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Several years as I did also. He never appeared to be attracted to her and says he never really was. He remembers that she kissed him on the cheek once and I guess that’s when he knew she likes him. I wasn’t there for that naturally. He always gave me the impression that she got in his nerves.

I believe he probably wasn’t interested until she showed interest. I’m pretty sure he would have been agreeable to anyone that was willing to spread their legs. He was pretty screwed up at the time.

I got some clarification on this yesterday. My fch knew of the MOW from the gym for months, but didn't interact with her. She wasn't on his radar at all. But, once she started emailing and texting him, it moved relatively quickly. Within a few days, they were flirting. A few more days and they were sexting. Maybe a week or so and they had their first sexual encounter. All of that happened within the course of about a month.

In the 12th month of our M, and I think before our 1st anniversary, AP1 flirted with W. In month 13, they had sex. After being caught, 12 months later she had sex with AP 2. After being caught, she went back to AP1. When he wasn’t available (and sometimes even when he was), she would find another AP. AP1 has been in our 30 year M for 29 years, sometimes at arm’s length, sometimes porking my WW, and the other times somewhere in between. I’m not sure I can get over AP1.

Which one?

Seriously, OW#1 turned down he request for sex.

AP#2 he began grooming the day they met

AP#3 he had a few classes with. A few semesters later, he started culling her from their classmates so he could speak to her alone

5 years. He worked with her. We used to hang out and she helped plan our wedding. I think I remember him saying he didn’t find her that attractive although I can’t remember if this was before or during the affair as a tactic to throw me off.

I think I remember him saying he didn’t find her that attractive

I heard that one, too. I think it was the truth, though. The MOW is definitely not my fch's type.

My xwh knew AP1 for about 8 weeks. And 'fell in love' with her and blew up his whole life for the little slut. SMH.

I had the honor of being married to a serial cheater so we had a range.

There was one he met while visiting a friend who was camping. He knew her for a couple hours before banging her in a bathroom stall. Very classy.

Then there were others we both knew for years before anything happened. Mothers of my child's friends. He'd send flirty messages, but nothing to obvious to gauge their reaction. He managed to have sex with at least two. When I broke into his Facebook account, I was horrified to see the number of women he contacted trying his bullshit that just weren't receptive. At least it gave me a little faith that most people aren't complete whores.

There were three that I know of.

#1 was a 54 year old woman in 2005 when WH was 29. She worked in the office of the cable installation company he worked for. He was there for about a year and I honestly don’t know when their flirting started.

#2 was is a girl 19 years younger than my WH. She’s known him since she was 18. They both got their job at the factory at the same time and were in orientation class together. He rode to the aptitude test site together because we didn’t have a car at the time. He worked with her from 2011 until Nov 2018. I have no idea when they started flirting. She has one year old twin boys. He said they started texting about her abusive baby daddy and it turned to sexting for about a month.

#3 is a 24 year old girl that my 47 year old WH supervises at work. She started 4 months ago. Apparently all it took for him to try to get into her pants was someone telling him, “She thinks you’re hot!” He was on her like flies on shit. Sexting, hanging out in the parking lot of their job kissing, planning to fuck at a motel.

My husband worked at the same office as COW for several years prior to D-Day though their paths didn't cross much outside of work social events. I had met her and didn't think much of her other than that she was very basic/boring (how wrong I was....). They started casual flirting during these social events 6-7 months before things got physical. My husband knew it wasn't right but also told himself that he would never cross a line and it was safe because she was married. At the outset of their relationship, she was very much the initiator (both agree upon this) - please note that I do not think that this absolves him of culpability in ANY way whatsoever.

The first line got crossed when they were both drunk at their Christmas party and danced on the dance floor. They talked about it afterwards and said they were embarrassed and it was not okay and would never happen again. Apparently she confessed this to her husband. No one told me.

3 months later during a workplace ski trip, she confided to him that she fantasized about him. He said it turned him on and certainly changed the way he thought about her, but he didn't do anything about it. That said, he couldn't get it out of his head. They continued to flirt. This was a month before we were married.

3 months later after another work event where there was drinking and where they had flirted, she texted him as he was leaving the event in a cab, that her husband was out of town for the weekend and he should come over. He told her that he couldn't as I would be expecting him home. By then, he concedes that he wanted to.

At another event a week later, they left a birthday party for a mutual coworker early and met at a nearby club where they drank together and danced together. He walked her some of the way back to her apartment. There was some petting but no kissing.

About a month later, they had an out-of-town work-retreat. She made a point to tell him that she had a room to herself (he was sharing with a male colleague). They never actually discussed the fact that they would hook up then, but he said he knew they would before he left. Spoiler alert - they did.

After that, it was full-on.

They met 3 or 4 months after we got married. A month later started the affair and lasted more than a year, when they already had a 3 month child. We had none yet. We were the newlyweds, but they were the ones on honeymoon. After 2 months of fake R, he left me for her. Yep, great life.

About 8 years. His secretary

My WW knew her AP for about 25 years before the affair(he was only 10, and she was 15 when she first met him!)

She told me recently she 'had a thing for him' since he turned 18... and often thought 'how it would be with him'

This is an interesting topic. As far as I know he met OW about 5 years prior when she moved to town and started working for our friend. I had heard her name from my friend but never knew who she was or what she looked like. In the last 3-5 months before D-Day her name was coming up more often because they were involved in the same volunteer event and suddenly we were invited to her house like she and her husband wanted to be couple friends with us. (He was a strange bird.) That only happened once. I thought she was nervous and weird.

There was a story floating around after he moved out and they started dating in public that they had known each other in college and how romantic it was that they found each other again after all those years apart. When my friend and I heard about that we burst out laughing at how made up it was. My WXH met OW at my friend's house, when she was present, and they did NOT know each other from the past. It's quite possible they found themselves in the same city once on the same day, but he didn't go to the same college as OW (although his sister did). We think it's hysterical that their history re-write had to go to such dramatic lengths to justify their A and now M. Twu lurve will find a way

Hmm. Fifteen minutes before they danced, thirty minutes before they kissed, two hours before a full make out session including “feeling each other up”. Then she was classy enough to wait until the next day to meet up with him again and finish checking off all of the boxes.

This was followed by two plus months of phone sex, sexting, pic exchanges and planning for the next rendezvous until she was discovered.

Good question. Wish I knew the exact answer.

My best guess is anywhere between about 4 - 16 weeks. She was also married. Guessing coworkers suspected but he claims nobody at work knew even though they were banging at the office.

AP1: They knew each other online for six month before we all met in person to go to a Globetrotter's game. They made out that night. Sex three months later.

AP2: OM was about a month before the EA started and he introduced her to his wife, the OW. The EA intensified for eight months before she flew to their state to go to a business conference, stayed an extra week, and spent it screwing both of them. So eight months. She's still "with" them, LDR from 2,000 miles away.