This Topic is Archived
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 4:37 PM on Monday, January 19th, 2009
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 4:24 AM on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 10:06 PM on Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:40 AM on Monday, February 2nd, 2009
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 2:36 AM on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
badlyhurting ( member #18915) posted at 9:51 PM on Sunday, February 15th, 2009
Bumping for the new names I am seeing.
Read the first post in this thread. Memorize it! DO IT!
Don't waste as long as I did in false R. Heal yourself and move forward with your life more quickly. If your WS isn't showing signs of defogging sooner...don't bother waiting for later!
(((((HUGS TO US ALL)))))
Me - 37 BW
Him - 50 WX/Sperm Donor
5 beautiful children
Dday 10/29/07 - day after my birthday, 23 days before birth of #5
Too Many False Rs; D final Feb. 09.
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 6:04 PM on Thursday, February 19th, 2009
bump 
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 5:20 PM on Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
somer222 ( member #21377) posted at 4:03 AM on Monday, February 23rd, 2009
There are a lot of things I wish I had done differently.
1. I wish I had not agreed to let him start his own business when we first married.
2. I wish I had seen how he was taking advantage of me by lounging around half the year because his new business was "seasonal".
3. I wish I had not invested my time or money in his business. It took away my focus from my own career and it cost me a lot of money.
4. I wish I had not let him handle our finances with such blind trust.
5. I wish I had taken exception to his many manipulations throughout our marriage.
6. I wish I had not buried my head in the sand when things weren't adding up with him. Of course they weren't, it was all about him and his pleasure. He was having affairs on me while I was supporting him!
Now, as far as what I did that I am glad I did:
Kicked him out of the house on D day and filed for an annulment. Marriage over. If I ever marry again, I will not let things get so lopsided (in his favor).
invictus ( member #21623) posted at 6:56 AM on Monday, February 23rd, 2009
In retrospect, I wish I'd given my WH ONE MONTH and no more.
Absolutely. Instead, I set the limit at six. He crashed and burned before the first month was done.
I wish I'd not given a damn if I made WS angry.
Heck, I was so worried about hurting his FEELINGS. As if he gave a flying fork about MINE?
Define your minimum standards and stick to them sooner rather than later.
PFFFT. Demand whatever standard you expect -- and I expect nothing but the best. (reckon that's why I got nothing?)
Lesson learned. 30 year career as a wife and mother: SUCCESS. Next 30 years? I plan on being just as successful at living my life, if not moreso!
"i"
♥ BW m. 31 years - Divorced in 2009. It's still a month to month financial struggle, with higher income taxes as a single and no retirement parachute since I was a stay at home mom.
sofresh ( member #22912) posted at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
nEWBIE bumping for the bennefit of others...
ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”
SuspiciousWife ( member #18108) posted at 2:35 PM on Monday, March 2nd, 2009
Bumping this excellent post for Liza.
Me - BW, 44
Him - FWH, 44
OW - former co-worker
3 great kids
DDay - April 25, 2008 - mostly EA with one make-out session
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 9:06 PM on Monday, March 2nd, 2009
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
inknots ( member #22132) posted at 10:39 PM on Monday, March 2nd, 2009
I wish I had slapped that phone out of his hand and called OW with it and told her to fuck the hell off. Then I wish I had taken the phone and flung it against the concrete in the driveway and then backed over it, and then pulled forward again. I wish I had stood up for myself more and been more confrontational with OW. She pretended to be my friend to my face and now I know she was gunning for him for over a year before she started causing trouble.
In short, I wish I had respected myself more. I got it right in the end but it disturbs me that I put up with so much, for so many months, when I was GRIEVING over it almost every single day. Really it was the unhappiest time of my life and that was 100% due to their EA and my inability to stop it.
[This message edited by inknots at 4:43 PM, March 2nd (Monday)]
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:34 AM on Friday, March 6th, 2009
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 5:42 PM on Saturday, March 7th, 2009
mr-misunderstood ( member #23072) posted at 5:45 PM on Saturday, March 7th, 2009
holdingon08 ( member #23090) posted at 5:51 PM on Saturday, March 7th, 2009
Thank you for bumping this. I needed to read this.
Me--BS
Him--WS
Married 11 years
3 children
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:11 AM on Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
bumping for a fellow New Yawkah ...
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
stayingstrong09 ( member #22550) posted at 12:20 PM on Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
She pretended to be my friend to my face and now I know she was gunning for him for over a year before she started causing trouble.
Sounds like the OW in my case, I guess all whores are the same.
I wish I had slapped that phone out of his hand and called OW with it and told her to fuck the hell off. Then I wish I had taken the phone and flung it against the concrete in the driveway and then backed over it, and then pulled forward again
BRAVO inknots- you took the words straight out of my mouth!
BS-Me-22
WS-Him-23
Married 4 years.
Kids-2 DS- one in heaven and one who's 15 months
Found everything out while I was 7 months pregnant...
NC since March of 08
Our status is confusing- supposedly were in "R", but I just don't know.
This Topic is Archived
