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Home From Deployment to Hell

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devotedman posted 4/13/2018 10:55 AM

LtCdrLost, on the subject of confrontation / closure.

Why would you expect one word of truth that would benefit you out of her mouth at all?

Has she told the truth so far?
Has she done anything to benefit you so far?
What is in it for her to tell you the truth? Make herself look bad? Have a difficult conversation? Put herself in a position where she _must_ acknowledge that she is acting in a horrible, unconscionable, manner?
What is in it for her to lie? She gets you off of her back and continues to look good to herself by justifying and blameshifting?

Do not put any trust whatsoever in anything that she says. She has absolutely benefited herself so far. She will continue to do so. Even if you got the absolute truth out of her, how would you know?

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 11:14 AM

He knows the truth.

twisted posted 4/13/2018 11:16 AM

Just wanted to say Good luck.
I never served, but those that cheat on a spouse that is deployed has a special place of contempt in my book.
This isn't personal any longer, it's business. That's how you get through it.

LivingWithPain posted 4/13/2018 12:11 PM

Good luck LtCdrLost. I hope things go as smoothly as possible.

When you get to San Diego make sure you take a trip out to Coronado Island. The beach is quite nice and the weather is just about perfect. Good eats everywhere.

k94ever posted 4/13/2018 12:13 PM

Retired AF here.

Good luck LtCom.

No if's, and, or buts about it...it just hurts.

And to do it while you are on Deployment hurts even more....


PricklePatch posted 4/13/2018 12:18 PM

My prayers are with you today.

squid posted 4/13/2018 12:22 PM


Best of luck to you today. I'm impressed by your focus, especially in the wake of such trauma.

Be prepared for that all to go south, once the shock wears off.

Strength to you. And thank you for your service.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 13:37 PM

All the moving parts are in synch. The house is done, anything that matters to me is in my possession. There were two bonuses there. The neighbor two houses down on the other side of the street walked over and we had a hell of a conversation. He said he'd have contacted me if he knew any way to have done that. He documented a lot of what he saw and he's willing to be deposed. Retired Navy, still looking out for the Blue and Gold...
We also spent some time with both PC's, her laptop and her tablet. There was no time to assess anything but it's all extracted on USB sticks for later eval. All passwords were unchanged, ha ha. Stupid whore...
Joint CC's are canked and I'm headed to the soon to be former in-laws now. This part is going to suck bad.
WW will be served sometime in the next two hours. The party is over, honey.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 5:31 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

LivingWithPain posted 4/13/2018 13:45 PM

...a dish served cold.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 13:53 PM

When you get to San Diego make sure you take a trip out to Coronado Island.

LivingWithPain, I'll be sure to do that.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:46 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 13:56 PM

My virtual salute.

You're destined to go far in the Navy, and it's excellent that you took swift action to excise this cancer.

We're rooting for you.

Creatingpeace posted 4/13/2018 14:07 PM

Thanks for the update, I have been refreshing this page like it's my job!

I hope it goes well with the IL.

HopeFloats2272 posted 4/13/2018 14:10 PM

Who knew your military training would come in so handy?

When the "special ops" are over you are going to be left with your own thoughts and feelings of the hell you just went through. My heart goes out to you.

This may not be the appropriate time to say this but I think you're going to be a great dad one day and an even better husband to the woman that deserves you.

[This message edited by HopeFloats2272 at 2:12 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

Western posted 4/13/2018 14:11 PM

so you have possession of the house ?

She wasn't home ? Where was she ?

Let us know about how the service goes ?

Coreofsteel posted 4/13/2018 14:24 PM

You deserve better. I'm thinking of you today and hope that this helps you on the path to peace. You're impressing the hell out of me.

LivingWithPain posted 4/13/2018 14:54 PM

LivingWithPain, Coronado is the reason I'm going to Sandy Eggo next week. It'll be like going home. I began this journey there in 2004 and that's going to be my next permanent duty station.

Whenever I'm in SD I stay at a hotel across the channel on Shelter Island right across from the Coronado Air Station. I love it there. San Diego is where I would live if I could stand paying the taxes there.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 14:54 PM

Western I have my possessions from the house. I donít intend to ever walk through that door again. Some of my things were in our bedroom, I had very strong emotions coursing though me in that room knowing what has undoubtedly occurred in there.

ICaughtThem posted 4/13/2018 14:54 PM

I'm going to Sandy Eggo next week.

Did you know that's German for "a whale's vagina"?


LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 15:05 PM

I did not, ha ha. Itís Navyspeak for San Diego.

HopeFloats2272 posted 4/13/2018 15:05 PM

While I have no sympathy for your STBXWW it sucks knowing some poor unsuspecting woman is going to have her world blown apart in just a little bit.

Edited to add: I'm referring to OBS (other betrayed spouse)

[This message edited by HopeFloats2272 at 3:25 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

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