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The dress

bewuzzled posted 9/1/2020 14:55 PM

When divorce was decided on, what did you do with your wedding dress? And rings?

messyleslie posted 9/1/2020 15:00 PM

My engagement ring is a family heirloom - it was my great great great grandmothers so itís in a jewelry box waiting for one of my children in case they want it. Iím undecided on my wedding bands - I have two - one was the actual band and one matching one he gave me as a gift on our wedding day. Iím not sure what they are worth but I should find out.

My wedding dress has been hanging in my closet waiting for me to get it cleaned for the last 11 years and I have no idea what to do with it. I had thought about saving it in case my dd wanted to deconstruct it for her wedding day but it feels weird now. Although a friend pointed out that the dress would not symbolize my marriage to my WH to my dd but rather be a symbol of me so that makes me want to continue to keep it. Who knows. If I could sell it and make any money from it I would do that in an instant and buy myself a peloton bike or something

Chili posted 9/1/2020 15:09 PM

You might consider donating it - sort of a "feel good" reuse option? And maybe even a tax break? I also hear they often send you a box with pre-paid shipping, so it also might be a pretty easy way to find a new home for it.

Personally, I'm a big fan of selling things with lots of memories attached to them and putting the proceeds towards a something new that makes me smile.

Phoenix1 posted 9/1/2020 15:18 PM

I will be donating my dress to an Angel gowns program. They are given to hospitals for when babies do not survive. There are a few different organizations, and some have waiting lists. So, it can take a while. It is sitting in my closet until then.

My rings? Well, mine is a single solitaire that I quite like. I will eventually have the gold melted down and turn it into a pendant. Until I get around to that, it is sitting in the bottom of my jewelry box.

skeetermooch posted 9/1/2020 15:51 PM

I want to do something symbolic with my ring - it's just a cheap silver band so not worth selling. I'm thinking of throwing it into a canyon or body or water or??? I'll have to research a little. I want it to be a meaningful ritualize that symbolizes a new beginning.

My dress was a dress I'd owned for awhile before we got married and I quite like it so not getting rid of it. I don't feel like it reminds me of him or the wedding at all.

I filed D papers today.

bewuzzled posted 9/1/2020 16:06 PM

I had thought about saving it in case my dd wanted to deconstruct it for her wedding day but it feels weird now.

That was my first issue. A wedding dress from a failed marriage? Idk, feels kind of wrong. Although it did symbolize love and happiness at the time.

You might consider donating it

Absolutely, I will.

I want to do something symbolic with my ring

Let me know what you come up with, this appeals to me.

StillLivin posted 9/1/2020 16:10 PM

Donated dress, hocked ring.

newlife03 posted 9/1/2020 16:47 PM

My wedding set was split up into 3 parts. The two matching bands with diamonds were given to each of my two girls, and the center stone is for my son when he's ready for it.

My wedding dress is preserved in a box and will be available for when my girls get married; they can either use it entirely or take parts of it. One daughter has already indicated that she'd like certain appliques and lace while the other wants my veil.

A wedding dress from a failed marriage? Idk, feels kind of wrong. Although it did symbolize love and happiness at the time

I don't see my dress as a reminder of a failed marriage, but of hope from what was once a new beginning; and, that union resulted in my amazing children so despite everything it had its moments. I no longer have any emotional attachment to it so they are free to use it as they wish.

[This message edited by newlife03 at 4:50 PM, September 1st (Tuesday)]

Justsomeguy posted 9/1/2020 16:54 PM

My wedding band was put into a ox and then into a safe on Dday. I even put a note in the box that it is never to touch my person again, just in case I kick off and someone gets the stupid idea to bury me with it.

I wore that ring everywhere until it cracked, and asked my W to fix it. She never did. After Dday #1 when she copped to an EA to throw me off the trail, she decided to have it repaired and presented it to me as a gift. I think it was an anniversary gift in the middle of her affair. Well, I proudly put it on as a testament to rebuilding, until, Dday #2 hit and I discover the full blown (pun intended) PA and ONS. Well, her thoughtful gesture lost its meaning and became a symbol of "are you fucking kidding me?" I still like to tell the story over beers. Makes me laugh at her stupidity. The ring, I'll sell and treat myself one day.

secondtime posted 9/1/2020 23:12 PM

I didn't wait for separation/divorce to figure out a new use for my wedding dress.

We cut it up and used it to make a first holy communion dress for my oldest girl four years ago.

I'll have MIL make ring bearer pillows for all the kids, and I'll save some lace for future uses.

I did save my veil, which the girls really like. We'll see.


Gottagetthrough posted 9/2/2020 07:09 AM

Iím keeping them for my children. My grandmother divorced my grandfather and we still cherish her rings.

My sister was married for less than a year to her first husband (multiple affairs) and she pawned her rings.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 7:09 AM, September 2nd (Wednesday)]

LittleRussian posted 9/2/2020 07:29 AM

My wedding dress was originally my mother's wedding dress. So it's still at her house. I'll have to think about what to do with it when she dies and we clear the house.

My son wears my wedding ring on a chain round his neck and one of my daughters wears my eternity ring. I've kept my engagement ring as it's a nice piece of jewellery and one day I might wear it again.

Didn't want to get rid of any of it - there were many good years and I wanted the children to remember that.

WowItsReallyReal posted 9/2/2020 10:35 AM

Once my D was final I had to pawn my gold jewelry to buy groceries & medication, since my ex refused to pay the court ordered alimony.
(I kept the diamond to reset into something I like, at some point down the road).

I tossed my wedding dress into a garbage bulk pickup when I moved states.

Makes me sad that things I once cherished became disposable, just like I did.

[Edit to add, my dress was
damaged while in storage- we had a fire & it was not donation worthy, which I'd have loved to do for the babies in need of burial gowns.
The jewelry was unwanted by my adult 'kids'.]


[This message edited by WowItsReallyReal at 10:44 AM, September 2nd (Wednesday)]

Chili posted 9/2/2020 12:08 PM

My wedding band was put into a ox

t/j:

I first read this as a new creative way to "pass on" a wedding band...

Darkness Falls posted 9/2/2020 12:16 PM

Rings: pawn shop
Dress: left it in hanging in my closet when I moved out. I never asked him what he did with it; I assume he threw it in the trash.

tushnurse posted 9/2/2020 12:24 PM

I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if someone already said this.

There was an old member here about 8 years ago that when her D was final, she cut her dress above the knees and then wore in a color run. It was awesome. I believe she then burned it after.

thishurts123 posted 9/2/2020 22:05 PM

My dress is preserved in a box in my closet. For some reason I can't bring myself to trash it or get rid of it. It was my dream dress - not an expensive over the top kind of dress but nevertheless my dream dress. Keeping it is more about me than him. I'm sure it will go at some point. I had two wedding rings - one diamond to match my engagement ring and one gold to match his. I saved the diamond and sold the gold with a bunch of jewelry he'd given me over the years. I saved a few pieces for my girls but they are tucked away. When the divorce was final,I relocated with the kids to another state. I got rid of more than I ever thought I would. The only pictures of "us" that were saved are in a wedding album for the kids sake. Every other one of us together got pitched. So did every knick knack and gift he ever gave me. I either sold, donated or tossed everything about "us", even furniture. It was very freeing.

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