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Reconciliation :
Song about reconciliation after infidelity?

Topic is Sleeping.
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 10:47 PM on Wednesday, February 1st, 2023

Just listened to the Gaslighter album. She didn’t pull any punches. The song to her son "Young Man" started the water works for me, reminds me of the life long impact this will have on how my kids view their mother. So tragic and unnecessary.

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8775732
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 lilflower1000 (original poster member #36634) posted at 4:12 AM on Thursday, February 2nd, 2023

Thank you all so much for the great responses. I’m going to listen to them all. ❤️

lilflower1000
Me: 51 BS
Married 19 years
Dday1: 8/1/2012 ( followed by multiple Ddays)
D-day2( AP#2):Easter-April 12 , 2020
4kids(18,16, 13, 8) + 2 grown Step kids I love like my own

posts: 414   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012   ·   location: Georgia
id 8775760
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penguin3 ( new member #82677) posted at 11:45 PM on Friday, February 3rd, 2023

My songs are Christian based, no offense meant if this isn't your thing.

Grab some tissues and listen to "Tell Your Heart to Beat Again" by Danny Gokey.

"Love Me Like I Am" by King & Country.

"The Father's House" by Cory Asbury.

More upbeat is "Amen" by King and Country.

Hope this helps.

posts: 6   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2023   ·   location: Florida
id 8776141
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Howcthappen ( member #80775) posted at 12:38 PM on Saturday, February 4th, 2023

Although most of the replies are about infidelity here and that’s not what they asked for - I will show the lyrics to the reconciling song I mentioned and then one that speaks to the wayward spouse.


And for love's sake, each mistake
Ah, you forgave
And soon both of us learned to trust
Not run away, it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is
That's what we've got, oh
Solid, solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot

Oh, you didn't turn away
When the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
We had to stick together (oh, oh)

You didn't bat an eye
When I made you cry
We knew down the line
We would make it better (oh, oh)

And for love's sake, each mistake
Ah, you forgave
And soon both of us learned to trust
Not run away, it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up

And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is (oh, oh)
That's what we've got (oh)
Yes, it is
Solid, solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot


Oh, gone with the wind
Another friend
Got in between
Tried to separate us (oh, oh)
Oh, knock-knock on wood
You understood
Love was so new
We did what we had to (ooh, ooh)

And with that feeling
We were willing to take a chance
So against all odds, we made a start
We got serious, this wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is, oh
That's what we've got, oh
Solid (yes, it is)
Solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot , hot
Solid, solid as a rock (you know it, well, you know it, baby)

Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present

posts: 225   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2022   ·   location: DC
id 8776174
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Howcthappen ( member #80775) posted at 12:44 PM on Saturday, February 4th, 2023

The Wayward song

The Troubles
/
Lyrics
Main Results

Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till someone else was in control

You think it's easier
To put your finger on the trouble
When the trouble is you

And you think it's easier
To know your own tricks
Well it's the hardest thing you'll ever do

I have a will for survival
So you can hurt me and then hurt me some more
I can live with denial
But you're not my troubles anymore

Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till somebody else was in control
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till someone else was in control

You think it's easier
To give up on the trouble
If the trouble is destroying you
You think it's easier
But before you threw me a rope
It was the one thing I could hold on to

I have a will for survival
So you can hurt me then hurt me some more
I can live with denial
But you're not my troubles anymore
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till somebody else was in control
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till somebody else was in control
God knows it's not easy
Taking on the shape of someone else's pain
God now you can see me
I'm naked and I'm not afraid
My body's sacred and I'm not ashamed
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till somebody else was in control
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Somebody stepped inside your soul
Little by little they robbed and stole
Till someone else was in control

Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present

posts: 225   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2022   ·   location: DC
id 8776175
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 lilflower1000 (original poster member #36634) posted at 2:54 AM on Tuesday, February 7th, 2023

Thank you again for even more replies. I’m working my way through the songs. ❤️

lilflower1000
Me: 51 BS
Married 19 years
Dday1: 8/1/2012 ( followed by multiple Ddays)
D-day2( AP#2):Easter-April 12 , 2020
4kids(18,16, 13, 8) + 2 grown Step kids I love like my own

posts: 414   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012   ·   location: Georgia
id 8776454
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Stillsmallvoice ( new member #75342) posted at 3:24 AM on Tuesday, February 7th, 2023

Love’s Recovery by the Indigo Girls

posts: 2   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2020
id 8776456
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HUM1021 ( member #6222) posted at 1:40 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

No One mentioned "Hi Infidelity" by REO Speedwagon? It's another entire album devoted to the theme. "Keep on Loving You," "Take it on the Run," etc.

"Someone Like You" by Tim Hardin (and various covers).

"Gomer's Song" or "Song of Gomer" (two different settings) by Michael Card.

"Your Cheating Heart" by Hank Williams.

