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still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 2:46 PM on Friday, October 23rd, 2009
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
February1970 ( member #25711) posted at 2:54 PM on Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Put more money aside when I strted becoming suspicious. 
Me 39
STBXH - SA 39
3 kiddos 8,7,2
S moving toward D
bestrongforyou ( member #25818) posted at 8:08 PM on Friday, October 23rd, 2009
I would have sent over a PI in the first week - I might be more clever now about what really happened
hideandseek ( member #25802) posted at 6:05 PM on Saturday, October 24th, 2009
Wish I had held my ground when everyone around me was insisting he was a great guy and a good catch. I was the one living with him, I was the one seeing him change into the monster he became, I should have stood up to my so-called support system and demanded that they choose: Are you with me or against me? and I should have taken my kids and left BEFORE the affair ever happened, when I was 28 and able to start fresh not 40 and sliding into my sunset years.
Nancy: Why is f#$@ing Armageddon always coming down on me? Andy: You do it. You do know that? You have to know that - Weeds
betrayedinohio ( member #12550) posted at 3:27 AM on Sunday, October 25th, 2009
Finished College.
So that I wouldn't feel "stuck" between staying with a cheater for the rest of my life,
OR
Venturing on my own to take care of myself and my son. Oh yeah, kind of sounds like living happily ever AFTER.
Me - 41
WH - 48
OW - 22 Stripper he met in a club
One son - 8 yrs. old
DDay- 10/06
Married 10 yrs.
Limbo Land.
Broken52009 ( member #24275) posted at 5:09 AM on Sunday, October 25th, 2009
I was so sick that I could barely stand, but I wish I had been stronger, angrier and proactive. I wish I had contacted a PI when my gut *first* started killing me.
Instead I Continued to give him the benefit of the doubt, as always. I wish I had gone to my attorney immediately for my own knowledge and protection. I know it will be a head-spinning, screeching, in a NY second end to my marriage, if I even encounter an online "profile". I just cannot go through this again.
Me: BW 50 and FabUlous!
Him: FWH 53
Married 13yrs 8/28/09
EA 12/08-4/09 PA started 5/15/09
Most Recent DD 8/14/09.
Official NC and Real R since 8/18/09.
1/24/10 He's being an ass. I am Struggling but feeling a little better.
Nycolette ( member #18207) posted at 11:43 PM on Sunday, October 25th, 2009
Plain and simply, I wish I had never married WH.
The warnings were all there: Friends and family said I was too good for him, WH totally narcisitic, WH drank too much (did not realize that he was an alcoholic), WH always had a sense of entitlement, he came from a really crummy and dysfunctional family, he had poor coping skills which have not changed, and the list goes on.
But the saying goes "Love is Blind." Little did I know that I would be sooooo blindsided!
He threw me away but the whore was the trash!
Troi ( member #24513) posted at 12:31 AM on Monday, October 26th, 2009
I wish I had found this site before I confronted.
me BS-39
him WS-42
2004-2009 our relationship was a lie
D-Day 2/25/2009
R..is going great!
"But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve." Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu.
Ms.Martha ( member #23951) posted at 7:26 AM on Thursday, October 29th, 2009
^^^
I'm still here. Still hurting. Still reading and being reminded that I am important too in this relationship. I wish I had read this again last week.
LostatSea4 ( member #21497) posted at 11:24 PM on Friday, October 30th, 2009
Knocked him off the damn fence with a 4x4!!!!
R takes not one but two!
BS-me WS-him
Too many to talk about.
Buzz09 ( member #25971) posted at 12:04 AM on Saturday, October 31st, 2009
I wish that I had found this site/thread when I found out. It would have saved me days and months of agony....
Katherine, those are excellent points.
Blindsided37 ( member #25963) posted at 5:27 AM on Saturday, October 31st, 2009
Wish I had found this site earlier and not confronted so fast. I wish I could have caught them together just to see his lying face and sent her scurrying.
WS: Him (62)BS: Me (59)
Married 36 yrs - 2 Grown children
DDay: May 23,09 DDay #2: 9/09
R: Slowly...
Mantis ( member #5363) posted at 2:45 AM on Sunday, November 1st, 2009
oflahert ( new member #25535) posted at 1:47 PM on Sunday, November 1st, 2009
Implement the 180 on D-Day
Me: BS 42
Him: WS 39
D-Day: 7th July 2009
WS moved out immediately as he wanted 'space to short how he feels' Lived with OP for 3 until found his own place. Now living alone but still see OP.
dreamerinnc ( member #21670) posted at 11:29 PM on Sunday, November 1st, 2009
I wish I would have done what this post says when I found it a year ago instead one year later I am just now starting to make sense of why I should have. Better late than never and we'll see where it goes from here. 
Married 30 years
Me-BS-53
STBXH-57
1 OW that I know about
2 Boys 24 & 26
D-Day 9/13/08 to many to mention since then-I enabled
11/3/10-Finally got the paperwork going to move on with my life!
2011-R ????
2015-WTF!!!
luvedmypbear ( member #25690) posted at 5:08 PM on Monday, November 2nd, 2009
Nycolette:
I could have written your post. Ditto to eveything you said
luvedmypbear didn’t care what you thought. She knew she was a badass.
lostsuol ( member #13706) posted at 8:41 AM on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
hideandseek ( member #25802) posted at 5:33 PM on Friday, November 6th, 2009
I wish I had stayed employed
I wish I had hired a housekeeper
I wish I had done things for myself
and this one is the MOST important:
I wish I had exercised REGULARLY, I cannot tell you how much that improves your mood and helps smooth out the rollar coaster.
If you only do one thing for yourself: GET THEE TO A GYM!
Nancy: Why is f#$@ing Armageddon always coming down on me? Andy: You do it. You do know that? You have to know that - Weeds
nikiseval ( member #26102) posted at 6:13 PM on Friday, November 6th, 2009
I wish I had found SI earlier. Then I would have asked for his passwords and stuff the FIRST time I demanded NC between WH and OW. Checking the phone itself doesn't work when they delete everything!
Me: fBW 41
DS: 7
Done. Moved on.
This sentence no verb.
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 11:29 PM on Saturday, November 14th, 2009
I wish I had had this 20/20 Hindsight post within the first 60 days past D-day... it would have helped me a lot, helped me to deal with the aftermath of the tsunami (see also the Healing Library!).
I bump these observations on a regular basis, because newbies NEED TO KNOW.
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
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