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Why can’t the court just send things in the mail? Why do I have to find a way to have my petitions to the court served to him each time? Our legal system doesn’t make it easy. Since his address is a secret I have to have him served at his workplace. At least there is a court system in our country I can’t imagine what happens to women and men in 3rd world countries when there is infidelity. Last night I felt good about being single. I have peace ☮️ I’m going to plan a personal celebration for May 1st the Anniversary of me taking back my life! What should I do? Any thoughts my SI peeps?

I think you should organize a wonderful picnic potluck with friends and have t-shirts made up for everyone which say on the back:

“This idiot wants to have overnights with his paramour”

And on the front:

A rising sun emblem and the words:

“ My tomorrow is brighter than my yesterday or today.”

Just a thought. Good luck.

How are you doing today Mojojo?

Just thinking of you again today. I hope you are Ok!

Hello everyone I’m doing okay haven’t been on here or a few weeks. FarEast your idea of t-shirts celebrating my infidelity free life made me laugh so hard! I loved that word choices too Ha Ha Ha!!! Thank you! Well here is an update, I’ve been working so much, Spring brings much to do and reading my Bible in the morning trying to put God first. My faith has grown and I’m finding so much peace in Gods word. I’m also very busy trying to protect my child from his Dads adjenda. Time is experienced so differently by a child. I asked my son a simple question to see where he is Emotionally speaking. I asked him, “does it seem like your Dad has been gone for a long time or like he just left?” My son said that it seems like he just left. So even though it is coming up on a year May 1st it could have happened last week in my sons mind. I understand where he’s at. I still wake up in the morning and forgetting what has happened look over to his side of the bed and think where is he? My son still experiences time and the calendar by anticipation of approaching holidays and celebrating milestones like his birthday. He loathes Monday’s and adores Friday’s like all good students do! Other than that he never knows what day it is. Lol When I go back to court on April 4th all I’m asking the judge to do is enforce our original agreements and give our son the time that he needs to feel safe and in control of a situation that has been out of control since his Dad made the first “shit sandwich”!

Thanks for your thoughts and support! I’m feeling so much better thanks

Family court on Thursday please hope that it works to protect my son. After I petitioned the court I knew there would be backlash! I got served papers last Thursday! He’s asking for more visitation and that his wife and new baby be included in the visits! Wow so he’s asking for more then He doesn’t show up for His visitation later that same day! He put on the petition that it’s getting too difficult for him to drive and he wants me to share the driving, and it’s too hard for him to visit with out the new born baby! I don’t even know what to say. He’s such a narcissist and it makes no difference that his son is saying he’s not ready.

Hi Mojojo!

If you can, document his failure to show up for visitation so you can show the court. Did he give advance notice and cancel? If so and he did it by email then bring the exchange with you. Or was he just a no-show? If so, if there were emails about it afterwards bring those.

And you can always testify about what happened; it is just helpful to have documentation.

The Judge is probably going to be upset that he is petitioning for more time and to include his AP and new baby - your last hearing was fairly recent and his own lawyer called him an "idiot" in front of the judge. So just take a deep breath and let the judge chew him out.

Good luck!

You should not agree to driving duty for HIS visitation!

Honestly - he’s just doing this to be a jerk. Because he wants to “win” b/c it’s all about him.

So sorry for you.

His actions are punitive. He wants you to drive to his new happy home! What a jerk. Have your lawyer battle this out for you. He intends to punish you for being a person of integrity because he will never be able to rise to that level.

I’m so thankful that you’re here for me. This crap is so stinky to go through alone! Okay so I will not agree to driving or meeting him half way, no, no, no! His address is a secret which I find hilarious because it’s the last place on earth I’d go!

It is too soon to petition the court for changes to our agreements it’s only been 4 months since we signed. I documented everything! And I mean everything! We use the family wizard App and I use the journal section to privately document his habitually late pick ups, return times and no shows. This last time he was a no show he texted me 5 minutes before he was supposed to show up that he wasn’t coming...good thing I waited at the piano lesson I had a feeling. Tomorrow I just have to print out the notes from my journal from the App and give them to my lawyer. I’m not asking for anything new in court I just want the judge to reinforce our original agreements which are in place to protect our son. I may have to also bring the worlds smallest violin to court and play it while my Ex asks for all he is entitled to!

