SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Praying for you today. Stay strong and believe you deserve better than this, no matter how much she bawls. Even if you want to reconcile. In your case, she needs separation to shock the crap out of her entitlement.

Be warned - if she says she doesn't want to leave, and you say you want her to leave, and then she doesn't leave, and then you stay in the house, she might call the police and tell them she feels "frightened" by your presence. And then the police might come to tell you to better leave the premises unless you want to go with them to the police station etc.

The above situation might or might not happen. Just don't let anything catch you by surprise, and it's imperative you remain calm at all times. I also recommend that if she will not want to leave the house, that you leave the house and go to your brothers (while you're waiting for her to return, make a list of valuable items in the house, take pictures -> if she pawns any off, you'll have proof). Then Monday morning you go straight to the lawyer to file.

Please, don't let false sense of pride get you in legal trouble with the police. She ain't worth it!

Best wishes

I am glad you have thought things out.

Just be prepared for everything and everything and then decisively end it tonight.

Regarding your brother, I have mixed feelings on this. I guess as long as he knows that if she returns alone, he is to leave. If not, then he stays but don't lead with the fists. Just have a witness there and if the other guy starts, it's game on.

Hobbes may be right in that if she refuses to leave (and I would kick her out too), have that VAR on you. Walk away and file in the morning. Get that other VAR out of her car since it has worked the weekend.

Then show up periodically throughout the week and even stay a night or two and keep her off balance and let her guess what you are doing. If the other guy shows up, tell him to leave and call the cops and have him charged with trespassing if he refuses. Get a restraining order against him.

Did you talk to your landlord yet ? Any valuables removed yet ? Documents ?

Let us know.

My brother and a couple of my friends can't make it, so I guess it's just me and my VAR.

I'm not going to get prideful or violent.

I am just anxious to get this over with. I need to get on with my life.

I did get important documents into my car. I've also photographed valuables and made an inventory of our possessions.

On the positive side of things, I managed to get about 5 hours of sleep on and off napping this morning. That felt pretty good.

Why don't you go to a hotel then see the attorney tomorrow.

They are not worth you future. Let him have her.

OM is nuts and there is a reason he is single and needs to go after someone's wife.

She will get what she deserves as he will be controlling.

I would keep any conversation short, and I would not raise your voice.

Honestly, I think leaving her a note and going to a hotel and seeing the attorney tomorrow is good advice

I don't have the money for a hotel until Friday.

Although, I still have access to the joint account. I am entitled to half of the balance...

Sending strength brother

Can you stay with your brother or someone else.

Stay away from conflict. Just start working on you and your future.

I've really got to stop the hyper vigilance. I know it's mostly just pain shopping. But, the impulse is so strong.

In this case though, it just came in handy. She left her tablet at home. It's not locked. I went into her Chrome history for all devices.

She found the VAR. She was looking it up on Google this morning. The exact model I used. And now, she's looking up spy cameras to but for herself.

Whatever she's planning to do with a spy camera, it can't be good. I think the suggestions that I just disappear, file and never be heard from again are what I should do at this point. What do y'all think?

Can you go stay with your brother or friends for the night?

She found the VAR. She was looking it up on Google this morning. The exact model I used.

Did you use a credit card? Any chance she just saw that you bought it and did not find the actual device? Since she isn't going nuts with the text messages and calls right now I wouldn't trust what the VAR says on it.

I used a debit card. On my own account. She does not have access to it.

I think it's wise to leave and stay gone. I don't like the idea of her buying a spy camera. Make sure your son knows he can always depend on you and peace out.

Can you electronically move one half of the funds in your joint account to your own account today before she gets back? If not, be sure to move them first thing tomorrow morning as soon as the bank opens, especially if you are going to leave the apartment and file. Good luck!

The law will favor her. The fact she is looking for a spy camera tells you she will stay with OM.

Get out and let her move out without conflict.

Leave, go stealth, file for divorce, move half the money.

Remember... The OM is saving her from horrible, mean, controlling you. They see the VAR as confirmation of all the bad things she has said about you.

Can you take your son with you?

k9

She will be angry that you are spying on her, I doubt it will ever come to anything, however, because it might be a crime, I don't suggest admitting to it, also I don't suggest lying to it, just do not say anything at all. I know you are going to be angry, upset, you are going to want to tell her you're done, however, I think you shouldn't even talk to her at all, except to reply to her, and then only to tell her that you don't want to say to her anymore. If she confronts on you about the VAR, just tell her that you don't want to talk about it, tell her you don't want to talk to her at all, tell her you will not talk to her about marriage with you until she has ended the affair and has done so that you can prove it. Otherwise, stop interacting with her. Stay in different rooms. Tell her you want her to go live with the other man full time.

Don't make more drama than it has to be. I know that you had some hopeful wishing somehow that your wife was going to come back and tell her that this affair was ended and she would somehow turn back into her "normal" self, BUT this was never a realistic conclusion to this. She is gone, she has been gone, you only are handling onto the memory of she used to be. Let her go.

She's not worth the opportunity to see you when she comes "home". Transfer the money, if you can. Take documents and personal items. Ask your son if he wants to go with you. Go to your brother/friends and let her wonder what will hit her next.

If you're not there, she can't manipulate you.

Best wishes