SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yes, I'm sure Asian women don't cheat and that their moral are so much higher then ours. Just go to Thailand and you'll see.

As a caucasian woman who has been faithful to her white WH for almost 26 years I find that comment highly offensive. Gee what race of MAN should I look for that wont cheat?

Eeek, apologies. I don't mean to offend. Obviously not all Caucasian women cheat, just like not all Women or Men cheat. It's a significant proportion though, making a woman like yourself exceptionally rare. I'd give anything to meet a woman like yourself someday, heck, it's a dream. The problem is though, that infidelity numbers are nauseatingly high among everyone, but among the Caucasian demographic, immorally so.

The whole Thailand thing is icky. I'm more open to meeting an Asian woman here (North America) who hasn't become Americanized. Our Society in North America is basically built upon immorality. Sex here, there everywhere. AshleyMadison, adultfriendfinder, etc. Really, North American society is basically a sword to the throat of the idea of marriage / monogamous relationships.

This is a T/J of Goose's original post, but I, too, am offended by Erik's post. My caucasian X had sex with dozens of women (as far as I can discover) while we were together. I'm not suggesting we causasian women look for fidelity in another realm. Whoa! Maybe that's because I'm grown up enough to know that infidelity knows no country boundaries--or any boundaries at all, in fact. And from what I've read, Goosem is also grown up enough to get that.

ErikUnderStress wrote:

Find yourself a nice Asian woman and be happy (Preferably not a North Americanized version, lol).

Caucasian women and infidelity are through the roof. Not sure what exactly was the catalyst for it, but the numbers are staggering.

Just not worth it for a Caucasian male (I assume that's what you are?) to waste our time with women of our racial background anymore. They've lost respect for themselves, and generally for anything that matters. Morals don't seem to apply.

Sounds like you've experienced the worst type - The interracial affair -. Always felt those were harder to deal with than others (Of course, not including OCs/STDs etc.) because when you inevitably compare yourself with OM/OW it's like "Wow.. they look nothing like me at all. So this is what you're attracted to? The polar opposite of me?" I figure it hits harder.

For me, once was enough. I grew up around Caucasian women (I"m white) and the amount of affairs I've navigated through (Friends, etc) is staggering. Once it hit me, it was enough. I only casually date now, and never with a woman of my racial background.

I see you've bought into the MYTH that asian women are more subserviant, less liberated, therefore less prone to cheating. Sorry, it simply isn't true. I married my college sweetheart, and she wasn't AMERICANIZED, yet she cheated. It's just more hidden, and talked about less than here in the west.

[This message edited by lordmayhem at 10:08 AM, March 9th (Wednesday)]

Ditto lynnm1947 I don't see what someones skin colour/ethnic background has got to do with their moral boundaries.

Find yourself a nice Asian woman and be happy (Preferably not a North Americanized version, lol).

Caucasian women and infidelity are through the roof. Not sure what exactly was the catalyst for it, but the numbers are staggering.

Just not worth it for a Caucasian male (I assume that's what you are?) to waste our time with women of our racial background anymore. They've lost respect for themselves, and generally for anything that matters. Morals don't seem to apply.

Sounds like you've experienced the worst type - The interracial affair -. Always felt those were harder to deal with than others (Of course, not including OCs/STDs etc.) because when you inevitably compare yourself with OM/OW it's like "Wow.. they look nothing like me at all. So this is what you're attracted to? The polar opposite of me?" I figure it hits harder.

For me, once was enough. I grew up around Caucasian women (I"m white) and the amount of affairs I've navigated through (Friends, etc) is staggering. Once it hit me, it was enough. I only casually date now, and never with a woman of my racial background.

SERIOUSLY??? Do you want to tell my white husband he is the wrong gender for cheating then? I'm almost 30 years old and have been with exactly 1 person (my cheating white husband).

Erik--please don't apologize for being incredibly offensive then continue to justify.

By your reasoning, American men should only date Afghani women who wear burquas and live in fear of being stoned to death if they make eye contact with a man who is not their husband.

Infidelity has always been around in all cultures. If you want to find reasons date inter-racially--that's your business, but your throwing racist, sexist statements & stereotypes around about women in general is very offensive...and by the way...I'm a racial minority who comes from a rather conservative cultural background. So is my husband. He still cheated because HE violated his own integrity.

[This message edited by Tal at 10:16 AM, March 9th (Wednesday)]

SERIOUSLY??? Do you want to tell my white husband he is the wrong gender for cheating then? I'm almost 30 years old and have been with exactly 1 person (my cheating white husband).

Never said white men didn't cheat. I know that it's a fact from personal experience (Father cheating on my Mother).

Maybe it's the fact that I'm a white male that causes me to look more diligently into the white issue.

But it's been my experience that white women are more promiscuous than other races, and Asian women less so.

