SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm 24, 25 in May. I've been married to my husband for three years. I married him because he was hardworking and a good provider. He seemed so much sawyer and kinder when we were dating, but now he's just... emotionless. So i just fell out of love with him I suppose.

As to my lover,I never thought to question his profession.

[This message edited by DoctorsLove at 4:36 PM, April 2nd (Sunday)]

Ah just as I expected-(no offence) you're young and naive. This 35yr man is taking advantage of you.

"General practice" means didn't finish a residency and get boarded. This is unusual in American grads. And if he's practicing as a "naturopath" they don't need even a state medical license in most states. So I'm betting he went to Med school and couldn't hack it in a residency, or flunked his USMLE.

Good luck with that..... let me know how that works out for you.

Back to Excedrin... Good he gave you the ASA-free one... but did he even consider the caffeine in it? Caffeine is category C. In my hospital, we avoid category Cs because we would rather be on the safe side.

Anyway, I wish for you peace of mind and clear thoughts. Start by being honest to yourself and to your husband.

DL

I have one simple question, what do you want? Given what the good people on SI have already said, and in your own heart, what do you want? If you are truly not in love with your H you should leave. Give him a D and let him find someone who will love him unequivocally. I will tell you that the fog people have mentioned is true. I thought my exap was my soulmate, my true love blah blah blah and she would say the same to me. Well it took her all of a month and a half to snare someone else. For all I know she could have been seeing him before I ended it. The point is, I almost threw my entire life away for an illusion. I finally see my wife for the amazing person she is. Maybe you don't love your husband but I urge you to take a step back and examine your feelings.

A lot of things seem off here.

Do you think he's emotionless because he senses something is amiss? Are you always hiding your phone? You already use Snapchat which deletes everything right away.

Of course I hide my phone. It's my main method of communication with my paramour

Correction, your affair partner.

Um, just so you know, hiding one's phone is one of the main red flags betrayed spouses notice.

I still think things are hinky here.

Have you read through the healing library or the JFO forum?

I try to stay out of posting on this forum but I felt the need to.

You've really put yourself on a destructive path. Check out depression. I'm worried for your innocent baby. She needs love, attention, holding, care. All these things are essential to her well being. If you're not bonding, this could be crucial for this child's development. You need to get her what she needs and do it immediately. She deserves the best life she can have and she deserves a good start, she's not getting it and it will manifest itself in her development. She could have social emotional and trust issues her entire life.

As far as you, you may be getting played. As others said, you might not be the only one he's spending time with. Even if you are, you know what he did to his wife and he knows what you've done to your husband.

If they cheat with you they will cheat on you. The future does not look good for this relationship.

In terms of your husband whether he gives you emotion or not, he will be devastated when he finds out what's been going on while he's working to support you.

I found out that my beloved dog of 10 years was OW's. My husband took him from her when he was a 4 month old puppy and brought him home to me because he knew I would care for him they way he deserved to be cared for. This is a DOG!!! I was depressed beyond words when I found this out from OW's mouth just three months ago. I can't imagine how your husband will feel about his CHILD being named after the deceased mother of your affair partner.

I have seen a former coworker literally charm the pants off of three different married women in three different professional places of employment. This man is a charmer, follows his penis and leaves a big wake of hurt behind yet he continues his pattern over and over. Is this what you want for yourself?

You need to prioritize your child, get counseling and let you husband know what has been going on. He deserves to know the truth.

Seems you need some support, I hope you can get the help you need and move in a better direction for your child and yourself.

About 10 months ago, I was looking for a natural healer/doctor for my first pregnancy. I was 3 months or so along.

When my daughter was born at the end of February....

Something is wrong with these^^^dates. If you were 3 months pregnant 10 months ago, you should have had the baby 4 mos ago, not in the end of Feb.

Not a single post about your husband. Don't you have any guilt or shame? Some form of remorse or moral code telling you to do the right thing?

Fucking with the word paramour. There is nothing romantic about the trauma you are about to inflict on your spouse WHEN he finds out. It might not be now, but it will happen eventually. What a disgusting continuance of a bullshit relationship.

Also, here's how fucking selfish this loser secret boyfriend of yours is that you can't even see:

" Oh babycakes, I totally understand that you need the time. But before you let me go, visualize us having a life together. Keep that in your mind. Look, I have divorce papers written up! I totally just got these and plan on filing tomorrow."

Who wants to bet that he doesn't file? Or that these are brand new even?

Stop being so goddamn selfish and walk away from your marriage. Give your husband custody. You don't deserve these people, you can't think about anything but you and somebody as selfish as you.

Fucking paramour How fucking shameful.

I married him because he was hardworking and a good provider.

And forgive me but "if you just fell out of love with him" THEN FUCKING LEAVE HIM! OR TELL HIM THE GODDAMN TRUTH SO HE CAN END IT WITH HIS SHITTY WIFE!

I'm sorry for the confusion. My brain has really been frazzled lately. I actually wrote my own birthday wrong on a medical form last week!! I suppose that's what stress does to you. I met the doctor in august. I remember that much because I found out I was pregnant just after a 4th of July vacation. He came over for the first time in September and our first intimate night together was the first day of November. And almost immediately after that, he started talking about us having a future. So it's only been 8 months. Wow. It seems like it should have been longer.

Thanks for jolting my brain. I need to start remembering dates if I decide to tell my husband about my lover.

[This message edited by DoctorsLove at 9:59 PM, April 2nd (Sunday)]

I actually have a great idea for you. This seems to work really well for waywards who want to have a relationship with their 'paramour'.

He clearly hasn't and doesn't plan on telling his wife. But you only have a picture of papers that he hasn't filed yet. If he fails to file tomorrow, I think you need to tell his wife. Obviously he would have lied to you but it might be out of guilt that he doesn't leave, so if you tell her then she will end if for him and you'll be sparing him the trouble. Doing you both a favour :-)

I think making sure he files tomorrow is a great idea. But how would I do that? Offer to go with him?

He asked me to picture our life together. Me living in his apartment with the baby. His father coming over to see the child that was named after his late mother...

....him leaving you at home to go see his other "special" house call patients.

You seriously need to wake up.

And stop using the word paramour. He is your affair partner, your other man.

[This message edited by GoldenR at 10:13 PM, April 2nd (Sunday)]

DoctorsLove

How would you feel if your BH was doing this to you?