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How much money did she make streaming?

NC is very hard, the 180 is very hard. I still care a lot. But man, she has reverted into a child.

Living in limbo with a cheater is harder.

The sooner you wake up the better for you.

Falc:

I know it is hard to see right now, but what Ripped62 posted is spot on. In time she will easily be replaced with a much better person than your WW. Good luck.

@babbu she didn't make any money streaming. She has some subs but nothing has come in yet. She's really embracing this #sadgirl thing, saying how she's so depressed. Makes me feel really bad. I just want to talk to her and say "Im here, I want to help. Come home". I know it's wrong, but this NC thing is making me feel really, really bad. And I know I shouldn't because she left and her actions were terrible. It's where my mind is right now, she kicked me out of her Discord chat which is just so weird to me and I don't know why it's bothering me so much.

Just feels like every action I've done has been wrong and nothing will make her come back, no matter what I do. I know that NC is for me, but it's so hard right now. Sleeping has been getting progressively harder for me too, I just see her constantly in my thoughts.

It just seems that my pain is getting bigger, no matter how much NC I do. I just want it to go away.

EDIT - People are telling me she also deleted pics of me off her Instagram. What the FUCK is going on.

[This message edited by Falc at 10:51 AM, October 6th (Saturday)]

EDIT - People are telling me she also deleted pics of me off her Instagram. What the FUCK is going on.

She wants to erase you from her life and doesn't want her new boyfriend to see pictures of you two together.

nothing will make her come back, no matter what I do.

True. You need to accept that.

She left because she wanted to. If she comes back it will because she wants to. Not because of anything you say or do.

She's sad and broken but she looked to OM for help.

If you break NC it won't help. Any contact needs to come from her and if/when it does be prepared that it could be to say a final goodbye, or it could be to she wants to work on things. Right now she is the star in her OM, family, #sadgirl fantasy world.

Since she is shedding you from her various devices and platforms you should not look for pain by checking her out.

PS You mentioned that you bought a house 3 months ago. Are you both paying for the house? Did she just walk away from it? Are you both on the loan? What does her running away mean for the house, can you afford it without her?

Yes, she is on the loan. Yes, I can afford to pay the house payments by myself, but she up and left with me with every bill that I have to pay for myself now.

GET. A. LAWYER.

Yes get yourself a lawyer. They will help you know your rights and your wife won’t be able to run away from her responsibilities in paying her share of the bills. Under some circumstances I would say wait, but she is showing such lack of empathy and such immaturity. You need to stand up for yourself.

I have a lawyer, I understand my rights.

I wrote down a list of the things she's done to wrong me and I'm keeping it in my pocket:

1. Cheated

2. Lied

3. Mixed messages - leaving me in limbo

4. Ran away immediately

5. No communication about her feelings

6. Blaming me for cheating

7. Making me out to be the bad guy

8. Ignoring me

9. Left me with all the bills and payments

10. Potentially lied for years

11. Got pissed at me for not letting her take the car when it's in my name and she doesn't have a job

12. Not facing herself, escaping through gaming all day

13. Kicked me from her Discord chat server

14. Removed pics of me from Instagram

15. Selfish, completely thinking about herself

16. Sexting

17. Lies about loving me

18. No consequences for her

19. Making me out to be a horrible person to justify her actions

20. Treating me like a piece of shit

21. Not caring about my feelings at all

22. Still talking to the guy (probably)

23. Not realizing how supportive I've been - Paid for her car, got her a new PC so she could stream, encouraged her to start streaming, my Dad paid thousands of dollars in her dental bills to fix her teeth

24. Dropped me like I'm nothing

25. Wasted 7.5 years of my life without trying to talk and fix seriously

26. Only cares about herself and how things affect her

27. Internalized rather than communicated

28. Says I need therapy but she won't go

29. Too cowardly to be honest with me about divorce or needing time

30. Almost mistakenly moaned out his name during sex

31. Sex was just for her, not making love

32. No consequences for her - where are her consequences?

[This message edited by Falc at 2:30 PM, October 6th (Saturday)]

And what conclusions have you come to with this list?

It should be your wake up call. Use this list to embolden yourself to do everything you need to distance yourself from this (child) woman!

Falc, detaching is the best thing you can do at this point. It’s the first step toward healing. Your wife isn’t your responsibility anymore. She walked out on your marriage and shit all over it in every turn. Your best bet is cut her out of all finances and start taking care of yourself. Instead of obsessing about what she’s doing, go to the gym , hang out with friends and family . These things will keep your mind off of what your wife is doing. Do the hard 180.

I have been detaching. I just have moments of weakness. I went to a boat party last night with some friends. Having the list in my pocket helped some. I have not broken NC. It just hurts so bad and makes me so sad that she's removing me from her life in all aspects. I have done so much for her to improve her life and she just completely disregards it. I know I don't deserve this, it just makes me so sad. I am going to church today with another friend for the first time in years. I'm not really religious but I need to be around people. I don't fucking deserve to be treated like this and it makes me feel so godamn sad.

It looks like she is removing all reminders and evidence of you from her electronic life.

She is choosing all others over you. She has made her choice.

You need to accept that you are not a priority to her and that your marriage is dead.

Your priority should be getting Mom's ring returned.

[This message edited by TimSC at 11:26 AM, October 7th (Sunday)]

I took off my wedding ring today. I don't know how I feel about it. I am still so godamn sad.

You'll be fine. You have no idea how lucky you are. Short marriage no kids.

Be thankful. You will see this later.

Yeah, I mean holy shit. Some of the stories I see on here. 25-30 years of marriage, kids, etc. How the hell do you even start over like that? I am lucky and I am young. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less and it doesn't mean that I am not broken. But if someone who went through that can heal, maybe I can too.

You will get through this!!!

Time and no contact is your best friend right now.

Yep, I'm staying NC. I might still meet up with her in a couple weeks but I'm not sure right now. The only reason I would is that we agreed on it before she left.

I understand but you owe her nothing and yourself everything.