That doesn't mean no Asian women cheat, or anything like that.

Considering 80% of all Marriages will have one partner cheat at least once during the marriage, I'm sure cheating isn't a Whites Only exclusive club, all I'm saying is that in my experience, white women cheat more than their other racial counterparts.

This thread is getting way off topic right now....

Goose ~ I know you are having a tough time. I am so sorry.

Its still mourning time and for that I feel true remorse for you and your family. No condolences can console.

Keep trying to reach the other betrayed spouse. I know she seems to be hard to find...but I know you can do it. I realize you don't want to go to her home. I understand.

Is there someone you trust who would be willing to hand deliver a letter to her? Could you wait nearby until you see her? (Like at a coffee shop or grocery store?)

Please be gentle with her. The betrayed husband who came to my house was anything but gentle and I literally called the sheriff. I am not suggesting that you are a wacko or anything. It is not an easy position to be approached with such information.

Hugs and Hugs

I will keep checking to see how you are doing.

You are doing GREAT, by the way; and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and for doing what you feel is right even in a very wrong situation.

Erik: Your continuing to justify...

Your reasoning for doing so sound like:

Frogs jump.

Sometimes people jump.

Therefore people who jump are frogs.

Continuing to rationalize is negating your apology. Most of us have had to deal with enough of that from our unfaithful spouses.

Please stop.

[This message edited by Tal at 10:23 AM, March 9th (Wednesday)]

This thread is getting way off topic right now....

My fault. I'll leave your thread alone.

Wish you the best of luck with whatever path you choose. Hope you find happiness and peace.

Go get her Goose...lol

And everybody else..

LOL

Don't POKE THE MONKEY!!!

Pffft!!

Goose, you don't have to go there if the location makes you uncomfortable. Package up your stuff and pay a courier. Make sure it's registered, signature *with ID* only.

We told my youngest daughter last night....She didn't really understand it. So sad.

Goose - I've been following your story and my heart goes out to you. Like all the others here, I've been through it and wish you all the strength in the world - which to me, you have been showing and then some! I just want to chime in on the thread because it seems like every 7th comment or so, someone tells you about having to tell the other BS. I think it is clear that you are making every effort to do that to the best of your ability. I don't think it is necessary to put yourself in a position where you fear for your safety by going to the house. I think you are making every reasonable effort to contact her. Just wanted to throw that in because it was starting to make me a little uncomfortable how that kept getting brought up over and over again and you are seemingly trying to deal with it! I'm just remembering what a pain filled whirlwind those first few weeks were (and I had a remorseful WH and am in R right now) and I just really don't think you need anymore hammering over the head about that particular point. I know everyone is trying to be supportive but I just wanted you to know that I think you are on top of it and you are doing an amazing job! Keep your chin up and love on that little girl of yours. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this....

This thread has had some disturbing comments from a couple of members...

Goose,

I know so many are behind you trying to notify the other spouse but maybe it is time to focus on you. You have tried, doesn't mean you can't try again at a later time.

FOcus on your kids and yourself. Give yourself a break if at all possible.

Sorry you are here.

Find yourself a nice Asian woman and be happy (Preferably not a North Americanized version, lol).

WTF is wrong with this poster?

You really know NOTHING about Asian culture, same problems only it's much more hidden.

Sex and cheating everywhere here but not in Asian cultures? Are you serious?

I had a really good Asian friend in college, very petite and very sweet, she said it was sickening how some men would target her and her friends because the were Asian, would tell them they didn't like American women. She and her friends thought of them as wolves, these guys would get real bossy very quickly and were very disrespectful of them and they avoided people like that poster like the plague.

Goose- I've been following your thread. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Just hang on tight to that precious little one of yours, and keep pushing through. Honestly, you seem very strong, and you're doing EVERYTHING right! Good for you, for standing up for what you deserve!

I hope you're able to move past this, soon. ((goose))

And to Eric - you must not have had much experience if the only experiences you've had led you to believe that any one race cheats LESS than another. Very offensive posts, and very skewed views.

Maybe I overstated my opinion about getting this info to the BS, no ill will intended AT ALL, so I apologize if it was taken that way. God knows Goose that you don't need any more stress in your life right now. It is just such a common theme that I've seen for 4+ years on here.

Ugh. Why do any of us have to be here?!? So unfair, but we can either decide to flower and flourish in this new pot of soil we've been unwillingly thrown into, or we can wilt and die here.

It does suck that we are here. I'm having such a HUGE swing in my emotions, and it's minute by minute. It ranges from EXTREME anxiety, Sorrow, Anger, Fear etc. And the next minute I'm fine. I have so many triggers already, smells, sounds, my daughter, memories.

I really hope I'm doing the right thing. Deep down I wish she would change and come to her senses and be the woman that I married...but my gut tells me she won't and will only cause me more pain for what family I have left....

**deep breaths**