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Just Found Out :
Its across the street

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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 11:25 PM on Friday, January 5th, 2018

Yes, that would be a red flag. She told u this early in the relationship?

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064241
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xhz700 ( member #44394) posted at 11:32 PM on Friday, January 5th, 2018

Not super early, but before we were married.

Asking if it's a red flag was heavy on the sarcasm. It doesn't come through in this font...

Behold! The field in which I grow my fucks.

Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren.

posts: 1586   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014
id 8064249
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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 12:58 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

No, I got it. Thank god some of this stuff is so ridiculous its funny. Better to laugh than cry.

She told me I could take the kids. Flight was booked 5 minutes later for early Feb. 9yo asked if mom was coming and cried and little when I said she wasnt. Thats on her not me, but still sucks.

Going to take the kids to the indoor waterpark anyway. That can be the plan for March.

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064300
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 2:34 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

9yo asked if mom was coming and cried and little when I said she wasnt. Thats on her not me, but still sucks.

And that is why you remain the strong, stable, predictable, loving Dad. And you're able to do this now with the knife sticking in your chest. Bright future for you as you heal. Go make new memories with the kids. I admire you for being able to do this with things so fresh.

I do agree that your strategic plan should be to keep the kids in the same school but in a different neighborhood. Some place not as "convenient".

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 8064351
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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 2:47 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Dropped the kids off after hockey and she wanted to talk. My days start tomorrow morning but normally her mom watches the kids till noon when I wake up (work nights). She said the OM would be home and her mom wasnt coming and wanted the boys to sleep in and stay there. She had to want to set me off, she knows this is my big trigger. I said they could sleep in but that I would take them at 9am for breakfast. I wont be able to sleep, but I showed no emotion. Thanked her for letting me take the kids to florida. Asked if ahe had anything else amd she said ominously, "not for now".

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064360
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Rock, just some quick thoughts. Have your atty run a public records check on this guy. Have you sorted out her ability to divert the financial mail? Watch for her doing unilateral changes of address on thing you should be seeing. Keep up on periodic credit bureau checks. Let the school know what is happening so they can watch for any behavioral changes.

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 8064395
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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 4:03 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Already got a note in for the school counselor to call me. Hasnt yet, should probably call again.

So far everything is coming in on time. Her name is off everything vital already, so she would be crossing some big boundaries. Good point though. A mailbox with slot and opening with key may be in order.

Funny I felt so controlled by her but she is all in a tizzybas soon as I do something. Enjoying this.

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064400
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:26 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Sign up for Informed Delivery from the post office online.

They email you a photo of the mail you are receiving that day.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8064409
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Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 4:44 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

like TimelessLoss said, you get a background check on this OM?

Also, I sent you PM.

The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.

-Soundgarden

posts: 2432   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2014   ·   location: Southwest
id 8064415
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nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 4:47 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

t/I

What the heck is a vagina rejuvenation?

Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23

posts: 1301   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2016   ·   location: Illinois
id 8064417
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Chicky ( member #18622) posted at 4:53 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Think of it as lipo and a facelift for that area...tighten things up.

Google and you can see before and after pics.

Givers need to set limits because takers never do. THIS GIVER DID and because I stood my ground, we are happily RECONCILED!

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2008   ·   location: Planet Earth
id 8064419
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 11:41 AM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Keep your contact and engagement to a minimum.

You'll be much better off long term

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8064504
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goalong ( member #57352) posted at 12:27 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

WW is paying lot of attention to look good - you know this is her own insecurity now, with you she was secure because your love was geniune. Now with the POS she has to be on alert all the time. This will wear out her mentally.

9yo asked if mom was coming

. Tell in appropriate manner what a low life WW is to your kid. Hope they do not like the POS

contact OBS and check whether she is going to give maximum consequences to POS

[This message edited by goalong at 6:39 AM, January 6th (Saturday)]

posts: 819   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 8064516
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million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 1:24 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

What the heck is a vagina rejuvenation?

I was just about to post the same questions?!?! Not going to google that shit! WTF? Who comes up with this shit?!?!?! Now I can see if you've had a particularly complicated vaginal birth some reconstructive surgery but for elective reasons.

Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

posts: 2040   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2010   ·   location: MD
id 8064543
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million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 1:27 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Back to the OP,

You are doing great. Please reach out to the school counselor, they can be a great resource. My oldest was 7 when his world blew up and like many boys ( and some girls) he bottled everything in and would explode at school. My kids' elementary school was WONDERFUL, please let them know what is going on so they can help your boys as much as they can.

Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

posts: 2040   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2010   ·   location: MD
id 8064548
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seekers ( member #46706) posted at 10:09 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

She got 7 of my best years I aint giving her another day.>>

👏👏👏 This should be your tagline.

I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow.

posts: 291   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2015   ·   location: U.S.
id 8064906
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 11:01 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

She got 7 of my best years I aint giving her another day.

Rock, my money is on you that this statement will be amended to read this in the future:

"She got 7 of what I thought at the time were my best years"

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 8064929
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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 11:20 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Feeling really good about where I am today. Its still early, but I feel like I have put in a ton of work already. Going to keep it up. The divorce cant be final soon enough. Looking forward to dating. Going to keep my vows till the last day but dating is going to be fun. Never liked myself more and been at peace with who I am.

Jduff, thanks for the message. Musta read it 20 times. I do deserve a 10 outa 10 and my STBEW was pulling a 5 with what she contributed. I never saw it or cared caused I loved her but a honest reflection shows she was lacking a lot on effort esp with my kids. I can and will find my 10 and my boys will be better off for it as well as me.

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064943
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 12:00 AM on Sunday, January 7th, 2018

Look at it this way. You didn't lose much.

Sorry about the kids though.

Hard 180 no contact.

Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't apply it.

You can coparent with zero engagement.

I have three friends who have mastered it and do very well.

It's awkward upfront but becomes normal long term

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8064967
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 RockstarDad (original poster member #62075) posted at 12:19 AM on Sunday, January 7th, 2018

I think that (almost) no contact coparenting is going to be it. As long as this relationship of her lasts it will stay that way. She tried to talk like we were friends this morning. Not letting that happen. She does not get to have her cake and eat it too.

If they break up someday I will have 5 minute conversations at kids events, but thats about all I intend to have. She has demonstrated she is not worthy of a relationship with me. He egg donating doesnt get her a lot past that.

I gave her 7 years of everything I had. I will not give her one day more.
Me BH 36 Her WW 33 OM 27
She moved in two days later with the OM directly across the street... Divorced. Onward!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2018
id 8064980
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