SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just remember no good deed you do in this situation will go unpunished.

Keep the keys if you have paid for the car and have proof. If she is so adamant in her actions and reactions you have to take appropriately strong actions.

She paid the car off years ago and it’s titled to her. But I’llgive her the car and ride my motorcycle untili can get a car. But I’ll make sure to show the judge her texts about this and other situations.

I kind of had a feeling this would happen. Tit for tat with an unreasonable person.

She is showing you who she really is. Believe her.

So get her to show her cards, call her bluff.

Buffer

I was working out of town and didn’t make it back home. Why would I be in a hurry to go back home. This woman is flipping out Scott me bringing her car back. I ignored her texts. She wakes up texting me about her car. Says that I have done everything I could to spite her in the last month. Still no responsibility for her actions. It’s all my fault she went to another guy. Then send me the most vile text message comparing me to her AP. The funny thing is that shit was so comical. Not even realistic. I just laughed to myself and went back to block her. I had unblocked her to slow her to keep sending me crazy texts that I can use in court. But now this is a hard block. Won’t be removed. I really don’t understand why this woman doesn’t understand and get that she is the cause. I haven’t done anything spiteful yet. But I well today when I cancel the car insurance in her car today. I know that’s not really spiteful considering we are in the process of a divorce. But she just doesn’t get it. Well when they are riding around in her car with no insurance hopefully they will get pulled over and both get taken to jail.

Yeah not sure why you are still engaging with her unless it gives you amusement, which I doubt.

My response to her craziness would always be “you fired me as your partner and lover for someone you obviously care about more. I wish you well in your life with him. I will be working on my own to heal from the pain of your infidelity “.

Nothing more, implement the 180. I know he has probably dumped her but that’s not your problem. Whether she’s with him or not keep tell her that she obviously loves him more than you do you are letting her go follow her dream. Make her see the reality of a life without you.

I cant remember but did you ever talk to his significant other, the OBS? If not might be worth doing so .

What’s the next step in your D process?

[This message edited by Stevesn at 6:25 AM, February 27th (Thursday)]

Sorry you're here Rynoz,

You picked a great place to post, you will receive great advice here from the members that have been through it all.

I have to say, you seem like you're thinking more rationally than most in your situation and avoiding the pick me dance is a great start. Look into the 180 and hang in there!

She really wants me to keep quiet about what’s going on. Everyone doesn’t need to know our business. I guess there is merit in that.

Sure there's merit in that......FOR HER!!!

Please stop allowing her to dictate even the most insignificant aspect of this situation. The rational part of her brain knows that she is a terrible person and if people found out, they would agree with this. She's trying to save face.

Well I am not engaging her. I don’t think. I passed along information to her like this is a business transaction. She lashes out at me because I’m not going along with her plan or following her script. Right now my behavior is out of character and I believe she’s trying to snap me back so I can be more predictable. I’m not falling for it we are going to get this transaction out of the way and I’m going to put you right back where I found you. She is not going to come out of this smelling like a rose like she thinks.

She said after a few choice words via text that I won’t be driving her car while she has to drive without insurance. And that I’m doing all of this because I’m bitter. Nothing to do with her actions. This is almost getting comical her predictable reactions and word choices.

Yep. She's really selling that reconciliation plan, isn't she.

I think it's safe to say she's going to be an adversary in this divorce from here on out. She doesn't like that you're not doing what she planned at all.

Definitely screen shot or back up those text messages for your attorney.

rynoz,

At the end she told the counselor that she was still seeing this man and I probably needed to talk about how to work thru that.

The explanation for her behavior now is here in the statement she made to the therapist back on page one of your thread. That is straight out of the book for some non monogamy forum or polyamory forum.

But now you are an ass hole for not working through it. Her entire plan was based on you accepting the above premise. What has transpired is a natural progression of you not doing your part for her happiness. Thank heavens you were too smart and had too much dignity and pride in yourself.

Stay the course

Well I am not engaging her. I don’t think. I passed along information to her like this is a business transaction. She lashes out at me because I’m not going along with her plan or following her script. Right now my behavior is out of character and I believe she’s trying to snap me back so I can be more predictable. I’m not falling for it we are going to get this transaction out of the way and I’m going to put you right back where I found you. She is not going to come out of this smelling like a rose like she thinks.

You have become the new paradigm. Stay with it to the end. She doesn't get to unilaterally change the rules of your marriage. Who the hell does she think she is? Entitlement personified.

Double post

[This message edited by Westway at 10:09 AM, February 27th (Thursday)]

It’s all my fault she went to another guy. Then send me the most vile text message comparing me to her AP. The funny thing is that shit was so comical.

Great info to save and have to use against her.

When you take the cake away from from a cake eater expect the crazy to come out.

Stock up on popcorn !!!!!!

Buffer can you elaborate?

Maybe you didn't get to snapshot those messages between her and her AP but her entitlement tantrum to you is spewage gold for you family and friends to truly see that side of her. Back up those texts. They will come in handy later!

Ok. So I got home. She wanted her back that I had been driving. I got back after she got home from work with it. She actually had her father call me to deliver a message about me bringing her car. I exploded on him because he was going to attempt to lecture me on some bullshit about his daughter. I told him he needed to talk to his daughter and not me. I told him he should know when you go thru a divorce you separate your finances. I told him so I’m not being petty or vindictive. That he should know these things. Then I hung up on him. I get home and it’s like she’s waiting on me to get in the door. I put the keys on the counter and walked out to the garage. Ignoring her as she followed me out talking shit about her car and I cancelled her car insurance. I didn’t bother to tell her that it isn’t cancelled yet. It will be midnight tomorrow. But on my way home I stopped and bought some wood to use in the firepit. She was so annoyed that she couldn’t get much of a reaction out of me that she told me that I couldn’t use her firepit. I ignored her and built the firepit. She comes out of the room and comes outside and gets the water hose and puts it out. I am laughing at her thinking this is all you have? So I video her doing this dumb shit. She knows I’m videoing her and she still does it anyway. So I still laugh. I don’t know if it’s an outside laugh or inside laugh. But I think how stupid. So I go inside and she says can you please put my firepit away? I just ignored her and went to the back of the house. Now it’s quiet again but I just think that that was all she had? Call me a few names and talk about my manhood which is standard fare for some people when they get mad. But why be so mad? You caused this. I am reacting to your actions. Well the process marches on.