SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was watching something and a character on the show said "You're coming up in the world" and it jostled something loose. I instantly remembered, vividly, how during Blame-Shifting Extravaganza, the day after DDay when I foolishly expected to get answers about her cheating, she threw out the following gem, in response to me asking why she had been secretly interviewing at other companies without telling me:

"I get lots of job offers. I'm coming up in the world."

The way she said that second sentence...*chills*. So much "I'm better than you, asshole" subtext in the delivery.

Anyway, unless there's another thread buried here or in a different forum, I was wondering what statements your WS threw out which you will NEVER EVER FORGET--after the jig was up?

Mine, after dday tried to pull the "I have a monster in me!" line.

It probably would've got me too if I hadn't heard folks here mention it first. So I repeated that same line back to her in Oscar the Grouch's voice.

"You've become a homebody. I've outgrown you."

This was said before Dday during the separation. I've never felt that kind of white hot rage before. I swiftly got up and almost ran to the restroom to calm myself down. Good thing we were in a public place. These statements were the start of me starting to detach and looking for clues because before this I was still in denial and trying to fix us.

I heard a bunch of lines but mostly ILYBNILWY speech.

I vividly remember him telling me “she’s a good person” Hahahaha!!!! Really?!

His ego was so big during his Affair I don’t know how the two of us fit in the same house.

Funny how now I’m the best thing since sliced bread.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 3:23 AM, March 29th (Friday)]

I had “this is partly you fault. Having an affair is totally against my nature. Our marrieage must have been pretty unhappy for make me do the”

I asked “if you were unhappy why didn’t you talk to me?”

Response “I didn’t know I was unhappy” 🧐

After a few weeks of her vascilating as to whether she wanted me or not she said “I can’t stand the sight of you any more. I haven’t loved you since just after we got married. I’m not giving up the affair.” Hurtful? I don’t know but those statements defiantly made the decision to divorce her very easy.

“You don’t know how alone you’ve made me feel all year”

She said this in the month of November. I felt like the biggest piece of shit when she said it then. Now....I wish I would have called her out on her bs. Umm...so you felt like that all year and just decided not to discuss it with me? You pretended to be extremely happy with our marriage to the point of wanting to get our wedding date tattooed on you in September. But now 2 months later all of a sudden you’ve been unhappy ALL year?? You sure nothing changed in those 2 months....?

So mine got back into contact with her high school/college soulmate 3 years ago. He was the black high school running back which is relevant because she couldn't bring him home. She'd described him as carefree, fun, and easy to talk to. They were always behind the curtain even while dating other people.

So shortly after Dday when I'm pressing her, she tells me "its just that we never fought."

I was thunderstruck. I responded with "are you fucking kidding me? The only thing you ever shared because you were behind the curtain is the good times. You never shared any responsibility. Saying what you just said shits all over our real life efforts and the hurdles that a couple has to get over to build a life and family. And, fuck yeah, that same carefree, fun, easy to talk to personality lacking seriousness and gravitas was exactly what landed him in jail multiple times on drug charges the past 25 years. And this is who you seek out for comforting conversation and company? Really does call into question my choice in picking a quality human being to share this life with."

Response? The thousand yard stare and crickets.

Guess she's right. "you just don't understand"

"You're no fun" - yup. Bills, mortgage, kids - you're right. Scooping litter, dealing with kids, cooking, vacuuming all no fun. But still has to be done. If only I'd been available to for irresponsibility 24/7 this would never have happened. The magic fairys and woodland creatures would have taken care of the kids and house and work - right?

"I'm addicted to the toxicity" to which I replied "well you don't put your dick in nucleur waste - nope - I've seen her - yes you do"

"I'm just a horrible person" que the voilins

And my favorite -

"If it weren't for those meddling kids" you all know - the one's who looked in his phone and found out about the A - to which I replied "rut roh" in Scooby's voice.

I heard, multiple times, I know what I've done is wrong, but you have to understand that I felt...

Blah, blah, blah, end that statement with any one of a number of reasons she believes her choices were my fault.

Obviously saying but negates her being responsible.

I don't believe she's ever changed that tune.

to which I replied "rut roh" in Scooby's voice.

That shit made me laugh. Thank you. And Imma say, now that's fun and funny.

NotTheManIwas it was a surreal moment for sure I'm shaking my head and chuckling a bit as I type this.

Another good one he told me was when I asked why didn't it just stop. He claimed it got so dark, so bad, so toxic, blah blah blah.

He told me something along the lines of "if I didn't keep it up she threatened to tell you or worse - I didn't want you to come home and find her boiling one of our cats" to which I replied "let me get this straight - you were fucking HER to protect ME?"

The "things a WS says" are my favorite posts of all time. Yes, I guess I am that sick that I laugh at the immaturity they have.

Chaos,

LOVED your Rut Ruh in Scooby voice. You are my hero.

I'll pile on my repeats of all time:

1) We were stale

2) I'd feel slutty going to a hotel with him

3) Our sex life was infrequent (granted this was true, but she was emotionally abusing me at the time)

4) I was "curious" about x sex

LOL

@ Chaos

Because, you know, we fellas are really good at getting our peepee up under pressure. "Get it up, son, or I'm gonna tell on you."

My cheater screamed "I dropped her for you" at me.

Um...really? I'm glad you dropped your mistress/cousin for me. I guess. Lucky me.

After catching my husband sexting OW2 with my 20 year old son and us seeing the text with her naked boobs and his response...

When confronted by his absolutely devastated and trembling wife and son 2 minutes later with said naked pic still on my iPad screen he turned to us and my 17 year old son and said...

“You would have talked to her too, she has beautiful tits and a smoking body”

To His Kids. And his wife. I swear I heard something actually crack in my head.

[This message edited by NorthernMSB at 8:32 AM, March 29th (Friday)]

Holy crap, NorthernMSB, cajones much?

Hard to erase THAT statement from the memory banks for sure...or the image of her very hard angry looking fake boobs.

I guess my only comfort is that her nipples appeared to be in the wrong place...like they were peeking over the tops...vaguely cockeyed.

[This message edited by NorthernMSB at 8:41 AM, March 29th (Friday)]

the words that stick out the most are

"ya, so I rubbed her".

Like it didn't matter at all.

But the discussion that really still stings is ..

WH was deleting his texts and had said that he wished he could show me that it was just a friend conversation, but he had deleted them.

So I found out about Dr.Fone and recovering them and I thought he would be so happy, he could finally prove his innocence.

When I told him this he said that no it was not a good idea that it was a private conversation with a friend. And he promised to keep it between them.

So I said 'so keeping your conversation with your friend private is more important then your marriage to your wife?"

And he said 'yes it is, she is a good friend, and I won't go back on my promise to her'

I know now that he was in the fog...but it still really stings.

Guess our wedding vows were not as good a promise...

In a text to OW:

"I fucking hate her! I hate the people I live with."

Meaning me and our teenage son! This caused an audible snap in my body and I knew I was gone.

Holy shit NorthernMSB - that's insanity. I mean WTF has a whole new level.