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General :
Size question, for the ladies (explicit discussion)

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 kchip (original poster member #36365) posted at 10:52 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

So seems anything goes and this may seem a bit silly, but I am wondering about my wife's thought process and her A.

I am very attentive to my wife and would always bring her to a clitoral climax before intercourse. She loved it, sometimes more than once.

Here's the thing, I know I am not exactly hung. I have always mixed things up and used my hands and fingers to 'help out' during intercourse. She has always said I was a good lover....sigh.

Now, in my discovery of emails from the WW - I found pics the OM sent to her very early on in their relationship, perhaps maybe before they even decided to meet. Compared to me, he is hung.

I feel humiliated asking this, but by proudly sexting his package to my WW - did this sway her? Is size a real turn on?

Me: BH (42)
2 boys, age 10/7
D Day: July 15, 2012
Status: DIVORCING
You know that movie, Sleeping With the Enemy? Well I am Julia Roberts in that one......sighhhh
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change"

posts: 471   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2012   ·   location: FL
id 5960960
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yewtree ( member #16671) posted at 10:54 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Personally I find momogamy to be a bigger turn on than size.

Who knows what her preference is... perhaps you should ask her?

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 - No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

posts: 4940   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2007
id 5960963
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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 10:58 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Is size a real turn on?

Not for me. In fact (TMI answer ahead), the partners I've had who were "bigger" were the most uncomfortable and unpleasurable. I once described sex with a partner who was largely endowed as the worst sex I'd ever had. Edited to add: this was due to the size.

I might be a contrarian as the stereotype (in media, etc.) seems to be that "bigger is better" from the ladies' perspective. But I can definitely say that for me, that is NOT true.

JMHO.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 5:04 PM, August 7th (Tuesday)]

Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again

Staying together for the kids

D-day 2010

posts: 6490   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 5960971
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jandjs1st ( member #36087) posted at 10:58 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

I would be creeped out if another man sexted me a picture of himself. I don't care how well hung he was, I would not be impressed. I never thought size mattered either. It's the motion in the ocean.

[This message edited by jandjs1st at 4:59 PM, August 7th (Tuesday)]

BW-32
FWH- 33
2 DD
Status - Working on it
d-day- April 21, 12

posts: 180   ·   registered: Jul. 10th, 2012   ·   location: Southeast
id 5960972
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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 11:02 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

For me personally, size doesn't really matter. My H isn't exactly Mr. Ed, ya know? He's average. *But* he knows what I like and how I like it. That is what IMO, is important. I guess if your WW just wanted hot pig sex, then size would count for more but if she (or any woman) wanted *lovemaking* then the entire package is important, not just the ribbon. KWIM?

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 5960974
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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 11:03 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

I've been with three different guys and although Do3K is the biggest out of all three, that doesn't matter.

Personally I find momogamy to be a bigger turn on than size.

This matters more ^^^^

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 5960976
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kourt090 ( member #34926) posted at 11:11 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Not for me. In fact (TMI answer ahead), the partners I've had who were "bigger" were the most uncomfortable and unpleasurable.

I completely agree with heartbroken.

It's been my experience that the "bigger" partners I've been with thought that their size compensated for a complete lack of skill. That just because they were "large" meant they were good. Well, I'm here to tell you otherwise. I can't speak for anyone here on SI but I can tell you that based on conversations I've had with my girlfriends in the past (yes, women do discuss this, lol) that it was pretty much a unanimous agreement that it's not the size, it's what they can do with it. For me, some of the hands down best lovers have been a bit more on the average to below-average size.

Kourt090

posts: 310   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2012   ·   location: Utah
id 5960989
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 11:21 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Another female jumping in here.

I agree. Sex to me is about the total experience, not just penis size.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 5960997
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Time Ticks On ( member #33772) posted at 11:23 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Seems I am the odd one out..I like bigger but I am completely happy with any size. Think of it like big breasts. Many men are happy with small or average breasts yet they still will look at big breasts.

FBW- 50
FWH-51
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 25 years- together 27

What doesn't kill me, scars me.

posts: 2001   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Down South
id 5960999
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MediumRare ( member #35128) posted at 11:28 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Not a lady, but I will say from my experience, women vary as greatly as men do. In other words, a woman's insides can require an overly small, or over large male to feel satisfied based on physical differences in how they are made.

Of course, the vagina can stretch massively to fit a baby during childbirth, but we're talking normal (and aroused) shape and size for sexual fulfillment.

The good news is, the vast majority of women are "average" in size internally, much how like the vast majority of men are "average" in size externally.

Women that enjoy or crave a well-hung male should not feel bad about it, just as well as women that cannot tolerate a large/hung male. I've known women with very shallow cervixes where even an average sized male can be painful as it can bump that surface during intercourse, etc. etc. It's a biological thing that people cannot really change.

