SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been following your story and I wish you well. Your patience amazes me. I think you are stronger than you realize and I commend you for that. Good luck, C.O.

I am surprised you haven't cracked completely. Take good care of your health (as best can in these circumstances).

We would all like to see you come through this as healthy as possible for you and your daughter.

When is the lab results?

We would all like to see you come through this as healthy as possible for you and your daughter.

CO: My heart goes out to you and this horrible situation you are dealing with! Make sure to keep that beautiful little girl of yours close to your heart! The love for my three babies kept me strong and plugging along when I thought my world was crumbling down around me!

((((CO))))

Hi Onions,

I am also one of the lurking followers of your waiting game. As a woman, I just wanted to chime in on the "friend" from the past. IMO, rarely would a platonic friendship have a disagreement that would lead to the ending of the friendship. Emotions just don't run that strong with movie buds. The scenario could have been that he had feelings for her, & those came to light so she had to end the friendship. I would eventually get to the bottom of that, once you confront this current OM situation.

Sending strength & prayers your way. Keep chopping...

Dear Chopping,

I have been following your thread and am praying for you. Give yourself credit for having amazing strength!! The fact that you are still functioning is a testament to that.

Take care, and I hope this mess can be resolved soon. I am rooting for you!

Hope you get the answers soon...

Another until now silent follower, speaking to your lack of sleep.

Valerian root, melatonin, search the web for natural sleep aids (almonds, for example).

You need to take care of yourself, and sleep is crucial, at least for most human beings. :-)

I suggest IC for you, as a long term aid in dealing with this.

Also, you have my prayers for a definitive result, and my assurance that you can get through this with your well-being intact.

Seems like forever here, waiting for those lab results..

LOL

I can only imagine how it feels for you onion!

Seems like forever here, waiting for those lab results..

Yeah, forever and a day. They said between 5 and 8 business days, so Monday to Wednesday.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Hoping you get the results back soon and get some peace!

Nothing on VAR I assume?

Nothing on VAR I assume?

Nada. I'm pretty sure all communication is either at work or through her cell (email/text or something to that effect).

There's a several hour time zone difference as well, so there's a somewhat limited time window for them to be talking.

It's also possible that things are way underground right now if she's having some suspicion. Hell, I'm pretty much in the dark and flying blind.

I reread your initial post. The conversation you reported raised some pretty important issues to any M. In addition to the PA issue you're grappling with.

Has your WW raised any of those issues since? They are important, more so if she was taken aback when you raised them and by the 'have you anything else to tell me?'

I may have missed your post on this, but was there any follow-up? (Interesting that your WW didn't follow them up if that's the case.)

Notwithstanding, it occurs to me if your current efforts don't help you reach a conclusion, that they are issues that might.

Doc, I agree completely that there is a wealth of knowledge to be gleaned from those comments but you probably would have to be a professional interrogator to get at them? I think if he goes dark or acts aloof so as to get her to question him might be another way to provoke conversation

Has your WW raised any of those issues since? They are important, more so if she was taken aback when you raised them and by the 'have you anything else to tell me?'

I may have missed your post on this, but was there any follow-up? (Interesting that your WW didn't follow them up if that's the case.)

This may be why she's laying low now.

If you have a common computer you both share make sure you clear the browser history after your SI chats.

I failed to do this and my WW found all my comments and plans I discussed and such and it was as if I had been the cheating one. They'll use any leverage possible.

I reread your initial post. The conversation you reported raised some pretty important issues to any M. In addition to the PA issue you're grappling with.

Has your WW raised any of those issues since? They are important, more so if she was taken aback when you raised them and by the 'have you anything else to tell me?'

Not much discussion since her return. I backed way off while she was gone, so as to not raise suspicion (basically so I could continue investigating without additional roadblocks). I agree they need to be addressed, just waiting for the right time.

If you have a common computer you both share make sure you clear the browser history after your SI chats.

I'm pretty savvy with computers, tech, etc. Not worried about my browser history. I'm more worried about me having a brain lapse and leaving my browser open to SI.

Family outing today. All was fine until we returned and then she got in a pissy mood. No idea why.

As for me, one day seems a little better, then crash comes the next day. Mind movies, wondering what the hell is going on with her, feeling lost, etc. Seems like every day is up, down, up, down. Mostly down though.

Getting impatient for the lab result.

At some point you will have to reconcile if you want to continue. You know there's something amiss, all you are waiting for is the severity of the amiss part.

Weigh staying in the marriage against what she has done and seeing if it is worthwhile. I think, and this is likely cynical, that those who stay and make it work are in the minority. There is no way anybody can forget the betrayal, no matter how straight and narrow the partner becomes. And, if it is long term or serial, the recovery can be even more difficult, if nigh on impossible.

Hang in, patience, and good luck.

I feel for you, man. Like you, my W had a series of trips for work that seemed more and more questionable, especially when an OM openly flirted with her on Facebook.

My suggestion: Print out everything you have discovered and still have access to. Keep one copy and confront her gently with another one.

You don't have to live like this. At the very least, there's a lot of inappropriate messages and her being distant. That in itself is enough for an intervention -- and hopefully happier times, eventually.

Here's hoping today is the day!