You will know that I like to acknowledge the thoughts you share with me and reflect back what they have meant to me. I have a very limited window of access so I hope I will have your understanding if I don't do it this time.
Also, to ensure that no one thinks that I live this charmed life of only ease and laughter, the week between our time at the lodge and then leaving for the adventure with DD was awful. Just awful. On both a physical health, as well as mental level. Possibly the worst of my life. Other than of course, the infidelity stuff that XWW chose to heap on me.
And, if any WW ever ventures down here, especially one whose BH has given the gift of R, please know that you will never know, or understand, the magnitude of awful that you have inflicted on your BH by your selfish choices. The awful of infidelity is far, far worse than even the crappiest crap that cancer can ever throw at you.
But enough of that.
We are two thirds through our epic Dad and Daughter trip, and already our heads are bursting with more magical moments, more momentous memories, more "dreamed of doings" than any one man should ever be entitled to in a single lifetime.
We have snorkeled what is billed as the best preserved corral, directly and easily accessible, straight off a beach.
We have walked in the footsteps of Indiana Jones. And then gotten to do that again, in the dark of night, with the secret way lit only by a path of a thousand candles (actually, over 1500, it just didn't sound as nice in the text).
We got to visit Mars and experience its "warm" hospitality.
We have been depressed. Very, very depressed. The lowest one can go. Quite literally. Thankfully, it was physical rather than emotional. And at the same time had body and spirit buoyed by a wonder of nature.
We found that time machine that everyone wishes for, and took it to a time and place 4000 years ago, where we got to walk, trying desperately, and surprisingly, succeeding, in blending in with the locals, on the actual streets of their pilgrim way and market places. We even got invited into the home of a wealthy family. Were shown, with particular pride, their elaborate and envied crockery services, as well as their source of greatest pride, and the source of greatest coveting, of ALL the neighbours, the indoor toilet. Well, it was 4000 years ago. It was only just as we were leaving, when we saw the official seals in pride of place on the shelf, that we realised we had been hosted by the king's advisor, actually named in ancient texts.
As an engineer, I got a special treat. The city utility engineer bragged to me about his latest project. A rather special water project for the city. Hand chiseled through hard rock, deep within a mountain. With work starting from either end. Running at least 500m in length. And meeting perfectly in the middle. Had to get my feet wet on that one, well actually right up to my thighs, in the pitch black of the belly of the mountain. It was worth it though. I begged him to share his secret of the technology that he used to achieve it, but he declined.
We were then immersed in the cacophony of belief systems. The chanting. The wailing. The bells. All combining in a positive, possible picture of what might be, if lives were actually lived according to the tenants of the faiths.
We still have to sail a wooden fishing boat across the sea. And sip coffee, to the melancholy tune of a lonely saxophonist, as the sun sets over another sea. Not sure how I am going to make space in this head of mine for those memories.
There have been other meaningful moments. Very different ones. But equally as important as the others. Moments of honesty, vulnerability, acceptance. Moments of intense closeness.
My health has steadily declined over the duration of the trip. At the beginning I tried to hide it. Tried to push myself through the wall of fatigue that hit each day, and not let DD see it. I didn't succeed. Even put some of our experiences at risk. She could plainly see the disorientation that happens when it hits. I could see the recognition in her eyes.
One such moment is burned into my memory. Early on in the trip we encountered a small, practical problem. As many of you will know, I was quite a wiz with maths and physics. I immediately recognised that the problem could easily be solved using simultaneous equation. I was even able to quickly jot down the equations. But then my mind froze. For the life of me I could not remember how to solve simple simultaneous equations. I tried to force the thoughts through this thick treacle of darkness in my head, but nothing. I began to panic. DD saw, she knew what was happening. She had seen it before but had been able to pretend she had not. She gave me time until it was clear that it was not going to happen, just get more terrifying for me. She put her hand on mine, said, "its okay dad", and solved it in an instant.
From then on I I learned to lean on her. She has taken responsibility for keeping us to schedule. Making sure we make departure times. Checking bills and keeping the budget. Dealing with all interactions with others. Only now do I realise how much strain those had become for me with these challenges I have. Not having to burn energy on those means that I have more energy to get through the day, and we get to fill more of it with savouring the richness of what life is gifting us right now.
Is not one of the greatest worries of a parent, whether they have adequately equipped their child for life so that they are able to be confident, competent adults able to deal with life's challenges and make a positive contribution. Well I got to see that I have nothing to worry about on that front. When it is my time to take my leave, 2PP are going to be just fine.
I keep asking myself this question over and over, "why am I so blessed?"
And then, I made a promise a while ago that I have been a little late in honouring.
We have a date! It will be the 14th of December. A little longer away than either of us wanted, but a significant date for us both.
