SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I agree too! Keep your plans w/ the kids. If she doesn't like it, tough! Why should you & the kids have have to miss out because of her whims?!

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:40 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

adultery makes baby Jesus cry

TCMM - I am laughing so hard I am in tears - thank you for that!

she might be stupid enough to have the OM along and violate a court order of no third party contact if I’m lucky!

Exactly where I was going with this, as she seems INCAPABLE of spending a weekend away from that...thing.

Hey TCMM...from my perspective it actually sounds like a great idea for you to have a weekend totally to yourself, and despite how you feel about WW, it ought to be good for her to have a weekend with the kids and away from the OM. She might defog ever so slightly.

Regarding your vulturous step-in-laws...have your attorneys given you any indication of this being something to worry about? It seems patently ridiculous for heirs to be able to contest a will/trust that has been in effect for years.

Is there a coincidence with your mom's onset of Alzheimers? Maybe they are concerned their "50%" will be consumed by medical bills for your mom? Or that you will get power of attorney privileges and do something nefarious with their future inheritance?

Oh, and about leaving a documented trail of communication...you should do what I have had to do in the past with shitty bosses: Any time she tells you something important in a non-written form, you should follow that up with a letter/email that summarizes what was said/decided/requested.

So if she tells you on the phone that she wants to take the kids up north this weekend, you should write up an email saying "I just wanted to confirm that you are planning to take the kids up north this weekend".

It will get laborious, and she may quickly realize what you are up to, but it does not matter because all that is important is that shit is documented. It will let her know that a lot of what she is doing is being documented, and if she is not a total tard she will end up improving her behavior. People always act better when they know they are being watched.

“My relationship with God is important”.

Which one, Loki?

Sorry you are still slogging through this, man. Hope you find a respite soon.

Which one, Loki?

This made me spew my drink on the monitor.

TCMM,

Found this link on another forum and thought immediately of your STBX. Maybe it will help you understand why she could do these things.

NO SOLICITING: SI.com does not allow soliciting of any kind, publicly OR via Private Message. This includes threads with links to other relationship sites and charities and self serving voting sites, social networking, etc. If you have a product, service or Website you believe to be in the interest of SI.com, please contact an Administrator.

[This message edited by trying2deal at 7:05 AM, September 3rd (Friday)]

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:40 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

Which one, Loki?

This made me spew my drink on the monitor.

Ok- people in the next office want to know what's so funny & I'm here ALONE!

TCMM- The mountains of paperwork for a D does subside(right? ) I work in healthcare- there are different levels of Asberger's. It has even been suggested that Jefferson had it- so don't give up hope!

[This message edited by Will Not Be Brok at 3:41 PM, September 2nd (Thursday)]

OK I have been following this since the get go, and although I haven't posted in quite a while I felt the need to add my 2 cents worth today.

1. I feel for ya and the situation w/ your mom. Trust in the fact that Karma will get the greedy sharks of stepsiblings. I have no doubt that they are ultimately digging their own graves, although that does not make things any easier for you now.

Hang in there please look into resources for you and your mom, log into alheimers association website, they offer tons of support, and gobs of resources.

2. Please please please do NOT panic over the whole aspergers thing....the school has to evaluate so that you "son" can get the help he needs. Many brilliant and successful people in this world have this condition, its not a BAD thing, it just means their brains process info differently than others. I have a 13 year old who is a genius, and has ALL the trademark behaviors of aspergers, but I could care less. Because he has learned to manage his condition, and is overall a happy kid. He has goals, and will be able to achieve them, he will struggle, and may have to work harder than the average bear, but he will understand the value of hard work because of it.

My point is...being different isn't a bad thing and one can still succeed with it.

3. You are doing an amazing job holding up w/ this shitstorm you are dealing w/ Your STBXW will soon be f'd, and you will be free from the drama and nonsense. Hang tough! ! !

You are a superman.

You are doing amazing TCMM. Hang in there, breathe a LOT, kiss the kids.

As far as your son goes, I don't know a thing about Aspergers but a friend of my sons has it. The kid just graduated with honors from NYU. So, that said, I'm assuming that this form of autism does not mean a person is unable to live a normal (whatever that is) life.

His life may be different but who's life isn't?

You have done such an amazing job. Keep it up!

Sorry MODS

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:41 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

Don't lose hope. With her actions, you have a fighting chance for primary custody.

I absolutely hate when BH's get screwed over in a D...it's the WW that chose to tear apart the family, therefore they didn't value it enough to have to right to primary IMO.

Hey TCMM....

I've followed your posts since day one and to let you know I like many others here think you are a great father and doing great in your sitch.

I have one question though and maybe I missed a post or two but how has it been determined that your WW is getting custody? Has it been determined or are you assuming that?

If she is getting full custody, then society and the court system is just way to f^cked up. From what you have posted, she cares about no one but herself and runs away from the kids every chance she gets. If she gets full custody, she will leave them home alone more times than be with them.

I guess this is why I'm still in a horrible M with my WW. I don't want to be a weekend dad so I stay in misery.

Hope things turn out for you, we are all pulling for you!!

Is there a chance that the kids will be able to choose where they want to live? I remember when my uncle was going through his D, his kids got to choose when they were 13 where they wanted to live. His son immediately said that he wanted to stay with his dad, and his daughter decided that she had enough of her mom by the time she was about 15 or 16.

Hang in there. If all of her actions come out in court, I would think you would have a fighting chance of keeping them.

(((TCMM)))

As I read your last post, my heart broke for you.

I am wondering too if custody has already been determined? What about 50/50? ... better than the every other weekend deal.

I think your kids are old enough they may be able to be heard from by the courts.

I simply can not see the justice in someone who has turned her back on her family every chance she gets, receiving primary custody. She will get tired of having to play Mommy again instead of living in her fantasy filth and she'll be droppping them off at your house anyway.

are you sure she's even going to seek full custody?

it sounds like she's too busy living la vida loca for parenting.

my stbx said several times he would seek custody, and that I would have to pay him alimony and child support. I knew there was no way that would ever happen as he is just too lazy and would never be able to handle it.

I even offered him basically whatever he wanted for holidays etc. with them, and he requested almost nothing. he was alloted 2 full weeks over the summer. he took the two weeks last year, but brought them back after 4 days, then picked them up again after the weekend for another 4 days. this year he had them for a total of 3 days (nonweekends).

so, my point is, don't necessarily assume she is even going to want or seek primary custody.

Is a lawyer telling you this? Because in my State custody is 50/50 unless there is a hearing to establish it should be otherwise.

I can't imagine any grounds for anything but 50/50 for you; unless, she loses her half.