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Home From Deployment to Hell

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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 11:25 PM on Thursday, April 12th, 2018

Witt, we'll recon the area before we infil.

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8139985
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SCARLETT94 ( member #52566) posted at 11:37 PM on Thursday, April 12th, 2018

LT just wondering if she has noticed that you moved half the money out.

I hope she hasn't noticed that.

I just want to say I'm sorry for your heart.

The planning and executing of your plan is keeping your mind occupied.

We're here if/when the heartache hits.

Thank you for your service!

"Don't look back, you're not going that way" Ragnar Lothbrok
Bazinga! TBBT
Sassenach... Jamie Fraser

posts: 383   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2016
id 8140000
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Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 11:42 PM on Thursday, April 12th, 2018

Var is a good idea. Please have removal of your property from home on video to avoid false charges of theft. Your property is your property. You are good to go.

posts: 1094   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2014   ·   location: Hawaii
id 8140007
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anoldlion ( member #51571) posted at 1:00 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

I know that you said you didn't want to see or talk with her. I'm someone who just has to face a confrontation in order to express my self and to get closure on a life altering situation. I have to look the person in the eye and judge for myself where they stand. But I can understand not wanting to see her. Confronting her would also help in trying to dodge her if she starts looking for you. But that's just me. I do wish you well.

posts: 713   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2016   ·   location: NC
id 8140046
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Jameson1977 ( member #54177) posted at 1:12 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

LtCdrLost, just wanted to say I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and hope all goes to plan. You are a strong, confident man. Take care.

posts: 833   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2016
id 8140052
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 1:29 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Outstanding planning and OpSec.

Seeing her parents is brilliant. It will be hard. And I expect you will feel pain. It is important that you mark the end of the M with them as well. They were there at the beginning of the M. The other pragmatic benefit is that she won't be able to spin some happy horseshit story to them. Excellent move to not leave the PI packet with them.

Everything you have done is a natural consequence of her actions. That includes exposure to her parents and the OBS. An entire shit storm is about to rain down upon her head.

You've suffered a great loss. The grief may intensify once all of the operational steps have taken place. In your professional life you would do an after action report to bring closure to the operation. Infidelity requires grieving and processing the pain to get healed up.

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 8140070
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 2:15 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Don’t forget the VAR. You might want to block her number from calling your cell. Have everything through email or text. The other option is if you speak to her tell your recording the conversation.

I have no clue if VAR are legal in your state.

Otherwise, while I understand your going for shock and awe and she is a person who has betrayed her military spouse in one of the worst ways. We have had three betrayed’s here recently make sucide attempts. One retried and did commit sucide. I understand your take no enemies attitude, I believe in it. Consider contacting her parents sooner, rather then later.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8140093
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bellamadre ( new member #60609) posted at 2:47 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

I admire your decision to exit infidelity. I wish you a future filled with happiness and a new partner that will show you that there are women that can be faithful, true and honest. As the saying goes, plenty of fish in the sea. She didn’t deserve you.

posts: 22   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2017   ·   location: PA
id 8140107
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RocketRaccoon ( member #54620) posted at 2:50 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Late into this party in hell.

Impeccable planning. Good ambush plan that should cause considerable damage.

Don't know if anyone has mentioned this before. but here goes, 'closure' is overrated. Seeking closure from a liar and cheat will only drag you further down the rabbit hole. Closure comes from within you, and not from others. You will only be told falsehoods if you seek it from your WW, which will cause you even more doubt and pain, as they will TT, blame-shift, and pull out whatever else they have in their Cheaters arsenal.

As to how you are dealing with this, you are doing well in your 'mission'. Don't forget, this 'mission' is not forever, and you will have to debrief, as you may end up with some PTSD if you ignore the psychological effects (this is a PsyOps after all), and you will be in the blast radius (unfortunately).

Make an appointment to see someone who will be able to guide you back mentally and emotionally, as part of this plan. It is crucial to keep your mental and emotional states stable.

You cannot cure stupid

posts: 1199   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2016   ·   location: South East Asia
id 8140110
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RocketRaccoon ( member #54620) posted at 3:27 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

One more thing to think about:

When a WS 'confesses' at the 'closure' talk, this usually unburdens their guilt from their shoulders, and they will feel lighter.

There is a good chance that they will walk away feeling better than you....

You cannot cure stupid

posts: 1199   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2016   ·   location: South East Asia
id 8140149
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 3:33 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

LtCdrLost, I have nothing to add to the great advice you have been given and to the excellent planning you have done. The way you're handing all this is most impressive.

I would also like to thank you for your service. Good luck tomorrow. I'm pulling for you.

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 8140151
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

StillStanding:

Do strong military men accept a sisterly hug of solidarity? If so, I’m sending one.

Absolutely. And thank you.

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8140163
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 5:14 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Be prepared for her to act like “no big deal she wants you gone”. Do not react to anything. Do not open your mouth.

She does not get any insight into your feelings. Shut her down like Sandra Bullock shut down Jesse James. Stoic. And silent.

It will make your actions stand out even more.

Thank goodness you got a PI. My XWH still denies it to anyone who will listen.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 11:22 PM, April 12th (Thursday)]

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8140190
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TimSC ( member #58844) posted at 5:35 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

What are you calling this?

Operation Karma Bus?

Operation KMA?

Seems to be a well planned maneuver.

Good luck. I hope you get what you need and I hope they get what they deserve.

posts: 396   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2017   ·   location: SE USA
id 8140196
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Smillie ( member #51537) posted at 6:34 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Good luck for today. Make it clear to her parents that you are not really looking for their councel, you are just there as a courtesy. It’s best if they concentrate on their daughter and leave you alone to recover. Hope everything else goes smoothly.

[This message edited by Smillie at 5:12 AM, April 13th (Friday)]

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2016   ·   location: Scotland
id 8140211
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:20 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Oooh its Friday the 13th. How fitting!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14748   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8140234
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 11:29 AM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Her comfy, lying world is about to go up in flames.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8140278
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 12:14 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

I have been following this thread and my heart goes out to you today, sir. We are here for you day and night if you need us and will be with you in "spirit" as you go through this awful situation today.

And thank you for your service...God Bless.

Lala

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8140296
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:59 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Hoping all goes well and according to plan today and tomorrow. Contingency actions in place just in case. Go well, LCL.

[This message edited by steadychevy at 7:00 AM, April 13th (Friday)]

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8140325
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 1:01 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

(((Hugs))) hoping you get through today in one piece

BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2199   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8140327
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