WhoTheBleep posted 10/27/2020 20:30 PM

I haven't been around much lately, as I've been busy with a new job and the long hours of training. (All good things!)

After multiple delays, depo's are happening starting tomorrow. I'm not too worried, as I've played it straight from day one. The most free man in the world is the one with nothing to hide, right?

WH will be deposed Thursday. That will be rough. This will be the first time he is called out in mixed company for his abhorrent behavior. It will be impossible for him to cluster B spin it.

Then next week, a hearing to protect my personnel file at my new job. (WH, who had been adamant about my returning to work, is now trying to discredit me and get me fired? I'm not even attempting to figure this out, beyond that it is simply an attack on me...for a change.) How dare I move on with my life.

This week will be ugly in some ways, but progress is good.

I'm tired you guys. Send whatever mojo you can. Thanks

I'll try to update by this weekend. I'll be working remotely during off business hours, after divorce stuff, to not lose ground with my training and finish on time. My employers are totally working with me, and I am so grateful. It'll be a long few days. Keep pushing, Bleep.

HalfTime2017 posted 10/27/2020 20:38 PM

good luck Who-

Remember, its always, always worst in your mind than it actually is. Worrying about future events is only a waste of time. Keep in the present, you'll do fine.

BearlyBreathing posted 10/27/2020 20:44 PM

Sending mojo, WTB. The end is near...

fareast posted 10/27/2020 20:46 PM

Sending you strength and positive vibes. Best of luck.

Chili posted 10/27/2020 21:09 PM

Ok chica - remember when you had that hearing or mediation or some such where he was on the other side of the glass? And all of us on SI were smushing our faces up against it in his direction? (Personally, he could take a good long gander at my middle finger). Just picture all of us standing behind you during this part as well.

Not that you will really need it because you are honest and true and mighty. And moving on in so many ways - leaving him in the dust on that cluster B nutty mcnutty highway of his.

Chin up - practice your bored teenager look.

I know you're tired - it will feel so good to let go of this serious dead weight as well. One more step towards the prize.

(Your reverse gear is so broken.)

99problems posted 10/27/2020 21:31 PM

My middle fingers are both up in the air, one at your WH and one at my stbxw.
Here's hoping he gets at least a little of what he deserves, and that you do too.
(He deserves bad things, you deserve good, in case that wasn't clear)

leafields posted 10/27/2020 22:14 PM

Glad your new job is going well. Training can be a brain drain, then the emotional drain from all the other "stuff" can almost be too much.

Sending you strength and mojo.

The1stWife posted 10/28/2020 05:35 AM

You have endured enough already. He eventually will need to try and bully someone else b/c he won’t have you to push around.

I’m sorry he is trying to access your personnel file. What is his point there? To get you fired? To get “top secret” information? He’s completely lost it!!

Best of luck on the depositions. Just being in the same location will be horrible. Keep a poker face.

WhoTheBleep posted 10/28/2020 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone. I'll be leaving in a few minutes for my lawyer's office. This will be a zoom meeting. So I'll just see his giant ugly head on a screen, thank God.

The1stWife, my personnel file is very in-depth and contains privileged information as I had to pass all sorts of medical and psychological exams to get hired. I have no idea what his purpose is.. like I said, just trying to rattle me as usual. I had to tell my job everything about my personal life and divorce, so they know who Mr Bleep is already. I'm not concerned. Just tired.

I'll update when I can. I'm picturing you all standing next to Chili with your middle fingers up. Great visual. Thank you!

tushnurse posted 10/28/2020 08:26 AM

Mojo and luck, and prayers, and whatever else you need heading your way.

You got this girl.

One step closer. Just keep repeating that.

minusone posted 10/28/2020 08:29 AM

(((WTB)))). Sending all good thoughts, prayers and mojo.

You got this!!!

barcher144 posted 10/28/2020 09:37 AM

I'm picturing you all standing next to Chili with your middle fingers up.

Absolutely. Both fingers!

You got this!

Seriously, though, try to pace yourself. Don't let it bother you.

I have no idea what his purpose is.. like I said, just trying to rattle me as usual.

Pretty much this. He is digging for dirt or at least something that looks like dirt so that he can spin it like dirt.

The other thing is that it is very likely he will spin himself into a corner. In my divorce, STBXW played the "he's crazy!" card so early and so often... that it made it very easy for me to use the same card in front of the judge (uh, I suffer from depression so it's not a good idea for me to work as much as she is saying I should).

You have to be calm, patient, and trust in the legal system. The legal system doesn't always work (parental alienation is an obvious example) but it usually does. His lies and manipulations will catch up to him.

[This message edited by barcher144 at 9:40 AM, October 28th (Wednesday)]

20yrsagoBS posted 10/28/2020 10:05 AM

Middle fingers up for your EX!

(((Hugs))) you are a goddess WTB!

A sparkly, Bitch boot wearing, asshole slaying Goddess!

BrokenheartedUK posted 10/28/2020 10:42 AM

Bleep--mojo girl!! You got this. Getting divorced is like labor pains--one more contraction brings you closer to the end. And instead of a baby you'll get your freedom.

Middle fingers are up!!

crazyblindsided posted 10/28/2020 11:15 AM

You are almost to the finish line!!! Sending you mojo for today and sorry he is still trying to drag you down. They are pathetic human beings!

WhoTheBleep posted 10/28/2020 21:05 PM

Today was awful. Went on for 6 hours. I cried a few times. His lawyer laughed at me, and rolled his eyes over and over.

Tomorrow is WH's turn. I'd bring popcorn if my stomach wasn't in such terrible knots. I haven't felt this drained since we first separated and I still feared for my life. I was wrung out every day. Now I know why they say divorce is one of the top three most stressful events in a person's life.

Bedtime. Goodnight SI friends. Thank you for your neverending support.

Chili posted 10/29/2020 10:36 AM

Fuckers.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that Bleep. Depositions can be really awful. They are a special kind of animal.

It's also serious kick in the gut all over again as a reminder that this is what it all came to.

I remember feeling everything across the spectrum - tearing up, wanting to crawl under the table and hide - just anything to make it end. Remember - having emotions actually makes you a real human unlike that thing on the other side of the screen.

So. That is done and you won't have to ever do "that" again.

I'll continue to virtually throw up the bird and stand there with a warm blanket to throw over your shoulders today. You're going to get through this and be back on your side of the fence before you know it.

Chin still up. This does have an end.

barcher144 posted 10/29/2020 10:39 AM

His lawyer laughed at me, and rolled his eyes over and over.

I've read this in a book of divorcing narcissists, but narcissistic assholes somehow are very good at finding narcissistic asshole attorneys.

My STBXW certainly found an asshole attorney. After trial, my lawyer literally commenting about her lack of professionalism because of all of her body language (at one point in cross examination, I literally mocked her for it... that was unintentional).

Be patient. Don't fall for the bait. The law usually works... so let it work.

fareast posted 10/29/2020 11:45 AM

Strength and positive vibes for you today. Sorry you had to endure that process. You did well. You are human. What your WH has put you through is cruel and inhuman. Of course his attorney tried to minimize his actions. He gets paid well. But your authenticity comes through. You are almost to the finish line with this jerk. Good luck.

Phoenix1 posted 10/29/2020 14:01 PM

Find your zen and stay the course, Bleep.

At least it is finally moving in a positive direction. This nightmare will be over hopefully sooner than later. Keep your eye on the prize! Freedom!!

You've got this!