck's Gardasil HPV vaccine for prevention of anal cancers in both men and women, based on studies showing Gardasil was effective in men who have sex with men, a group that has a higher incidence of anal cancer.

Anal cancer is one of the less common types of cancer, with an estimated 5,300 new U.S. cases diagnosed each year, but the incidence is increasing.

(Editing by Cynthia Osterman)

Copyright 2010 Thomson Reuters.

posts: 2772   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2005
id 5105693
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dazdandconfuzed ( member #11692) posted at 12:24 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

it is possible this virus was dormant in my body for years....is it probable?

This is what gets me, what is possible vs what is probable. I'm 4 1/2 years out from dday and I just remembered something I never thought about. About 12 or so years ago, my H had a wart on his penis. At that point, we had been M for 7 or 8 years, together for more than 10.

All he's ever had was that 1 wart. His Dr was more than happy to talk to me to assure me that the virus has most likely been dormant in his body for all those years and for some reason he was just getting his first actual wart. About 2 years before we started dating - I had sex with a man that had a visible wart. I was only 19 and stupid and when I asked "what is that?" he said it was a "mole". Now that I am older I know the chances that it was a "mole"... well, they are probably too small to even calculate. So I felt terrible - I figured *I* must have given him the virus! I did have 1 abnormal pap maybe a year later that was repeated in 6 months and was normal. I have never had an actual wart.

So is it POSSIBLE that I picked up the virus from that guy, never had a wart myself, gave it to my H and he didn't have a wart for 10 years? Yeah, it is. But is it LIKELY? I don't know. H admits to 1 PA when we were dating, a phone sex thing with another woman, a couple of cyber As, and an EA all between the time we started dating and this wart showed up. He firmly denies any PAs up until he had his LTA 4 1/2 years ago.

Now I find myself wonder what's LIKELY, that the virus was dormant all that time or that I had evidence of a PA all those years ago and never realized it. ~sigh~

Me - BW
Him - WH

posts: 6621   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2006   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 5105854
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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 1:52 AM on Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

A victory for victory! Yea!

Anonmom, ((((hugs)))))

Chunk, thanks for that article...I will definitely encourage DS21 to get the vaccine.

Dazdandconfuzed,

Now I find myself wonder what's LIKELY, that the virus was dormant all that time or that I had evidence of a PA all those years ago and never realized it. ~sigh~

I know, it's agony having to 'wonder' about all these things we will never have answers to. Hugs!

,


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5107761
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13yrsGone ( member #31351) posted at 1:56 AM on Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

my wife gave me herpes ... she tried to act like she must have had it all our relation ship and that it took me 13 years to catch it .... and she told my mom that i gave it to her

Live for the future I know its your prerogative but when you just live for the past you become a part of it.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: NC
id 5107770
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Staggered ( member #24725) posted at 9:12 AM on Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

(((AnonMom)))

I'm so sorry about your situation and hope the surgery goes well.

We'll all be thinking about you and wishing you a speedy recovery.

*****

I finally booked that appointment - and guess what? It's on the second antiversary of DDay #1.

Forward two steps, back one.
Repeat ad nauseum.

posts: 132   ·   registered: Jul. 8th, 2009   ·   location: UK
id 5108159
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