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Betrayed Womenz Thread

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20yrsagoBS posted 10/10/2019 11:28 AM

My story is complicated by shitty health ( two strokes from a, then, undiagnosed, blood clotting disorder. Coincidentally, the cause of the pregnancy complications. You know, the ones so hard for Cheater to deal with?

I am also a Registered Nurse. Still trying to work after this stroke bullshit too

Oh, and I am mean, remember?

Chaos posted 10/10/2019 12:04 PM

Oh yeah 20yrsagoBS you are so fucking mean. You and your damn truth telling and calling things as you see them. How fucking cruel to make that fuckwad look at his true reflection. Damn you and your inner strength. How dare you have the nerve to be bad ass when he's such a fuckwad - because now you being strong in spite of his fuckwad fuckups is just making him see what a fucked up fuckwad he really is. And the only retort he has is to cry "you're so mean" like a small child being sent to his room.


ETA - in my head now I'm singing "you're so mean...you probably think this rant is about you..."

OMG - brainblast! Next time he says that - start singing

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:07 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

20yrsagoBS posted 10/10/2019 12:16 PM

I LOVE that song idea!


Wait! This is Infidelity Bullshitland

I LURRRVVVE it

DevastatedDee posted 10/10/2019 13:24 PM

Just so you know, your Introducing Myself thread had me giggling.

Chaos posted 10/10/2019 13:27 PM

Yup - that Introducing Myself thread should have come with a "do not drink" warning

Sorrowfrost posted 10/10/2019 13:45 PM

Infidelity Bullshitland

Waywards whine, are you listening?
In their eyes, tears are glistening
A beautiful fight,
We're having tonight,
Treadin' Infidelity Bullshitland.

Gone away, is the sweet wife
Here to stay, is the strong wife
She sings out her truths,
Sometimes they're uncouth,
Treadin' Infidelity Bullshitland

In the backyard we can build a target,
Picturing their face as the bulls-eye,
Practice throwing axes 'till we hit it,
While waywards sit inside and have a cry

Later on, they'll perspire
As we hold their feet to fire,
And stand unafraid,
By the comments we've made
Stompin' Infidelity Bullshitland

20yrsagoBS posted 10/10/2019 13:47 PM

Update!!

Again, I am the bad guy, because I told Cheater I wasn’t interested in fixing this shot anymore. Fine, this is how we’ll live.


I will travel a lot, to get away from the stress. He can enjoy vacations in his delusions.

Yes, because spanking his monkey fixes everything.

EllieKMAS posted 10/10/2019 14:22 PM

OMG SorrowFrost! I am dying laughing over here!!

I say we toast to your lovely song lyrics this week

20yobs - I concur with Dee & Chaos on your Introducing Myself thread HAHAHA

heartbroken83 posted 10/10/2019 15:02 PM

SI needs like, love and laugh buttons!

cocoplus5nuts posted 10/10/2019 17:12 PM

If he is serious about changing, he will do it no matter if you are around or not.


That's it! I've said it before. If the CP is only working to save the M, keep the BP, they don't get it. They need to do the work because they want to be better people. Period.

Obviously, the BOs who say they set boundaries and then let the CP bend or break those boundaries, aren't really setting boundaries. You have to be ready and willing to follow through with your plan is your boundary is compromised. If you're not, there's no point.

TX1995 posted 10/10/2019 18:01 PM

Re: doers and why they do things.

WH and I were just talking about this last night as we were discussing Love Languages. He was an acts of service guy - always touting that he was "doing" things and telling himself he was doing those things "for me". He sees now that most of the things he did needed doing anyways, like the trash and that doing them was never to show love. All of the trash, lawn mowing and unloading of the dishwasher was appreciated, but never once did he stop to think what I really wanted. Now he knows that playing a 30 minute game of Scrabble is worth days of his "work". It's funny too, because AOS isn't even HIS love language. It was just the ONLY love language he saw growing up. His parents didn't spend quality time with their kids or each other, words of affirmation only happened when they were perfect, physical touch was pretty much a no-no, (They not only don't really hug on or touch the kids, they don't touch each other), and gifts were inconsequential because they were never thoughtful and returned half of the time. So his "doing" was all about doing what he saw modeled for him. I told him that him grabbing me a new bar of soap when he sees mine is almost gone in the shower is more touching than rolling the trash up the driveway. One he would do whether I was there or not - the other shows that he was thinking of me. Same with filling up my gas tank if he sees I'm low. It's always the thought, never the actual action.