Why does he think that just because he started screwing two other women that our son and I need to accommodate his new life. I wish you guys could read his petition! He is such a jerk.

It’s all about him! I wonder how long before this new marriage unravels? May 1st is the Anniversary of getting my life back

and exiting his infidelity triangle!!!!

Good morning! One more piece of advice (I am a lawyer): keep adjectives out of your journal; make it dry and factual with no snippy or sharp tone. As they say in Dragnet: “just the facts Ma’am.”

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Another thing about just the facts:

Facts are statements that include only what you can see and hear. No interpretations, no color commentary.

I don't recall how old your son is but in some courts, the judges will talk to the child to get their opinions on things. Maybe your lawyer can suggest that to the Judge? Especially since the Dad's relationship and new baby really affected his relationship with his Dad?

Also, is your child in IC? If so, maybe his IC can talk to the judge as well?

It would be awesome if the Judge put FC on the table for your EX.

Xxxx to pick up child 11/6/18 was 1 hour late

Xxxx to pick up child 11/10/18. Xxxx called 5 minutes before pickup time to cancel.

Everyone is late now and then. Everyone has to cancel now and then.

What you need to show is behavior over time. If he is late or cancels often the pattern will show up in your document.

Judges hate pettiness. Leave it out of your writing and out of your testimony.

How did the hearing go? How are you and your son doing?

Thinking of you!

Court was adjourned as my lawyer was stuck in a deposition in another town. My X has a new lawyer and he was flirting with her and she with him! It was hilarious to watch and she never introduced herself to me the way my lawyer did to my X when they first met. So we all get called into the court room and stand before the judge. We swear in and state our name and address. My X only states his name and says that his address is confidential. Judge asks out loud “Mr. (X) you are asking her to agree to expanded visitation including overnights and your address is confidential?” His lawyer then explains that his address is confidential based on incidents from the past and it’s for his safety!! I almost burst out laughing. He’s still pretending that he’s in danger. (This dates back to the night that I first discovered his infidelity and I said if I stay here tonight You will end up dead! Then I quickly left the house and went over to my friends for the night. I was in shock and not in my right mind! I even left my phone behind. Believe me he was in danger that night And if anything illegal was going to occur it would have happened that night! He filed a stay away order which really protected me but made me look like i was a threat somehow. That has since been dropped to a refrain from. Crazy considering all he’s done!

Then the judge says that she has read ahead into our petitions and with a smirk on her face says that she hopes we can settle this out of court before we appear again in May.

I think she saw the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

My X is so full of himself he was even showing his lawyer baby pictures of his affair baby on his phone. In the parking lot I texted my lawyer and told him that he’s still hiding his address and telling the court I’m a threat. My lawyer texts back, “Good Lord, what an idiot!”

My X has nothing on me nothing! That is why his petition is so laughable. Since October I have been documenting his lateness and other stuff he shouldn’t do. Last night he was an hour and 20 minutes late for his visitation. Why ask the court for more visitation when you can’t even honor the time commitments of what you have? The main issue is not about that anyway, it’s really all about what our child is emotionally ready for and how his Dad treats him. I’m meeting with my lawyer on Friday hopefully we can work this out and my son who is asking for more time will get heard. He has been appointed his own counsel.

I HATE INFIDELITY !

Holy Cow!

At least you are past the point where his ridiculous behavior can hurt you. You are no longer vulnerable to him in that way, so good for you! His behavior is still horrible but anger and indignation is a much healthier response for you.

I am glad your son has his own lawyer now. Be sure to cooperate with that lawyer in all ways, and keep to the “Dragnet” mode of talking to him/her; no belittling of XH or name-calling or adjectives. I hope your son is doing ok; all the missed and late visitation must make him feel so unimportant to his father. He is in counseling as I recall?

The AP/Wife is going to find out that he'll cheat on her, too.

You're a superhero! Keep up the awesome work.

How are you doing Mojojo? Just checking in!