Multiple affairs, and she is still lying to you. There's nothing to work with here. Sure, you could stay married... Or even get back together in the future, but it will not be a true reconciliation. It will be her keeping her secrets and you struggling to make peace with it and ignore that nagging feeling in your gut.
Personally, and I speak from experience, there is a better way to live. I'm divorcing him, and his lies mean nothing to me anymore. He's no longer my problem to solve.
By the way, she had sex, with both of them. Definitely oral sex in the car scenarios. That's what adults do. They have sex. No grown man is coming back for multiple kissing (and hugging???😂)sessions and not getting any orgasms out of it.
Listen to your gut, and make your decision based on that. I'm sorry you are here with the rest of us. This stuff is hard.
I would be surprised if that was the case. While I won't rule out the possibility that she did have sex with both of them, I think it would be very unlikely.
It is important for Mr F to deal with this based on who he knows to be true. He also needs to base it on the fact that some things he will never know for sure. In order to make the best decision possible, he needs to know whether she is still lying.
Let us go over what he knows:
1) He knows that she passed a lie detector test.
Certainly not conclusive that everything she has said is true but, from what Mr F has described, his wife is no criminal mastermind. She was only able to deny Mr F's accusations. She was not able to concoct convincing lies to put him off his gut feeling that something was going on. In fact, the second he laid eyes on the two of them together, he immediately knew what was going on. Not what I'd expect if she was capable of beating a lie detecter.
2) When presented evidence of the hotel receipt, she adamantly denied ever going to a hotel with him, in the face of proof.
Most guilty people, when faced with proof of their lie, do not deny them and say that the evidence is not true. Not unless they are expert liars. They change their lies to accommodate the new evidence. She didn't.
3) She disclosed the second person before the lie detector test.
She gets the tiniest bit of credit for that I guess...
4) He saw texts from the OM backing up that she ran away after the second meet-up, apologizing to her, after two weeks of non-contact between them.
At least I think that is the case. Please let me know if I'm mistaken.
I don't raise these points to say that your wife isn't lying to you, because no one will ever know. I only raise them to say that, when I look objectively at your story, it would really surprise me. I have my doubts that she's capable of the level of deception necessary to maintain such lies. Whether that matters to you is entirely up to you my friend.
As to any advice I have to offer, I have a question. You have said that R is not completely off the table in the future. At this time, is she aware of this fact? Or does she currently believe that you are completely done, but she thinks she can still change your mind?
[This message edited by AnOminousMan at 6:12 PM, Friday, August 27th]