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brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 4:31 AM on Sunday, February 8th, 2015
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 9:46 PM on Tuesday, February 10th, 2015
bump to keep with 20/20 hindsight post
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 1:34 AM on Sunday, February 22nd, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 12:28 AM on Sunday, March 8th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 6:00 PM on Friday, March 20th, 2015
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:24 PM on Wednesday, April 1st, 2015
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Ginny ( member #43196) posted at 9:32 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015
BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 10:03 AM on Tuesday, April 14th, 2015
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 9:10 AM on Sunday, April 19th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 8:19 AM on Monday, May 4th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:25 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 9:23 AM on Saturday, June 6th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 10:22 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2015
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 4:52 AM on Sunday, August 30th, 2015
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 2:57 PM on Sunday, September 6th, 2015
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 8:15 AM on Sunday, October 4th, 2015
"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:45 PM on Sunday, October 18th, 2015
bump 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
theDrifter ( member #48361) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
It's this part that is the most misunderstood:
The 180 isn't supposed to be a manipulation tactic magically designed to win your WS back - and when it's used that way it doesn't work. It's designed to help you become strong enough to detach and begin building a life without them. If you truly let go of your WS and move on - then (and probably only then) they might actually appreciate what they've lost. If you make empty threats, set boundaries you have no intention of defending, and only "pretend" to move on - your WS will continue to assume you aren't going anywhere. And they'll be right.
The 180 is for the BS - period. If it shakes up the WS enough that they come crawling back, begging for another chance the BS can make a decision at that time whether or not it's worth it to them. The BS must assume that this will not happen and that their WS killed the marriage and its time to detach and move on with life.
ME 70 BH
Her 69 WW
We remain unhappily married.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:33 PM on Wednesday, October 28th, 2015
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
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