SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

" you were waiting for something like this to happen to divorce me, now you can other women as much as you want, and I'm the Bad guy that broke the marriage "

max2018,

I think I'd have said, "Well, if the shoe fits, guess you slipped your foot right in it. Oh, wait a minute, it wasn't your foot that slipped into something, now was it."

[This message edited by NotTheManIwas at 7:26 PM, April 6th (Saturday)]

I think my all time favorite from my WH was "It was just oral" to which I responded "Well shit, you mean I could have been getting head from other guys all this time and you didn't tell me?"

Of course it wasn't just oral.

Oh wait, no...the best was "I was there to buy drugs and these women pressured me to have sex with them for money and I hated it and didn't mean for that to happen".

I mean, sure, don't we all accidentally pay prostitutes to have sex with us? Plus, dude, where was it cool in our marriage to go to buy drugs?" And of course, he left out the part where he had been soliciting prostitutes for minimum of 14 months, nearly a year before the drugs came into it. You know, probably by accident.

But we can't leave out the old tried and true "Didn't you notice that our marriage was becoming stale and boring and that we just weren't connecting anymore?" Yeah, it's that damned 8-month itch, you know. That first year of marriage is a bitch to keep going.

Divorce is a beautiful thing sometimes.

My ww called me an asshole and said nothing happened. Then she realized she had no way to keep lying. Then it was I’m sorry. The thing is she only apologized for the thing I knew of. I asked her what else happened, oh nothing. Guess I a,m an amazing detective, I uncovered everything,

One other time when I realized she had a “

Guest” over while I was at work, I questioned as to who was at my home. I noticed that the door ro my nightstand and the door in my bureau, where the toys were kept, were both ajar and messed up. After pressing her for a bit, she finally tried to cop to a lesser plea, oh, it was just me, I used a vibrator but was embarrassed to tell you.

If it weren’t for other pieces of info, like asking me 12 times if I was going to be at my office in OK, over 2 hours away. Would I be there all day. Also, the house, especially the bedroom were immaculate. That only happens for special visitors.

If it weren’t for other pieces of info, like asking me 12 times if I was going to be at my office in OK, over 2 hours away. Would I be there all day. Also, the house, especially the bedroom were immaculate. That only happens for special visitors

And you're the asshole

Some backstory first: ex-wife's friend "S" was covering up her cheating for her on DDay. S herself is a cheater, go figure. I caught them in a lie which is how I figured out that ex was secretly out with another man on Labor Day. When ex and S came over later that afternoon, after I'd confronted ex over the phone and gotten some kind of admission, S said to me, "I just met them for lunch. I wasn't lying." I told her that lying by omission was still lying. That's all she said but she was a reeeeeal bitch in her tone. Her and my ex were both just beside themselves that their whole clandestine operation was blown up. I kicked out my ex that same day because she wasn't giving me *any* answers whatsoever, told her to pack what she needs and come back whenever she could be truthful with me.

Anywho, ex ends up staying with S for the next 6 weeks while we sort out assets. Ex comes to pack up more shit a couple days post-DDay and she's still not wanting to have any kind of conversation about what happened. She definitely is showing no signs of wanting to salvage the marriage. She's in full on stonewalling/avoidance mode. So while emptying her dresser, she says to me, "S said I could stay with her for now. She feels really bad about what happened."

Um, excuse me? S feels bad? For what, for fucking lying to me? For covering up your affair and you getting caught because you're too stupid to continue the facade once confronted? And she said it in this tone, like *I* should feel bad for S having to put up my ex-wife for the time being. As if ex couldn't just come back at any time if she merely sat down to talk to her husband. As if ex wasn't herself USING S's guilt to live somewhere instead of paying for a hotel which she definitely could afford. As if S wasn't herself a piece of shit for actively assisting her friend--a friend, I might add, who shittalked her all the time to me over the years--engage in an affair with an ugly looking man from her office.

These two are both trash people.

The AP was a prostitute. Five year affair. This is the crap my WH said.

I have been trying to break up with her for three years.

She’s a really nice person, she has a good heart. You would like her.

