SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oooooo. Forged. You gonna let notthevictem do you like that?

He can try, but his house will be clamped and the Amish Mafia folks will catch up to him this time. Might take a while with the horsedrawn buggies and all, but they'll get him.

The Amish always get their man.

[This message edited by Forged1 at 11:51 PM, August 11th (Friday)]

I was looking for them the other day on Amazon for a contract but couldn't find them. How'd you get ahold of them?

Weren't on twitter or facebook or instagram either.

Carrier pigeon.

....knew I should bought that parrot....

Aghh!! Goodnight SI

Hello!

It's morning here now....

and I've woken up to this gloriously, funny, witty, ego-kibble-speckled, thread-of-all-threads.

NTV - you always know how to cheer a gaggle of fart-deprived people up! 🌋

🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠& #128032🐠🐠🐠🐠

🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠& #128032🐠🐠🐠🐠

Goldfish margaritas all round for you tireless, selfless folks

🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹& #127865🍹🍹

🌈MOB🌈

Wow, I don't like fish. Can you ship a pizza instead?

I'm willing to pay any ego kibbles price!

I heard that Ntv walked up to a woman just the other day and asked if he could smell her privates!

She said, you most certainly can not!

He replied, it must be your feet then!

[This message edited by Wool94 at 2:26 AM, August 12th (Saturday)]

I heard that Ntv walked

Wool,Hearing about and believing that I can walk, your egokibblie donation is (barely) accepted! Sorry, no pizza. But for three more kibbles I will mail your dead fish with a stale oyster cracker.

MadOldBat, two kibble donation noted! Your dead fish is in the mail! If you'd like to donate a small piece of your immortality to me, I would gladly ship you the remainder of this box of dead fish. I would even pickle them for you (during shipment of course).

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 7:23 AM, August 12th (Saturday)]

wool, wait-a-darn-minute here. Why are you asking for pizza?? YOU were supposed to bring the goldfish. But noooooo you just HAD to pass them off to thatbpguy. Did you know he planned to get me blasted and feed them to me under the guise of 'sushi'???

Alright everyone! We are on to day 2 of our Fund Drive! Call in your your donations today!

Our two donation for goldfish is still ongoing, but supplies are limited! The next 16 callers with two kibbles can have their fish in the mail today! Just add water!

One lucky caller can get a limited edition frayed shoe string! You could even have two of those for the same donation. In fact, if you already own a pair of scissors you could have several!

(we are not liable for any self inflicted scissor injuries, please use caution)

Call in before its too late!!!

Operators standing by.

NTV, you need to have 4kids (and all of Canada, for that matter) removed from this drive.

My goodness...who doesn't know about the Super Bass-o-Matic? One of the greatest inventions of all time! All you have to do is type "Super Bass-o-Matic" into YouTube and you will see.

I mean, if a Canadian doesn't know about native son Dan Akroyd, are they truly Canadian?

On a positive note, I bequeath 25 kibbles this morning for the continued flatulence of NTV's drive. Found 'em in my yard this morning. Of course, we do have a bear in the neighborhood...

[This message edited by CaptainRogers at 7:50 AM, August 12th (Saturday)]

Capt, we're raising EGO-kibbles here. While those kibbles you found in your yard may be strikingly similar, I just don't know that Walmart will allow me to exchange them.

As far as the canadian bass-o-matic thing, I'm just going to nod and pretend like I know what you're talking about.

Forged1, Are you SURE you want a tootsie roll from Ntv???? Think man, this is the master of ALL farts but even he will have occasional "accidents"!!!

I'm....standing... right... here....

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 8:05 AM, August 12th (Saturday)]

Hey now I was never an SNL fan. I know all about the bass-o-matic...Dan Aykroyd is amazing no matter what he does.

We had a massive thunderstorm last night. Rain washed all of the ego kibbles from the eavestrough into the rain barrels. I've got lots for ya now.

Albeit wet ones. Lmao (kinda like your farts)

I'm....standing... right... here....

Oh, really? I thought you'd gluded your butt to the toilet seat after eating the sushi and getting slimy fishy farts.

[This message edited by DragnHeart at 8:07 AM, August 12th (Saturday)]

Now, dragonheart, you know I've eaten worse things. My rear can handle that. Won't even be a blip on the fartdar.

Ok, so DragnHeart has saved at least some face for the folks from "up Nort". But does the Dragn know how to get free beer for life from the Elsinor brewery? That is the real question...