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Good night 2018MLMM. I hope this is a more restful night.

Talking with a therapist may help also. Your comment in the kitchen wasn’t really that bad. Mildly snarky but really, you could have said so much worse.

so what is her status with her and OM ? Obvious both are still at work together but you did inform the OM wife. I hope she shoves a foot in his ass

Also what is your objective in this ? Unless you think she is spying here, what is your gameplan ?

How is she currently acting ? Is it safe for you to remain ?

[This message edited by Western at 9:28 PM, March 26th (Monday)]

Those are some great kids you have there! It seems the one thing you might have over looked in planning they took care of for you!

It a testament to the great father you are to them! Rest easy knowing you are raising 2 wonderful human-beings

She is going to work for the first time today.

I think it was Sundy night that she offered to never talk to pos ever again. Pos’s wife told me earlier that he was writing a no contact message to her. So I told stbx that not talking to him would be fantastic, and then asked if that meant that she received his message dumping her “well used ass”

She didn’t go to work yesterday, and according to pos’s wife, he notified his program that he must quit the internship.

So I think the idea that she has screwed her self, her reputation, and her family is beginning to sink in.

I need to talk to her to make sure she gets an attorney asap

Why are you worried about her getting an attorney?

I need to talk to her to make sure she gets an attorney asap

While getting an attorney may be a good idea, she does not need and attorney for you to push this forward. Just push forward. Control all that you can control.

I WANT her to get an attorney so this can go as quickly as possible. If she doesn’t, I’m not slowing down or changing course!!!!!!!

My attorney already has the tracking sheet, whatever that means. We will have to go to mandatory mediation, but I don’t care. I want everything done as quickly as possible!!! (While I’m in a strong and determined stage, and not heading down a big fall on the rollercoaster ride from hell!!!!! And yes, I’ve have a ton of those falls already)

While getting an attorney may be a good idea, she does not need and attorney for you to push this forward. Just push forward. Control all that you can control.

Do what you need to do and don't worry about her. She's not your concern right now.

Otherwise, you're doing an awesome job.

Wool, thank you

Guess who was placed on Administrative Leave (probably)

I was checking her location and noticed that she was back at my house. (I can no longer refer to it as “our”). I sent a message to a friend that works there. He just responded and told me that the rumor mill is saying that she was placed on Administrative Leave.

I can not verify this, but it did make me smile. Does that make

Me a bad person?

Not a bad person just human, but maybe acfect alimoney.

Also other man should be degradated as well. It may mean that she es the sexual agressor from employer POV.

Anyhow, other than D matters It is irrelevant.

[This message edited by Mrhealed at 12:58 PM, March 27th (Tuesday)]

Well, she is facing the consequences for her terrible choices. It is no less than she deserves. Presumably the OMs betrayed wife is sharing her story and raising hell in his life.

Fingers crossed that her potential loss of employment does not affect your financial situation.

Just wanted to add that your kids are amazing. Creating a safe environment for you in the bedroom shows how much they love you and want to protect you.

My hat is off to you! You are being incredibly strong at such a difficult time.

Does your friend that works there know?

If so, do you care if he tells or if it gets out?

Just curious... I know I would! There cant be any hiding!

You are handling this well MLMM.

Keep taking care of you and your kids. I know this is an emotional roller coaster, and I'm sorry you are having to deal with this mess.

Stay strong!

Thank you, but I am NOT handling it well at all.

I’ve lost it sooooo many times since Friday. Before then it was merely academic. There was a possibility that it was just some horrible mistake. Since then, well, you all know.

I have curled up in a ball and cried like a baby!

I’ve driven to isolated spots and screamed until I was hoarse!

I’ve punched walls

You name it, I’ve done it!

I’m just not going to let my kids or her see it!!!!

Want to show kids strength when world is burning all around you. Show them that I refuse to be knocked down!!! No, that’s not quite right. I refuse to allow to be seen as someone brought to his knees!

And as for her..... F her!!!!

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 1:53 PM, March 27th (Tuesday)]

2018,

I respect and fully support your decision to 'D'. For a while, I thought you were backtracking on that. Now I see it's full steam ahead.

1) Don't worry about whether she has an attorney or not. Just take care of your side of the business

2) Glad the OM is quitting his internship and glad her reputation is sullied. Cheaters deserve consequences but please don't get her fired because as Mr. healed said , she could use it as alimony. The loss of you and the respect and time with her kids along with her reputation will haunt her for a long time.

3) Try to meditate, drink water, go to a friend for just a break in the pattern. It doesn't matter how angry you get, it matters that you use that constructively.

Logistically, you have done things very well. Emotionally, you are a mess. Go talk to someone who can calm you down, someone you know and see your Doctor or IC for help because you could blow the entire advantage due to your anger

What is she saying to you now ? What is her reaction ?

There was a possibility that it was just some horrible mistake.

Guess I don't get this. You had photographic and video evidence.

Timeless, you are absolutely correct. What I was trying to get across was that even though I had the proof, got sick, etc, it didn’t seem real until after she was served and returned to the house

It’s hard to plan for the emotions involved with an affair and the fall out. Logistics - yes you can put the emotions aside and plan everything which you did and did well. But emotions can’t be planned or controlled.

I am glad you have some ways to get rid of your anger. Keep focusing on ways to do that. Running helps that physically release of your feet hitting the ground.

Your children are amazing. They are taking care of you at the same time that you are taking care of them. They do see you as someone who is strong and still standing.

Now that your WW has seen consequences at home and at work be prepared for her to double down on the love bombing and saying what you want to hear. I know that you secretly held hope for her to “choose you” and to do right by you so you will be susceptible to the fake love bombing. Make sure you see it for what it is, a desperate attempt to keep her life together - not love.

I agree with the others who have said you're doing great.

Certainly understand that this is tearing you apart and it feels like it's a dream and your world is crashing down all around you. That said you're taking ACTION!!!

I also want to say how proud I am of you putting on a strong face for your kids as they need this right now. If you need to get away and scream and shout and cry or whatever then by all means keep doing it.

Please continue to take care of yourself (I know easier said then done). Find a way to release the stress (go for a run, lift weights, etc).

Try and not look down the road as all of this can be overwhelming. Keep moving forward out of infidelity and take it day by day. Do what you can one day at a time as that's all you can really do.

I am really glad that you decided to come back 2018.

There are a lot of people here who are pulling for you and praying for you and obviously to help you with advice along this road from hell.

YOU WILL GET OUT OF THIS AND TO A PLACE THAT WILL BRING YOU PEACE.

Just keep the faith!!!

You got this....