Yes the affair is over. But she wants me to walk her dog. He’s not doing very well and she needs my help.

I went to a prostitute so I would not have an affair.

Her ex is a Hells Angel member, he’s getting out of jail for assault soon.

This is the reason why he had sex with her after the DDay1. -. She was crying And I touched her shoulder.

I went to a prostitute so I would not have an affair

Ok n

My brain is broken

Yes, my love of The Property Brothers pushed him to cheat. Makes perfect sense.

What does he have against open concept floor plans and Dad humor?

You know, I've remarked to my wife that HGTV would make a hell of a drinking game. Anytime someone says, "open concept," "open floorplan," "knock out the walls to open up this space," or similar, you take a drink. We'd probably die of alcohol poisoning if we tried it for real though.

I'd like to think that in another thirty years, if you watched HGTV you'd see the kids of the Property Brothers (The Property Cousins, I guess?) saying, "Let's build walls here, here and here to close off all this open space and create some privacy!"

Sorry for the thread jack

Apparently I didn't have the appeal of much younger, cute women. I "wasn't there for him"...maybe because I work full time and don't have time to just bum around all day.

The most hurtful thing said? There were several:

"You weren't there for me."

"I like you...you are a nice person." (Was that supposed to be better than the "I love you but.." statement?)

...and I don't remember the exact words, but said he couldn't tell me about this "friend" because I would go crazy. Duh....

I hope all our so-called mutual friends who think she's such a good Christian get as thoroughly screwed over by her as she did to me.

CatEYE

My XWH's very religious AP posted a picture of the dining room table set for Easter dinner with the caption: "He is risen, we are forgiven."

I still just shake my head trying to imagine the mental capacity it takes to post something like that. At Christmas, she posted a picture of a bulb on their tree that said something about "Have you been naughty" and her comment was: "Dear Santa, It's complicated."

"I thought you deserved it".

The last one crushed me. I'll never get over it.

mlav69

That's my main sticking point when it comes to friends and relatives. They can believe one of 2 things:

1. I didn't deserve the financial and physical repercussions that he chose for me.

OR:

2. I did deserve it.

I don't see any middle ground or wiggle room in Switzerland on that and I'm never going to keep anyone who believes #2 in my life in any way. Period, end of statement.

And that includes my kids.

I'm being forced to accept that this is my new life but I don't have to accept the idea that it's fair or normal.

It's a long story but I got pregnant due to a mistake with my bc pills. We'd been married a couple of years but had never talked about having kids and I'm not sure we would have if it hadn't just happened. But once it did, I was thrilled and became a great Mom. I assumed he was thrilled as well but when we almost split up in 1983, he threw it in my face that he never wanted kids and I made him have them. That was hurtful.

This time his 2 main complaints weren't hurtful, just stupid:

1. I had too many Amazon boxes in the garage. He didn't remember that I never once ordered anything without discussing it with him first, most of it was household stuff cuz we'd just moved in, I ordered our pet food and supplies on Amazon and, the best one: I ordered his fishing supplies on Amazon. Not one of those boxes that irritated him were from things I ordered for me.

2. He was upset that I'd gone on a trip in 2009 and left him home to take care of his father all by himself during perch fishing season.

Obviously, this man was desparate to come up with things to make me look bad and justify divorcing me. He failed at that, too. :)

Remembered another one! On dday of his pa/ea with a 20 year old college student, while I am kneeling on the floor crying and trying to catch my breath ... ‘one day we’ll look back and laugh at this’

No fucking clue.

It didn't happen to me but so many BSs who were unlucky enough to catch their WSs in the act red-handed they get this line

" IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THANK, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE"

Ahh

"What we have is beautiful and passionate."

He had also written to her that the first night they stayed up talking was "the most romantic night of his life."

The worst...was talking about getting her a ring and having her in our kids lives.

Things he did were frankly worse. They showed that, on some level, he meant those words.

Just a few more

"I thought you'd be mad but you wouldn't care"

"I only saw him a few times"

"We never had oral sex, he didn't try and neither did I"

"I never had an orgasm"

"It wasn't about the sex"

"I didn't mean to hurt you again"

They go on and on!