As you said though, there is a lot more to sex than just intercourse. Plus, if you happen to be with a woman that has a naturally cavernous vagina, you can always pick up a huge strap on or prosthetic to add to your own on occasion, etc. etc.

[This message edited by MediumRare at 5:29 PM, August 7th (Tuesday)]

BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

posts: 764   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 5961009
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worriedNow ( member #29320) posted at 11:32 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

First of all I find it a turn off that he sent pics of his package. Kinda narcassistic.

Size is not what necessarily turns me on. I like my guy clean. As far as fooling around goes - it is technique not size.

Back to the picture - nah. Not a turn on. I kinda find it funny.

posts: 353   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2010
id 5961017
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Ariel73 ( member #35109) posted at 11:35 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

I don't think size matters much, either. Having said that, in my dating days I had a rather "small" boyfriend, and it was a bit too small. WH is average, and that is more than enough for me. I never wish he was bigger. And as a tall woman with a long cervix, average (when used well) is awesome.

I agree with another poster, if a man sent me a picture of his penis, it would be a turn off. No offense, but they're not exactly pretty.

Married 12 years
BS: Me, 40
WS: Husband, 40
Three Kids: 4, 9 and 10
DDay: March 19th, 2012, 2-year PA

posts: 259   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2012
id 5961020
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 11:42 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

If I was sent a pic of Mr ed(ha I like that.) It would nit make me want him..nope. now the size thing...doesn't matter, what matters is him making me feel like he's into me.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 5961037
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notquiteoverit ( member #32919) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

In my opinion, size does not matter at all. What matters is skill. And, I sincerely believe that skill is determined by genuine willingness to please your partner. It sounds like you are doing well in this department.

I will say that a huge turn off for me is a guy who is compelled to send pictures of his junk.

Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

posts: 645   ·   registered: Jul. 28th, 2011
id 5961039
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keeponkeepingon ( member #32935) posted at 1:05 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Personally I find momogamy to be a bigger turn on than size.

THIS^^^^^^ So much THIS!!

he knows what I like and how I like it

This too^^^^

It's not about size. It is about wanting to please your partner.

And to add, I would rather give a BJ to an average man than Mr Ed.

"I know you and you know me and I know you can see. So help me get my way back to you"

posts: 1005   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: On the corner of Grey St at the end of the world
id 5961169
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avicarswife ( member #35799) posted at 1:12 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

It is about the entire package. It doesn't matter what size things are - big or little - a lover is so very much more than the size of a his penis.

Never trust a photo anyway - amazing what you can do with photoshop!

On D-day:BS 46 (me)WH 50
Toasted22M 26 yrs,3 kids (16-24) at discovery. D-Days 2012 23-24 May + TT D-Day 2013 12 Apr
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 mths 2010
mOW#3 PA once
2022 Separated

posts: 932   ·   registered: Jun. 9th, 2012   ·   location: NZ
id 5961184
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Fiveblessings ( new member #36355) posted at 1:13 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

It has nothing to do with penis size.And like most women,I am turned on by seeing pictures of a man's penis.It sounds to me like she was very well satisfied with your lovemaking,this is not about you at all.

Married 7yrs together for 12
Me:BS 38 Him:WH 43
Kids 11,7,5,3,1 yr
D-day 6/12/12
7/10/12 found out OW#2
7/29/12 found out OW #3
Trying to R

posts: 22   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: fiveblessings
id 5961186
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SoCo ( member #33907) posted at 1:35 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

100% in agreement...

1)Monogamy

2)Technique

Photo's of his penis=ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

What was he 16?????

or maybe I am just reacting like a 16 years old?

But seriously any man that sends me a photo of obviously his "pride and joy", would get nothing but a laugh in the face.

All kidding a side, we male and female BS's go through this comparison hell, it can certainly eat at your heart and soul.

So what if he is bigger, how sad that he had to lead with that little gem, to stupid, to ignorant, to arrongant, lot's of things wrong with this guy!!

There is no real reason for you to feel humiliated, that belongs to your WW and the AP!!!!!!

And I would bet my last dollar ....

THAT IS NOT WHY your WW slept with him.

Hope these post bring you some comfort!!!!

BS (me)
WS (him)
DDay. Jan. 2010
AKA Whydidyou (long story)

posts: 320   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 5961215
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 1:49 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

I'm in 100% total agreeance with the others. Size does not matter!

Now, speaking as a FORMER WW, the size of this dudes junk isn't what got your wife to do what she did. It was whatever was fucked up inside of her already. The bird shot was just propane fuel on an oil-rig fire....kwim??

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5961233
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veritas ( member #3525) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

The average vaginal canal is only 3-4 inches long so for someone like myself who has an overactive bladder, wellhung doesn't mean dookie if he doesn't know what he's doing. All him sending pictures of his penis meant that he was willing to whip it out for a woman he barely knew.

Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

posts: 10171   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2004
id 5961235
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