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Backing up what twisted said up there - have her contact your attorney instead from this point forward. Nothing like hearing from an attorney that is not emotionally invested in the shit sandwich, spell out the real business of asset division to a wayward. Kind of brings it all home in a real way, KWIM? Here manipulation isn't going to reach you at all.

Oh man, I was talking to a mutual friend and he had no idea we were separated. He even asked her about me a few days ago. I am considering just telling all our mutual friends what truly happened. Might as well just stay detached though.

BTDT. Just explain it simple "wife is in an affair. I don't agree so I'm divorcing her." If they ask for details, share it. If not, leave it at that. They'll figure out the rest later.

BTDT?

I think just a "I didn't like her boyfriend" is clear enough

Not really sure it's even worth it at this point.

And the first call from her after my lawyer gave my wife a call! Can't wait to hear the voicemail.

Been There, Done That.

So what does message say?

I had a very similar email today from someone I used to ride bikes with, but not a friend really, congratulating me on my new baby. My response, "not my baby."

Normally I just tell people as it comes up in conversation that I had a no dicks policy, other than mine, that she couldn't follow.

So, she didn't leave a message. She texted me saying she got a voicemail from my lawyer and it was choppy but if it's about the car then I should talk to her since she bought tickets to come pick it up end of November. The ending of the message reads 'I know you don't want to talk to me but I really don't want this to be difficult =\'. My lawyer called her back and she agreed to be served on Friday. Then she sends me a text 'k but for real, please let me know if I can come get my car. I paid for my ticket'.

What planet does this person live on? I guess I have to spell it out that all communication should go through my lawyer.

[This message edited by Falc at 7:07 PM, November 12th (Monday)]

If she wants the car that bad I would use that as leverage to have her agree in writing on a quick D settlement without alimony and a bigger share of marital assets, run it by your attorney and follow his/her advice.

Dear Falc,

All assets transfer should go through your attorney. You are now in the process of a divorce.

It's still all about her.

"I really don't want this to be difficult" translates to "I really don't want this to be difficult for me".

The other posters are right. Everything now can be referred to your attorney. You're paying him well to do the dirty work.

Then she sends me a text 'k but for real, please let me know if I can come get my car. I paid for my ticket'.

Wow, she really doesn't get that this is divorce.

I'd talk to the lawyer about how he wants to handle the car situation. It's all she cares about right now. He can use that to get this over with as quickly as possible. I'm sure she asked about the car when he called to tell her about being served. She knows that all assets need to be divided - she's just trying manipulate you.

...If she starts into the "you promised me I could take the car if... Just remember, she promised you to be faithful...and all those other promises she made two years ago.

[This message edited by Freeme at 7:34 AM, November 13th (Tuesday)]

Do you think she wants the car so badly so she can drive to FLA to be with the POSOM?

If so, stick with going thru the lawyer and avoid bending over backwards for her.

Do you think she wants the car so badly so she can drive to FLA to be with the POSOM?

I Guarantee she's headed to Florida.

Talk to your lawyer about the car.

He may be able to use it as leverage. She seems to be a little foggy.

If he/she says give her the car then give her the car.

All the assets will be split anyway.

If you do give her the car, have someone in your family do it. You stay away from her.

[This message edited by Gutpunch at 8:09 AM, November 13th (Tuesday)]

Normally I just tell people as it comes up in conversation that I had a no dicks policy, other than mine, that she couldn't follow.

I think that goes in the quotes thread!

Well! The quotes thread is closed. Time for a new one.

I don't think she's going to Florida but it's a possibility. My lawyer will let her know that the judgment and declaration of disclosures need to be finished before the car is dealt with and it's unlikely that it will be finished by the time she planned to come here to pick up the car.

That will really grind her gears. She mentioned when we met that she can't keep driving her Dad's car an hour to and from work because it's a huge truck and it's expensive. I believe that is why she wants the car but if she's truly going to Florida, then she's really stupid.

Falc, new attitude, "Not your problem anymore".

The game has changed, let the lawyer do his job.

Detach, move on!

You're doing good, bro!