SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thank you for the posts. I have read them carefully. I've avoided this for due to TMI, but here is something that strikes at the heart of the issue...

My wife is a timid person. She is IMMENSLEY talented, but gets walked all over. She is a remarkable piano player (even had a piano tape out when cassettes were the thing). She has authored 72 books (all but 2 under contract in the education industry). But she gets passed over repeatedly for passion projects and piano gigs as she just cannot stand up for herself. Her Achilles heel is a craving for validation. Making things worse, her first husband (I'm #2) was very abusive, and she fled with no money. Between marriages if a guy gave her validating flattery she would fall for him for just that reason. Now she's going to a famous hotel with many somewhat older artists in residence and she has a very vulnerable person. Very. Easy to take advantage of.

About a week ago we had it out. A very frank discussion and I laid my cards out and insisted on a response. She tells me not to worry, but she also makes it clear that if a fellow artist wants to take her dinner or lunches, she's not going to say 'no' and tells me not to worry about it. After losing the love of my youth I have terrible trust anxiety issues.

So it's going to be a long week. She leaves tomorrow. I like to think she will be honest with me if she falls.

Please continue to post here during the week of her trip. We will do our best to support you.

I can only imagine the stress and anxiety you will suffer with this week (and hoping forward).

I'm sorry you are in this situation, I think I know what's having a high likelihood to happen. I am familiar with the traits your wife displays, because my wife has those and it was not only one betrayal.

If we were in your shoes, and she'd refused to allow me to check in, there would be a empty home at her return, just the divorce papers.

But that's me.

Spot on BackfromtheStorm.

This craving for validation concerns me. That was the whole basis for my H’s affairs. Fortunately he recognized his poor choices but for 30 years he needed that ego boost.

I’m not saying he had constant affairs or anything like that. What I am saying is I am lucky it wasn’t worse AND that when I finally stood up for myself he learned a very hard lesson.

And either he changed or I would have divorced him.

I dont have anything to add that hasn’t already been posted about. I just hate that you’re in this position.