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Kicked when you are down

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Tallgirl posted 4/3/2020 12:37 PM

Ok. another bomb just went off I have a gapping hole in my head. It feels like one thing after another.

Am I alone in this. ??

Right - Left - Right. Repeat until the end of time.

Events.
Unhappy marriage
Massive infidelity. Go big or go home I guess.
3 ddays
2 years of limbo and roller coaster. Ready to try again
Son suicidal At times.
Massive work restructure. Job is up in the air for 8 months
Covid. For us all
WH says he wants to end the marriage. Great timing dude. this past Sunday.
Start OLD exploration.
Massive cuts at work are pending for sure Now
stbxh lost his rental.

And has to move back into the house. Literally no options are available. He is not happy.

I know this is a pessimistic view. But really. Right now. All at once.

Feel like The gut punches keep coming.

Fuck.

I need a lot of wine and chips. i know there is a positive side to this. Maybe. Gonna have to dig really deep

Marz posted 4/3/2020 12:57 PM

If you eat a lot of Garlic it keeps vampires away so it should work on your WH too Iíd think.

The1stWife posted 4/3/2020 13:32 PM

He may reside with you but doesnít mean you are his wife.

Act like heís not there.

And he wants out of the marriage - I donít believe you are obligated to take him back.

Get a financial separation agreement in place now.

He sleeps on the couch. Or the basement. Or the garage.

No meals for him. No laundry done for him. No favors or errands or any type of kindness. Let him know this is a financial crisis/ arrangement only.

WhoTheBleep posted 4/3/2020 14:07 PM

^^^what The1stWife said.

And Marz

BigBlueEyes posted 4/3/2020 14:32 PM

Do you have to let him back?

Only this past weekend he wanted out, he didnít want to snuggle up for the Covid lockdown,
All of a sudden there is no other option?

Have you got a shed?

What about the dog house?

Forget the wine, grab something much stronger 🍹

Hugs lovie

[This message edited by BigBlueEyes at 2:33 PM, April 3rd (Friday)]

BraveSirRobin posted 4/3/2020 14:46 PM

I don't know about where you live, but in most places, you can't be kicked out of a rental that abruptly. I would think he could get at least 60 days before lockout, and probably much longer. Even criminal proceedings are being held over due to closed offices, so a sheriff is unlikely to prioritize an eviction during a pandemic. If you let him back in, it may be hard to get rid of him for the same reasons.

thatbpguy posted 4/3/2020 15:38 PM

Want to echo my agreement. Do the hard 180. Do what you can to get rid of him...

BearlyBreathing posted 4/3/2020 17:43 PM

I feel for you TGó it just sucks all around.

He made the choice to cheat, he made the choice (during this Covid mess) to want to exit the relationship. I think he should have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Hold your boundaries, look after you and your alone, and let me know if you need more wine.

Sending mojo for the whole thing, especially the job situation.

((((Tallgirl)))

Tallgirl posted 4/3/2020 17:47 PM

The financial agreement is a great idea. Especially as he may lose his job.

Good ideas all

Must find a lawyer fast.

I hate this and I am chipless.

He rents a room in a house. Not sure if that applies. He has to be out I think end of May. We are talking tonight. I have talked to him a lot for getting a divorce.

I am trying to shift my head to being single. Now this. Argh.

He really has nowhere to go. I keep suggesting that now he can be with his prostitute. It is not going over so very well.

I sense another sleepless 4 months.

nekonamida posted 4/3/2020 17:50 PM

TG, I wouldn't trust at all that his rental fell through. Sounds like a new OW kicked him out when she realized he was no longer bringing in an income. Can't he stay with friends or family? Does he have savings to get another short term rental or even a longterm stay at a hotel?

Tallgirl posted 4/3/2020 18:01 PM

I believe she really is only renting him a room. But what do I know.

I have been wrong about so many things.

Money is tight.

No friends. Just us.

Hippo16 posted 4/3/2020 18:49 PM

I think Marz has some of the "Yogi Berra" genes

If you eat a lot of Garlic it keeps vampires away so it should work on your WH too Iíd think.

Why not rent him a room!?


We made too many wrong mistakes.
Yogi Berra

I'm hope the wind comes around to your aft quarter -

OwningItNow posted 4/5/2020 00:35 AM

He does not know one other person???

End of May? He has two months to find a cheap AirBnB. No way you should agree to this. It is not a sound decision, and it's not your problem. Don't allow this.

No is a complete sentence.

Marz posted 4/5/2020 02:20 AM

Why would you want to make his problem yours?

You really donít need a hopium addiction.

Thatís all this is.

Marz posted 4/5/2020 02:24 AM

If I save him now ďheíll get it finallyĒ!!!

Um, not really. I donít think thisíll end like a Disney movie.

Overcomer1 posted 4/5/2020 22:32 PM

Iím in Brazil on a rural property with my house and a guest house. Divorce is stalled because of this pandemic and shut down of everything. My STBXWH is freaking out thinking this is the end of the world just like he predicted. He currently lives in a nearby city with my older sons. He has told me he is thinking of moving back in to our guest house. Because the court is not in session, I have no recourse. He says this is his property and he can do what he wants. This had me really scared for a few days until I talked with my counselor who said that I need to take charge if I canít prevent him, and lay down the rules with him, if he ends up coming back. You need to do the same. I have had to call the police on my STBXWH last time he lived here. I will tell him that if he doesnít abide by my rules, Iíll call the police again. Of course, they took an hour to get here last time.....so....

EggplantGalore posted 4/5/2020 22:54 PM

If you are not legally required to let him back, I would not do it. Please check with an attorney ASAP.

The1stWife posted 4/6/2020 07:58 AM

Maybe the positive side is that you finally let him face the consequences for his choices.

Financially I understand the hole you are in. Is his job up in the air or yours or both?

Maybe having him live with you is detrimental to your child.

I just would explore every option before allowing him to return to your residence. You need to do what is best for you.

cocoplus5nuts posted 4/6/2020 09:03 AM

it's not your problem

Exactly! He left you. You are under no obligation to help him even if he ends up homeless. Guess he should've thought of that before he left.

He's out. Do NOT let him back in.

EllieKMAS posted 4/6/2020 09:13 AM

Guess he should've thought of that before he left.

Also, he probably should have thought about that before letting his dick wander. Just sayin.

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