SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Are there any of you out there that would admit to wearing your wife’s underwear, bras and pantyhose? Is it to get yourself off?

If you do it, is it just your secret and she doesn’t know about?

Have you been caught? What was said? Why do you do it? Like what do you get out of it? I mean is this more common then I have any clue to? Sorry TMI...He dug through my suitcase eventually finding my one piece body slimmer, jerked off all over it, same with a white tank top I had. Is this a disturbed mind? I found a picture on his phone with him in the bathroom, shoe off posing his toes in my pantyhose . This will be forever burnt in my mind. Shows a lot of interest in gender reassignment surgery. Always looking for heels for men.

A pair of granny panties showed up in my drawer a couple years ago.....not mine, another pair he bought at a store.Odd right?

I would never do it. Not my thing. Sounds like he has a fetish for it. Seems like a fairly common one.

Sounds like he has some tendencies he’s ashamed of.

Would he be open to counseling to deal with it?

Based on your profile it appears to me that you are dealing with infidelity as well as someone that is very interested in cross dressing or what transgender is and if it applies to them.

Obviously we all realize infidelity can be a complete deal breaker in a relationship.

While cross dressing may seem odd to some, to others it can be part of a healthy loving relationship.... if shared openly and honestly.

Transgender can be difficult to grasp until someone understands, accepts, and acknowledges what is going on with themselves. It could be that he has struggled with this his entire life?

If he is your garden variety cheater, that is one thing. Cross dressing is a bit out of the norm for some. Transgender is going to require professional help to navigate those answers.

I have never had the urge to do anything like that. Maybe he should talk to someone about his desires so he can accept his desire to be transgender or explore those feelings.

While cross dressing may seem odd to some, to others it can be part of a healthy loving relationship.... if shared openly and honestly.

This may well be true but having read Countingsheep65's profile I don't think this is the issue AT ALL. The guy's simply a douchebag who happens to have quite a common fetish imo!

I've always thought that was an odd fetish, heard about it, never thought about trying it.

countingsheep, your bio says you have contacted an attorney and are on the way to D. Are you making progress with that? I hope you are. Your husbands problem is much less about cross dressing and is far more simply about simply being an all around jerkface ass in every aspect of his relationship with you. You need free of that toxic mess.

I've worked with folks who have this fetish. Lots of strait, cisgendered folks enjoy this fetish.... and they aren't cheaters.

I don't know how many let their spouses know. I did know one man who told his spouse, who then used it against him in their D - which was a shitshow of epic proportions in which the bulk of the couple's assets were given to attorneys bc both of them were so bitter. Their children were significantly harmed.

And I agree with the others - the lying and cheating and abuse is likely the bigger "problem"

Ahhh...no. But I am sure if I listed my proclivities, some would consider me weird or perverse. The difference is that my WW knows my "kinks".

Countingsheep65

Are there any of you out there that would admit to wearing your wife’s underwear, bras and pantyhose?

Not my thing but even if it were I wear a size 34 waist with a 36 inseam while my wife wears size 8.

So embarrassing to of posted this question and you people don’t even know who I am! I’m just trying to understand .

Blows my mind to think this is a common fetish.

I have filed for legal separation, final papers are being done for securing me financially.

Blows my mind to think this is a common fetish.

Like most behaviours there is a spectrum. At one end of the spectrum you may have a guy who is 100% heterosexual but likes to occasionally wear women's panties etc as he finds it erotic and sensual and is able to share this fetish openly with his accepting partner who is happy to indulge him, all the way through to a guy at the opposite end of the spectrum who may be deeply repressed sexually, secretly dresses as a woman, maybe even wanting to change gender and is too ashamed to share his desires and fantasies with anyone else.

I think most straight women fear that a partner who indulges in anything other than dressing as a 'man' may be secretly gay or at the very least bisexual.

However I'd bet there are many blissfully happy couples out there where dressing up occasionally is viewed as fun and a way to spice things up a bit in the bedroom in the same way as BDSM or some other consensual kink.

Ultimately a cheater is a f@ck*ng cheater and that surely is the main issue here rather than an individual's predilection to wearing any particular items of clothing?

No.

Not my thing... My wife and I know one guy who is into that sort of thing.. And he is the most unfeminine person ever.. But it works for him..

I don't think this should ever be something to be embarrassed about.. As long as it can be discussed it should not harm anyone..

Nope. but that may be because I have never even dated anybody who's underware would even fit!

But in reality not my "thing".

The other side of the coin is that women have been wearing things that are mens and get NO static about it. Hell way back when about 30 years ago when in their teens, my daughters went to Disneyland wearing mens boxer shorts (with the fly sewn shut).

JMO YMMV

I don't have to wear heels to feel feminine. That's just silly!

(just kidding)

Is this a disturbed mind?

I'm not a psychologist and don't play one on TV. However, it does make me wonder if your STBXH has struggled his entire life with either gender identity or CSA.

It seems everyone has addressed the cross dressing and possible trans situation. No one has chimed in on the masturbating all over his wife's undergarment. Men, what is this? Is it the equivalent of a dog peeing on a shrub? Marking territory?

As a woman, having an orgasm near a particular object does absolutely nothing for me mentally physically or sexually. Secreting bodily fluids onto said object just makes me think of more (messy!!) laundry to do.

I think the ejaculation on my garment would be far more alarming than wearing my heels.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 9:01 AM, September 25th (Friday)]

.. it's the 'putting them back in the dresser drawer'.. that I would question... toss them in the hamper eh!! You don't want the stuff getting on your socks! ...

The human imagination knows no bounds... so anything is possible.

smy

You ask 'what is this?' of a population, most of which has no idea.

A kid ... maybe it would stem from frustration. An adult in a sexual relationship? How can anyonewho hasn't done it answer that?

Besides, even if I could answer for me, that may not be your H's answer.

I do think there's some sort of sexual dysfunction, but that won't change unless your H wants to change. I also think this is less about his thoughts and feelings WRT you than about himself.

What does it mean for you? Are you ready to set a requirement for R to the effect of, say, 'Stop doing this and start therapy with a goal of defining your sexuality and sexual expression' as 1 ___, 2____, and 3 ____ ?

[This message edited by sisoon at 10:19 AM, September 25th (Friday)]