Lots of songs by Hank Williams . . .

Me: BS 34
Her: WS 33
M 5 years
dday with 1st OM 4/30/04 EA/PA
dday with 2nd OM 12/11/04 EA/PA
on the reconciliation rollercoaster

posts: 836   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2005   ·   location: Colorado
id 8777558
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78monte ( member #72572) posted at 2:43 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

Remember When by Alan Jackson

It's a song he wrote for his wife.

He cheated on her, they were separated for many months and later he figured his problems out. They reconciled.

Ironically my wife posted this song on my FB page and cheats on me 2yrs later.

[This message edited by 78monte at 3:59 PM, Tuesday, February 14th]

posts: 4707   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8777579
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:15 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

Humorous song about infidelity by Joran and the Long Road to Love. It’s called Pray for You.

BF finds out his GF cheated. The preacher told him to pray for her.

Here’s a few lines:

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray all your dreams - never come true

I love 💕 this song!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 13944   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8777614
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Dragonfly123 ( member #62802) posted at 12:31 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

I’m sitting on a beach, watching the waves, thinking about how 5 years today my whole world imploded (goes without saying we do not celebrate Valentine’s Day) there are a few tears, the pain still takes me be surprise - sometimes, on occasion.

We’re surviving it, somehow, against all odds, we are surviving, he is reconciliation material. We’ve found a new normal. Not stronger, not better, no one won. Just a new normal.

On repeat I’m listening to Ordinary World by Duran Duran. I believe Simon Le Bon wrote it about grief after the loss of a friend.

When I want to cry and grieve what I had, this is my song, in it I always rediscover acceptance for what we lost and some perspective in my pain.

‘Ours is just a little sorrowed talk’

When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where the power is.

posts: 1636   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2018
id 8777619
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Mechanic ( new member #70602) posted at 1:49 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

Remember When by Alan Jackson

It's a song he wrote for his wife.
He cheated on her, they got divorced and later he figured his problems out. They reconciled, then remarried.

Ironically my wife posted this song on my FB page and cheats on me 2yrs later.

Wow, they divorced? I never knew that, I thought she just separated from him. She even wrote a book about it, with his blessing. One of the rare celebrity reconciliation stories that worked out.

Me: BS (58)
WW: 54
M: 30, together 34
2 grown girls
DDay: 2/13/16. Happy Valentines Day, chump!

Slowly reconciling.

posts: 27   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2019
id 8777628
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Mechanic ( new member #70602) posted at 1:56 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

.38 Special - Second Chance

Since you've been gone
I feel my life slipping away
I look to the sky
And everything is turnin' gray
All I made was one mistake
How much more will I have to pay
Why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget about the past

When love makes this sound, babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down, babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you've been gone, I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over, I just can't say goodbye

So this is love
Standing in the pouring rain
I fooled on you
But she never meant a thing
And I know I ain't got no right
To ask you to sympathize
But why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget the past
When love makes this sound, babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down, babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you've been gone, I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over, I just can't say goodbye

I never loved her, I never needed her
She was willing and that's all there is to say
Don't forsake me, please, don't leave me now
A heart needs a second chance
Yeah, you've been gone and I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over, I just can't say goodbye
Please, forgive me and forget it
I was wrong and I admit it
Why can't we talk it over
Why can't we forget about
Forget about the past
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound, babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down, babe
You been gone, I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over, I just can't say goodbye
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound, babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound, babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance

Me: BS (58)
WW: 54
M: 30, together 34
2 grown girls
DDay: 2/13/16. Happy Valentines Day, chump!

Slowly reconciling.

posts: 27   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2019
id 8777632
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78monte ( member #72572) posted at 4:01 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

I was mistaken about Alan Jackson, divorcing. They were separated.
Thanks for pointing that out Mechanic.

posts: 4707   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8777653
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emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 6:42 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

I'm bumping this topic because I came across a song that I really think captures reconciliation after an affair.

The song is The Great War by Taylor Swift. It's from the most recent Midnights album. I'm not sure it's about infidelity per se, but it very well could be.

Lyrically the song is super interesting, so forgive me as I go through and parse it. I actually think it could describe the process of healing and reconciling from R from either the perspective of the BS OR the WS. To be honest, I think the most obvious interpretation is that she is the antagonist in the relationship however it could also be an acknowledgement of how her reaction to betrayal was maladaptive and harmful too (and could be just as much an impediment to successful R). At the very least, it references how both people in the relationship hurt one another and how patience and forgiveness and loyalty by both parties is necessary to overcome. That feels like a really honest assessment of the role both WS and BS play in R.

