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Just a thought, but what would happen if you went to church with them and sat beside your WW?

Don't do this, BTW.

I don't know Devotedman, your idea sounds kind of cool. He could wear a TShirt that says "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery." Maybe have a little arrow at the bottom pointed at them. Certainly, they would get up and move... And he could follow them around to different pews.

I love the show up at church and wear the T-shirt idea!!!

I'm dying to reply to POSOM with this:

Exodus 20:14

Proverbs 6:32

Frankly, OM's pastor deserves to know how one of his members is hurting his church's reputation by having sex with another man's wife...

Wow! He's a straight up Jesus Cheater.

Don't reply to him, just ignore him.

However, he does seem to have forgetten his 10 commandments, specifically the 7th (7.“You shall not commit adultery.") and 10th (Don't covet thy neighbor's wife).

What a tool.

Is there a rule here about linking people's facebook profiles? I'm sure we'd all love to send responses to that POS for you !!! Hell, the SI army here could probably end every new affair if we started sending PM's to these POS AP's.

Just an evil thought...a brilliant one

Not sure. But boy, would that be fun.

Do not reply to POS it is a fool's errand. Why engage someone who is so delusional.

I sent you a PM.

If this POSOM is a true Christian, then I am the fecking Dalai Lama!

I am taking odds on how long before they get struck by lighting with their pious facade in church.

U&B

You are right, she could mail everything back.

She really thinks you are stupid.

She has no respect for you or your marriage. She has non for herself.

Stick to your guns.

If she goes send out the email to family and friends.

Then divorce her.

Can you explain the reasoning t me of why her and POSOM are having an affair, sexually, then go to church the next day.

My Catholic brain is having trouble understanding their warped perception of reality.....

HM

UnlovedAndBroken, I am sooooo liking your younger brother right now for his very nice suggestion.

I would buy him a beer.

I would not reply to him - just like your wife was worried in the beginning when you were calm and avoiding her, he is feeling the same thing. By you responding to him (and her), they are trying to gauge your feelings, and trying to predict your next move, or how you feel about her visit this weekend. If you responded with anger, they may think you that you might drive down there this weekend, but by not responding, leaves them both in the lurch, and that is killing them - not knowing your next move, or thoughts. I think not responding is a good way to mess with them.

[This message edited by downintx at 9:55 AM, May 15th (Friday)]

I'm not going to answer him.

If I get tempted, I'll just vent here. :-)

I imagine OM like this:

No, no you don't have to reply

[This message edited by MollyMoo at 10:06 AM, May 15th (Friday)]

As you know U&B, if she truly wants to work on her marriage with you, she would mail the phone back to the OM with a NC letter. She has absolutely no reason to visit him this weekend in order to end it unless she still is in the affair.

You deserve much better. You have grown a lot from your first post, which was not so long ago.

My only piece of advice is, if she does go to visit the OM this weekend, follow through on your promise. If you do not, she will believe she can get away with more without repercussions.

BTW, you are doing the right thing by not responding further to the OM.

Good job thus far with a truly crappy situation.

[This message edited by Gradient at 10:08 AM, May 15th (Friday)]

You know what really grinds my gears?

The fact that they both claim that "we didn't mean for this to happen."

Bullshit. First off, she broke a cardinal rule of marriage - you don't open up to a member of the opposite sex about your issues in marriage. That flings the door wide open for exactly what happens! That's exactly how this started. She talked to him about his failed marriages, she opened up about her needs she was feeling weren't met... told him frustrations... well hello, new depositor to the love bank! Hey, that feels pretty good!

Secondly, I don't believe for a second that he didn't mean for this to happen. He meets her in a training class and's like, "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I've got a job for you, so call me maybe?" Really?

No. He took a fancy to her, he saw the opportunity that presented itself when she flung the door wide open like an idiot and he knowingly stepped right on through. He's been grooming her for this relationship for quite a bit.

Now, do not misinterpret what I'm saying. She is 100% to blame for her actions against me, our marriage and our son. I don't think he hypnotized her with his animal magnetism or cast some sort of voodoo. I don't necessarily think he's mentally stronger than him.

But, I don't think this is his first rodeo. The dude had a burner phone at the ready to give her. He recognized that she flung the door open and he was happy to start making those deposits to her love bank, knowing full well what would likely happen.

He is so incredibly full of shit. God, I want to beat him beyond recognition and make her watch as I do it to her precious Captain Save-A-Ho.

You have grown a lot from your first post, which was not so long ago.

Thanks so much. I have a hard time seeing it, but thank you all for the support. I'm so glad I found SI.

Here's my 2 cent worth in your "what do I answer POS contest:

You said: "I will follow his will through hell if need be."

Don't wait for His guidance, JUST GO TO HELL.

Nah, don't worry, she'll soon find out that Mother Teresa on his donkey steed was lying about more than just being a partner at the place where he USED to work. 3 failed marriages, I am surprised he has any retirement left.

By the time she realises that these giants he has been fighting have been nothing more than windmills, it'll be too late, and she'll be left with nothing more than Don Quixote and his knackered old horse... and he'll be onto the next stupid bint to open her legs as quick as her heart.