I think a lot of men are doers and fixers, and not really thoughtful about WHY they do or fix - and usually that's because they want to look good to others for doing their job.

I am feeling like it's Friday bc my kids are out of school for a 4 day weekend. I've been having a shitty week with a ton of anxiety heavy on my chest, lots of late nights of tears, lots of snot and tissues involved. I am looking forward to the whole house sleeping in for a little while tomorrow (WH will even be working from home so he'll sleep in too). The weather is turning cold tomorrow, and I'm glad to seay goodbye to 90 degrees. I've planned two fun friend outings for the weekend with other families, and I just bought myself a massage Groupon for next week. I'm so TIRED of feeling bad y'all!

20 years, your WH should consider himself lucky that all he's gotten is sarcasm and bitchiness. Last night I said some pretty harsh things to WH (true, but biting) and he told me that while it did feel hurtful, he knows he deserves all of the anger. THAT is what your WH should be saying. Not calling you a bitch. Fuck that.

Coco - I have had the zero feeling hug too. Often. Sometimes our walls are up so high that we just can't afford to let them in.

Tallgirl posted 10/11/2019 06:16 AM

Ladies, tonight please toast Scooby. She needs our support. Boxer is out today I think.

She is one amazing betrayed womenz


heartbroken83 posted 10/11/2019 06:54 AM

So he didn't kiss me goodbye when he left this morning. He didn't touch me at all last night. He allowed me to touch him and kissed me when I approached him for one. You know a pop kiss that has no touch otherwise....great thanks for that! Anyways I text him when I realized he left without saying goodbye and he was like "sorry...Im running late" It literally takes 2 seconds to kiss me goodbye. And he knows this is one of my things that I said he needs to step up on.

I know he is irritated that the kids haven't been doing what they are supposed to do around the house but why take it out on me? Because I didn't catch it? Whatever...

Thanks for setting my day up to be miserable...I freakin hate that he has so much control over my happiness. I was in an awesome freakin mood yesterday and he ruined it right before I got
home. UGH

Happy Friday's ladies!

Agreed, toast to Scooby!

Chaos posted 10/11/2019 07:05 AM

Yes. This weekend toast is dedicated to Scooby! That woman and what she's endured and thrived in spite of is probably one of the most bad ass womenz SI has ever seen.

I hope Boxer is still hurting from dropping soap. To me he will always be Scooby Dum. SD for short. Because he doesn't deserve to be named - just initials. He doesn't get bolded either. Because he's a tiny limp dick fuckwad.

Sorrowfrost - you had me cracking up! THIS will be what I'm singing this upcoming holiday season.

And....FUCK.

cocoplus5nuts posted 10/11/2019 07:44 AM

Toast to Scooby!


freakin hate that he has so much control over my happiness.


You are giving him that power. Take it back!

Do you think he's sliding back into his old ways, getting comfortable thinking he doesn't have to love bomb you anymore? That's not R. That's rugsweeping.

Chaos posted 10/11/2019 07:46 AM

heartbroken83 Your happiness is not his to take or control.

heartbroken83 posted 10/11/2019 08:21 AM

Probably is thinking we can just slip back into it. He texted me again with a better apology, not good enough though. I am not answering him he can sweat for a bit.

IC cancelled me this week due to insurance, hopefully will be all set next week. I need to work on myself and to figure out how to not let him have this control over me. I am so weak when it comes to him!

cocoplus5nuts posted 10/11/2019 19:02 PM

Speedbump, I forgot to respond to your comment about soulmates. My soulmate was a woman. It was amazing the way we just clicked. Your soulmate doesn't have to be your spouse.

BigBlueEyes posted 10/12/2019 09:10 AM

Good day today, everything going on as normal, working hard then a quiet night in with my boys, they are all staying over for a movie marathon once all the GC are tucked up in bed,

Happy fucking weekend womenz,
We are all bad ass bitches that deserve sparkles, fun, & laughter in our lives

crazyblindsided posted 10/12/2019 12:18 PM

My soulmate was a woman. It was amazing the way we just clicked. Your soulmate doesn't have to be your spouse.

Amen to that Coco! My soulmate is my female bestie! Love this!

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