My knuckles were bruised like violets

Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked

Spineless in my tomb of silence

Tore your banners down, took the battle underground

And maybe it was ego swinging

Maybe it was her

Seems like a description of the passive aggressive process of failing to address conflict and letting it build into misplaced resentment that never gets addressed, discussed, or resolved. It could also describe toxic unresolved resentment built up after infidelity and the desire to punish the WS forever (thereby becoming "stuck"). Sucker punching walls, seems to suggest that the anger is misplaced and unfair. Tearing down your enemies banners presumably refers to the fact that the "enemy" isn't given the opportunity to know that there is even a war going on.

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, sweet dream was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

Uh-huh, tears on the letter

I vowed not to cry anymore

If we survived the Great War

Crimson and clover presumably references that Shondells song, but I think it probably also references bloodshed where there is still love growing there. The fact that "my hand was the one you reached for" feels a lot like how during R, we still reach for one another, even in the wake of destruction, and the promises we make to ourselves about how we will do better if we can just get through this.

You drew up some good faith treaties

I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

Where one spouse is making a good faith effort and setting boundaries, and instead of meeting them there and trying to fix things, the other spouse self-sabotages and isolates and pities themself, wallowing in their shame.

You said I have to trust more freely

But diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire

And maybe it's the past that's talkin'

Screamin' from the crypt

Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did

So I justified it[/quote]

I'm sure every BS understands and relates to being told you have to trust more freely, while the WS is out there pushing boundaries, playing with fire, and taking stupid risks. It is all too common for a WS to justify their actions based on perceived past wrongdoings of the BS, real or imagined. The line about screaming from the crypt also resonates with me, as a BS, as the process of trying to build trust again where your instinct is to bring up the past and continue punishing the WS for the past. I know that I, myself, have justified behaviour that I'm not proud of on the basis of being triggered.

It turned into something bigger

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

Your finger on my hair pin triggers

Soldier down on that icy ground

Looked up at me with honor and truth

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I lost you

Again, I can see this from the perspective of a BS or a WS. It could reference being easily triggered (BS) or easily thrown back into resentment mode (WS). In either case, the one spouse doesn't truly commit to changing until they see their spouses lying there broken and blue and seeing what they are about to lose.

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

And we will never go back

Seems to reference the fact that the old relationship is dead and that the acknowledgement that things will never be the same. It also seems like an acknowledgement of the role each spouse played in the matter.

[This message edited by emergent8 at 6:45 PM, Wednesday, May 31st]

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2124   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8793266
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tooanalytical ( member #22306) posted at 8:42 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

Broken Together by Casting Crowns is a great song.

Me BH 44
FWW 44
Married 21 years
D-Day Apr 29, 2008
Children: 19,17,14
EA/PA - 1 year
Status: R

posts: 378   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2009
id 8793277
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Tryingtobestrong ( member #48027) posted at 11:51 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Little do you Know, by Alex and Sierra

Me:64-BW Him:61-WH
2 DDs, 32 & 35, M-37 years
DDay - 3-25-15

Reconciling, and most days now feel like we're getting there! Finally!

posts: 498   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Northern Indiana
id 8793742
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Squish ( member #79546) posted at 1:35 PM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Fingertips by Olivia Broadfield.

It was from the British series The Split about divorce lawyers who saw the damage of A’s and still did it themselves.

Anyway this song talks about knowing you have to heal yourself. Feeling things break away while your partner is in their A. How healing is hard, but only you can heal you. Makes me cry a lot. But I’ve found it comforting through out.

posts: 123   ·   registered: Nov. 1st, 2021
id 8793747
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Uxoragain ( new member #83025) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

(Pink & lead singer of Fun. I comment at the end)

Just Give Me a Reason


Right from the start

You were a thief, you stole my heart

And I, your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh

Things you never say to me oh oh

Tell me that you've had enough

Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts

We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand

Where all of this is coming from

I thought that we were fine (oh we had everything)

Your head is running wild again

My dear we still have everythin'

And it's all in your mind (yeah but this is happenin')

You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh

You used to lie so close to me oh oh

There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love

Oh our love, our love

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

I never stop, you're still written in the scars on my heart

You're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust

I'll fix it for us

We're collecting dust, but our love's enough

You're holding it in

You're pouring a drink

No nothing is as bad as it seems

We'll come clean

Just give me a reason just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

Oh we can learn to love again

Oh we can learn to love again

Oh that we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

(Mr Uxor and I would both sing this in early reconciliation. It has healing at the end.

I used to be able to nail the upper harmonies. Have not tried in a while.

It was playing over a store speaker the other day. It stopped me in my tracks.

I decided NOT to break out into song.

A tiny bit triggery, but both good and bad).

[This message edited by Uxoragain at 3:50 PM, Monday, June 12th]

Me: Mrs. Uxor, BW, 50's

Mr Uxor, WH, 50's

DDay Summer 2013

Currently Married almost 30 years.Reconciled but working on ripples so we stay that way.

I was here before - read about it in my story.

posts: 43   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2023   ·   location: here
id 8794940
Topic is Sleeping.
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